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Depression and Suicide If you or a loved one is feeling depressed or suicidal, you are not alone. Talk with other users about your feelings here.

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secretone1 Offline
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CONFUSED - January 1st 2013, 09:07 PM

I don't really know if I'm depressed or not. I know I'm not suicidal but I do really want to die, I just don't have a reason to live. I cut myself almost every day. Nobody knows I'm to embarrassed to tell my family. I have best friends but I Dont trust anyone. I feel so lonely and unloved and unwanted. I hate myself. Hate my life I'm ugly and fat I've been thinking about starving myself. I just wish I was never even born I wish somebody cared or would just listen, and help me. I don't think I can take living any longer. I think I'm ready to give up on life. ;(
   
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Re: CONFUSED - January 1st 2013, 10:49 PM

Hi there, to Teen Help.

I'm glad you're reaching out to us.

As someone who's struggling with the stuff you mentioned, maybe I can help. First, I think you really need to tell someone, like a teacher, coach, guidance counselor, or any trusted adult. I know you probably don't want to tell people, but a weight will be lifted off your shoulders if you do!

Please don't starve yourself! I suffer from an eating disorder and it's no fun. It actually messes with my heart and makes me sicker a lot easier. If you want to lose weight, try to do it the healthy way.

As for your depression, I'm sure the last thing you want to do it get out there, but that'll help. Go for a walk, write, go talk to friends, do whatever makes you happy.

I understand how you feel about suicide. It's like you don't want to live but you don't want to die. Please do not take your life. I care about you and I wouldn't want that to happen. You deserve to be happy.

Don't be embarassed to tell anyone. If you broke you leg, would you hide it? Nope, you'd go to the hospital and get it treated. Depression and self harm is just like that.

I wish the best for you.


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Re: CONFUSED - January 1st 2013, 11:31 PM

Hello

I think it's really great that you've recognised feeling this way isn't okay and that you've come to us for some help and support. Talking to people can be a really hard thing for a lot of people to do but I think you've taken a really good step forward.

I can't tell you if you're depressed - you would have to be assessed by a psychiatrist for a diagnoses. Everyone in the world goes through low stages every now and then and that's quite normal but if this is an on-going problem then I really suggest you try and see your doctor. It might be they book you another appointment for a few weeks later to have another check up and they may talk to you about receiving help from a mental health professional if they feel it's needed. Either way, just having that support and someone to talk to can be incredibly helpful.

I'm glad that you're not thinking or planning on killing yourself but I am sorry that you feel like you want to die. I can imagine how hard that must be for you. You say you don't have a reason to live. How about making reasons to live? You can try and start two lists. One list of short term goals and another for long term goals. So short term ones could be like, to meet a friend, to read a book, to go to the cinema, to start yoga, to spend time with a pet and so on. Where long term goals can be things like to go to college, to start a career, to having driving lessons, to write a book, to really help people and so on. Having small and big things to aim towards can really help some people so it might be worth a try. You don't have to sit down and do it all at once either, it can be an on-going project. You're so young and you have your entire life ahead of you and there's so much more for you to see and experience. When you get doing those things, it'll be so worth it.

Firstly, you shouldn't be embarrassed about talking to people around you about self harming. It's nothing to be ashamed of because it doesn't change who you are what so ever. You are still you and if your friends are real friends, it wouldn't change the way they are towards you or the way they think of you. They would still love you for you. Can I ask how you feel self harm helps you? I know that some people self harm because they feel they deserve to be punished where as some people do it because they like the sight of the blood. Everyone self harms for different reasons and I'm just wondering how you feel it helps you.

I'm also wondering if you know what triggers these urges? Has it kind of been like, you started to feel low and then you started self harming as a way to cope with how you feel? Or has something happened to make you feel the need to hurt yourself in the past or maybe something is going on for you now? If you don't know your triggers, keeping a self harm log might help. You can write the date, time, where you are, who you're with, what you're doing and how you're feeling as well as rating the urges on a scale of 1-10. Why? It might help you figure out and understand a pattern.

I want you to know that you're not alone in this. You never will be but you have to talk to people and let them in in order for them to be able to be there for you and support you through this. We're here to help you too and we always will be but I think that having support at home can be really helpful. Just having someone to turn to when you feel really low and upset can actually feel nice, like you're not alone. And people do care, and they can help you, okay? I care about you for one. You can do this but you have to work really hard and you have to take control and most importantly, you have to have faith in yourself and believe in yourself.

It's about baby steps, but you can do this, alright? So keep on fighting and don't make yourself on your own. You deserve happiness.

Look after yourself and stay safe,
Jessie.


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Re: CONFUSED - January 2nd 2013, 12:47 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by secretone1 View Post
I don't really know if I'm depressed or not. I know I'm not suicidal but I do really want to die, I just don't have a reason to live. I cut myself almost every day. Nobody knows I'm to embarrassed to tell my family. I have best friends but I Dont trust anyone. I feel so lonely and unloved and unwanted. I hate myself. Hate my life I'm ugly and fat I've been thinking about starving myself. I just wish I was never even born I wish somebody cared or would just listen, and help me. I don't think I can take living any longer. I think I'm ready to give up on life. ;(
Don't starve yourself, but there's nothing wrong with short periods of fasting as a way of cleansing your body. Doesn't really do much for weight loss, though. Loneliness seems to be an epidemic these days, a product of the industrial society, technology, and overpopulation. Why don't you trust anyone? Do you have anything to lose but putting faith in your friends? And, of course, I'm always willing to listen if you need anything.

~Jay



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You can find my kind living right on the fault line, eyes on the seaside, lives on the B-side, kites on the power lines.
   
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Re: CONFUSED - January 3rd 2013, 05:49 AM

Hey, there! I'm Christabel.

I agree with Jessie, it's great that you realize how you're feeling. I'm glad you aren't actually gonna commit suicide but I am really sorry that you feel this bad to wanna give up. I understand things must be really bad.

I really think you should consider talking with a counselor or therapist. As for being embarrassed about it with your family. I get how it can be hard to talk about things but that, nerve-wracking as well. But communicating with them instead of bottling all these things up could really make a big positive improvement in your life. You seem to hate many things and seem to be frustrated. I've been there, I still go there often, it's a dark place that seems to trap you. So I understand, but going about the day keeping everything to yourself will never help anything but progress to more anger and depression. Pave the road to happiness with bravery.

And again, I agree with Jessie. Make reasons to live. Spending time with pets can really open your eyes to see how much beauty is in the world for us and how much life was intended to be simple. They can really cut down on some loneliness. It helps me a lot to hold my kitten in my arms. How warm and cuddly they feel. Try to do things that make you feel happy. Things you enjoy, listen to new music you haven't heard, watch a movie/tv show you haven't seen. Discover new things and hobbies you've never tried before. Be adventurous. Write your feelings down in a journal, go for a walk/run, go biking.

Don't starve yourself. I know it may seem like the only way to lose weight, but remember you're beautiful just the way you are. Inside and out. I understand the feelings of worthlessness that can come from it though, so what makes me feel better... Now this is a bit odd but hey, it works for me. I do 20 push-ups 3 times a day. 1: After I have coffee. 2: Little before dinner. 3: After dinner before bed. It eases my mind.

Most important of all, realize you're a special person and you deserve happiness. Recovery is possible and you can do this. I'm always here if you need someone to listen, I know how it feels to feel like no one is there. I care and I'd love to listen. You can trust me, I mean it.

Stay strong. <3

~ Christabel
   
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