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Depression and Suicide If you or a loved one is feeling depressed or suicidal, you are not alone. Talk with other users about your feelings here.

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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
Breathe~me Offline
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Name: Janine
Age: 23
Gender: Female
Location: lost and no where to be found ~ </3

Posts: 173
Join Date: February 28th 2012

Alone, depressed and hopeless. - January 16th 2013, 09:18 AM

This thread has been labeled as triggering, particularly on the subject of suicide, by the original poster or by a Moderator. The contents of this thread therefore might not be suitable for certain sensitive users. Please take this into consideration before continuing to read.

So I may as well make this as quick as possible.
I'm 16, I have severe depression, I self harm occasionally and have reoccurring suicidal thoughts.
Today was the last day I saw my face-to-face counselor since she was only on contract.
I live in a rural area so there isn't really any help available so please don't say go see someone because I can't there isn't anyone..
I have tried helplines and I am using one although it still feels like cyber space, just doesn't feel real..
I have seen counselors, a psychiatric nurse and a psychiatrist, along with school counselors and I'm still as depressed as i was 2 years ago. The only difference is that I now put a smile on my face regardless of how I feel because I don't want to hurt or worry anyone
I just feel like nothing has is going to ever work.
I don't believe I'm going to fully 'heal'.
I've seen Lots of people and been on medication but nothing has worked.
So now I'm alone & believing that any help i get won't make a difference.
I really don't see why I should stay any longer, I don't think I'm strong enough to deal with the thoughts,emotions,temptations and cravings.
Every time I walk over a bridge I stop.
Every time I see a train I stop and stare at it.
And Every time I see a rope I picture a noose and feel happy
What's left of me...

~ Words scar, Rumors destroy and bullies kill ~
~ I'm just another nobody.
~ You can't tell how much suffering is on a face that's always smiling </3
~ Be my friend.
hold me.
wrap me up.
unfold me.
I am small and needy.
Warm me up and breathe me.

Subscribe to me on Youtube <3 http://www.youtube.com/user/xJustAnotherNobodyx1
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  (#2 (permalink)) Old
Just Breathe Offline
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Name: Natalia
Age: 23
Gender: Female
Location: Wonderland

Posts: 35
Join Date: January 14th 2013

Re: Alone, depressed and hopeless. - January 16th 2013, 03:04 PM

I know what you mean
I really don't think anyone ever fully "heals"
It's always going to be that daily battle for control.
But the thing that will get you through it is the fact that your not alone.
You are strong enough!
You may not have help out there but u do have help on here.
Don't give up on yourself! You deserve to have a happy life.
Therapy never helped me. I went to this lady for like 3 months and my mom stopped sending me cause she couldn't afford it.
But I'm doing fine healing on my own, with help from other self harmers.
So believe me u can get through this.
I believe u can get through this.

If u ever want to talk KIK me nataliabundy
Or PM me

Stay Strong <3

Sticks and stones break your bones,
I know what you're feeling
Words like those won't steal your glow,
you're one in a million" ~ Britt Nicole

Last edited by Just Breathe; January 16th 2013 at 03:06 PM. Reason: Misspelling
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Re: Alone, depressed and hopeless. - January 19th 2013, 05:47 AM

I'm really sorry you feel so bad like this. I see that you do deserve happiness. Although I'm at a loss for words... I'm here if you need someone to talk to.

If you feel suicidal please call a hotline. Your life is worth it. Everyone's here for a reason. <3

~ Christabel
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