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Depression and Suicide If you or a loved one is feeling depressed or suicidal, you are not alone. Talk with other users about your feelings here.

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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
Cari Offline
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Im scared - December 25th 2012, 06:05 AM

I just keep telling myself be strong, be strong dont cry, stay positive....... I have tried to commit suicide 3 times...but failed...my body is shaken im a failure, im stupid, im shy, im quiet, im ugly, im a freak, im weak all and more insults are going around in my head..i cant take this anymore i NEED help i WANT help....i cant keep all this inside me.. is killing me im scared

Last edited by Palmolive; December 25th 2012 at 11:18 PM. Reason: Removing prefix
  (#2 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Im scared - December 25th 2012, 06:55 AM

Aw Cari I know what you are going through. You are strong even if you feel weak. You are very strong you want help. And with willpower help is what you will get. you are not stupid or anyone the things you said you are. your are not. Don't lable yourself as a failure you are no such thing. You will get through this dark time. It wont be easy but I care about you. and if you ever need to talk PM me anytime. I'm always on. Don't be scared. You will get through this.I know you can. Take care.

Eva (:
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Re: Im scared - December 25th 2012, 07:08 AM

Hey Cari

Keep telling yourself to be strong, to stay positive. It's a step in the right direction. And crying is good for you - so don't be ashamed of it. Many people I know feel better after they cry, me included. Lose the negative thoughts - they won't get you anywhere - and I seriously doubt that they are all true. Some of what you say is going round your head I don't see as an insult - there's nothing wrong with being shy or quiet (I happen to be a lot of both).

Anyway, it's great that you want help. Another step in the right direction. Is it possible for you to talk to your parents about these thoughts? Or another relative, pastor, trusted friend, school counselor? You don't deserve to go through these thoughts alone. You're worth more than that. Getting help for this is scary, but I know you can do it!

If you ever want to talk PM/VM me
  (#4 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Im scared - December 25th 2012, 11:42 AM

Trying to stay strong is a positive approach as long as you don't bottle things up too much from other people that care about you in your life. You're doing really great, you know? You're asking for help AND telling yourself to stay strong. BUT, crying is a good thing, well, obviously not since it means something is wrong but it helps relieve stress and crying, then going to sleep and potentially have you wake up feeling slightly more relived and happier. So never stop yourself from crying. It's healthy. Don't listen to people that say it means you're a baby if you cry.

Second, please don't commit suicide. You're an amazing person and I know at least SOMEONE in your life cares and loves you dearly. You wouldn't want to devastate someone that badly with your suicide would you? You are not a failure till you take your life. You are never a failure. The fact you're still here and trying to get help means you aren't a failure because you haven't given up, take that into thought.

You just made a huge step to recovery by posting this, you know that? Hope so. You realize you need help, now the next step is helping yourself. It's really hard to recover when you aren't happy with yourself. Do something nice for someone, do something good each day and reward yourself. Helping people helps the soul. At least it helps me. Fix your hair, wear a nice necklace and wear something pretty and doll yourself up. But don't do it for anyone else, do it for yourself. Compliment yourself that you look nice today. Treat yourself to a nice dessert you deserve.

Play a game
Go for a walk
Watch a movie
Watch TV
Listen to Music
Talk to friends
Help out your parents to distract yourself
Take a relaxing bubble bath or just a warm bath/shower
Talk to your parents/therapist/friend/parents/counselor/teacher about how you feel if you can. It's better than suffering in silence.

Mainly, do something for yourself. You deserve it.

Suicide is never the answer. You're 15 and you still have so much life to experience.
Finding great friends and having fun with them
Meeting a great guy
Marrying him, feeling like everything fits right into place
Holding your first child in your arms and the moment when your child grabs your thumb and giggles as the baby stares into your eyes.

You are never worthless because you have the ability from the grace and love of God to create life. To be happy with a partner. To make someone else's day brighter. You are on this earth for a reason. Live for that.
See all the beauty on this earth and create a more positive mindset on things. See the beautiful trees so green in the summer, and in the winter the leaves fall off and die, but then in the summer they grow back so beautifully. That's a sign that whenever things get bad and you feel as you're falling, you'll eventually get back up stronger and more beautiful than ever. That's how we learn, from our mistakes and depression. To better help us deal with things in the future.

Look up at the beautiful clear blue sky and all the stars aligning so perfect and shining brighter than ever for us all. See all the beautiful things in this world for us, look past the bad and see that there's beauty in everything. Even depression, because you learn about yourself and learn how to pick yourself up. You embrace friendship and learn how to appreciate things better.

Live for the future, don't throw your life away. You are worth so much more than suicide and I hope you realize that before it's too late. If you feel suicidal please call a hotline.

You can contact me anytime you like. I'd love to talk with you and listen. Remember, there are good things in life and you'll begin to realize the good outweighs the bad.

Stay strong, hun. <3 You can do this.

~ Christabel
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Re: Im scared - December 25th 2012, 11:17 PM

You know what? Being strong doesn't mean forcing a fake smile and not crying. I think you've got a lot of strength in you and you've proved that to me today by coming on here and letting us in to what's going on for you right now. I can imagine that was a really big step for you but you've done it and that's honestly something you should be proud of yourself for.

Sure, being positive helps and I always encourage people to be positive, but that's often when the person is always negative. I expect a person like yourself, who is going through what you are going through to be negative and I think that's some what healthy. But you need a healthy balance I think. I don't expect you to be positive about everything and when you feel this way, I expect you to be negative about everything but I will encourage you to try and turn some of those things around so you have that balance. Try and find a few positives in your life right now because I think sometimes we can have those few things that really help us to hold on to life when we feel so low, you know?

I think crying can be a good release of emotion. And if it helps you then cry. It it doesn't have any affect, it's still okay to cry. It definitely doesn't make you weak or anything like that. I know when I feel low and when I cry, it makes me so tired I end up falling to sleep and when I wake up, I always seem to feel that little bit better. Find ways to express yourself in a healthy way, whether that's crying, writing, doing art, doing sport and so on.

Like yourself, I have attempted suicide several times and I can relate to that feeling you get afterwards. But maybe, there's a reason all your attempts were failed. Maybe that's just proof that you're meant to be here and you're supposed to be alive right now. I know these thoughts are hard to deal with, but they are only thoughts. Yes, they are horrible and unpleasent to have to have, but they can't hurt you. Only you can hurt yourself. You're in control of them. Find reasons to live, small and big ones and hold on to them, fight for them and don't let them go because you honestly, you have everything to live for. You're still so young and you can do anything you want with your life. Fight for it and I promise you that in the end, it'll be so worth it.

You haven't said whether anything is happening or has happened to trigger these feelings and thoughts but I want you to know that if there is something and you want to talk about it, we'll always be here for you. You say you don't want to keep it all in any more and you don't have to, okay? You're not alone, don't be afraid to let people in to help you. Talk to family and friends or ever talk to a teacher or school nurse/counsellor. People can help you through this but they can only do so if they know what is happening for you right now.

You can do this okay? So keep smiling and don't stop fighting.

"Only in the dark, can you see the stars..."
Josie 12/3/2014, always in my heart. Sue 19/2/2016; Peter, Ellie, Hannah, Andy, Kirtsie RIP.

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