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Depression and Suicide If you or a loved one is feeling depressed or suicidal, you are not alone. Talk with other users about your feelings here.

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How to help my friends - January 2nd 2013, 02:03 AM

This thread has been labeled as triggering, particularly on the subject of suicide, by the original poster or by a Moderator. The contents of this thread therefore might not be suitable for certain sensitive users. Please take this into consideration before continuing to read.

Nearly all of my friends suffer from varying levels of depression whereas I have never even come close to being truly depressed and/or hating myself. It pains me like nothing else to know that while I'm being happy and enjoying myself, they are cutting, starving themselves, crying, or even planning their own deaths. I want to help them but I feel powerless. I try to be nice to them and spend time with them as much as possible (not that I didn't already do that before I knew they were depressed) but I'm afraid to actually bring up their depression. As previously mentioned, I have absolutely no personal experience in the matter so I'm worried that I would only make things worse. Not to mention they don't know that I know the extent to which they're depressed.
   
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Re: How to help my friends - January 2nd 2013, 02:30 AM

They're lucky to have such a great friend!

I suffer with an eating disorder and Major Depressive Disorder, and various other things. Honestly, nothing anyone can say can make it better. Just be there for them if they ever need to talk. As for confronting them, they are probably scared about what you might know. I think you have to take the step of talking to them, because I doubt that they will talk first. Good luck


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Re: How to help my friends - January 2nd 2013, 02:36 AM

Hello,

I'd like to give you a big Thank You! for sticking by your friends through their depressions. Not many people can do that.
I actually have experience in both departments. When I was depressed and suicidal what I desperately needed was someone anyone to talk to! my one friend was very helpful, He would basically let me vent out everything to him, say anything, He wouldn't judge me or say I'm wrong. If you were to just say to your friends that you're there for them, you won't judge, you'll listen and offer any advice. Trust me even if they say they don't want anyone really they do.
As a person who offered the help and guidance to someone who was depressed and suicidal, it can be very emotional, you hate seeing your friends so unhappy. I just listened and let them vent it out. I told them that unless I felt there life was threatened then whatever they would tell me I wouldn't use it against them later nor would I blab it to everyone.
Again I commend you...I bet you are the sunlight in there lives.


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Re: How to help my friends - January 2nd 2013, 03:01 AM

Hey there,

You are a really wonderful friend for wanting to help out so much and caring the way you do. I think that the best thing you can do for them is let them know exactly how much you love and care about them, and make sure that they know that you are available to talk when they need someone to listen to them. You may not have a whole lot of experience but sometimes all someone needs to know is they do have someone they can vent to, and that someone does care about them. Talking to them can be nerve racking, but maybe it is for the best so they can have a good support system.

If you ever believe that they are in any serious danger like at a risk of committing suicide, urge them to get help, and if they do not get the help and you think they are in danger, it is okay to report it to an adult. They may be upset with you at first, but at least you would be keeping them safe and sound, and that is what matters the most.

I wish you the very best!

-Dez


   
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Re: How to help my friends - January 2nd 2013, 06:08 PM

Very good post. I like this best.
   
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Re: How to help my friends - January 3rd 2013, 06:20 AM

Hey, first, I wanna say you're an amazing friend for caring and being so concerned about them. That's a beautiful thing. I'm so sorry about your friends. I know it's hard seeing people you care about suffering because I've been there, a lot and it's lonely and dark, but you gotta realize that caring this much to feel this bad over what they're going through, obviously means it's a good friendship. If you didn't care or feel bad for them then that wouldn't be good.

First, how about sitting them down and letting them know you've noticed something isn't right and you'd like to help. Tell them they can talk to you if they need someone. That could really help. They have to be the ones to decide to recover from depression but of course when things go so wrong in life that can be really hard for understandable reasons. So you can't completely fix everything but I do know that having someone there to talk to and listen to your problems, can give comfort. However the outcome though, you have to take care of yourself and realize you can't fix everything. Be proud of yourself for trying to help and being a good friend. Never stop caring for people.

How about also recommending your friends to the school counselor or tell them about TeenHelp?

Good luck to your friends. Remind them to stay strong and you Stay Strong as well <3

~ Christabel
   
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