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Depression and Suicide If you or a loved one is feeling depressed or suicidal, you are not alone. Talk with other users about your feelings here.

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Breathe~me Offline
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My last breath. - January 13th 2013, 01:53 AM

This thread has been labeled as triggering, particularly on the subject of suicide, by the original poster or by a Moderator. The contents of this thread therefore might not be suitable for certain sensitive users. Please take this into consideration before continuing to read.

So I may as well make this as short as I possibly can, so here goes nothing.
I think of suicide everyday. It's not something that I want to stop thinking of all together though, sometime it makes me happy and sometimes it makes me feel worse. When I do feel suicidal I usually cut since the thought of punishing myself makes the thought of suicidal go temporarily away. So now I'm coming to the point where I feel that 1) Self Harm isn't enough & 2) That I don't want to be left with scars for the rest of my life. I have tried literally everything but I DON'T need a distraction or an alternative to self harm because nothing can replace it, nothing is exactly the same. And I don't want the thoughts of suicide to completely go away because I feel relief in imagining my own death.

So my question is: When you feel that self harm/ cutting isn't enough or leaves you with permanent unwanted scars how would you get rid of the thought of suicide when you DON'T want it at that exact moment, when self harm is something that seems like the only cure ?

Please help me with this people before I end up even more alone and isolated to the point of putting a slipknot around my neck

BTW. I am not addicted ( I don't do it every week or every day; only when I'm on the edge of an emotional cliff)


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Re: My last breath. - January 13th 2013, 09:00 AM

Well when I have thoughts of depression or anxiety, I often listen to music or read books. Reading puts me in, like, an alternate reality where I can just put my thoughts and imagination into that world instead of the world that's caused me to have those self-harming, and suicidal, thoughts. Music isn't the same for me, but it does boost the hormone dopamine which makes us excited and motivated to do things. It also lets us know that there's someone out there who feels just like us, and that we're not alone. Maybe you could increase some of the things that make you happy; shopping, writing, drawing, playing sports, etc. If none of these work or you just want/need to talk to someone, I'll always be here for anything; you're not alone.


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Re: My last breath. - January 13th 2013, 10:49 PM

Think of what would happen if you did die. Your loved ones would suffer; don't tell yourself they wouldn't. And there would be a gaping hole in the world without you. Don't ever, ever, EVER give up.
- Collies R Us


"Be strong and bold; have no fear or dread of them, because it is the LORD your God who goes with you; he will not fail you or forsake you." (Deut. 31:6 NRSV of the Bible)
   
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Re: My last breath. - January 14th 2013, 02:40 AM

Darling... I've said what I believe in your other thread. Your family and friends wouldn't be the same without you, they'd be distraught. It'd cause them so much pain. More pain than just seeing you depressed. Everyday they'd battle with the thoughts of "what if..." "what if I'd had done this...". Suicide isn't worth it. It's never a good solution. Please hun, things won't always be this bad. I realize that things are really rough and these thoughts are hard to deal with and you do think this is the only way out, but please talk to someone and open up. Get some help because it sounds like you already are or so close to rock bottom. Help yourself, please.

I'm here for you if you need to talk. Keep fighting <3

~ Christabel
   
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