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Depression and Suicide If you or a loved one is feeling depressed or suicidal, you are not alone. Talk with other users about your feelings here.

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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
Catharsis. Offline
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Losing hope - January 17th 2013, 08:40 PM

Hey everyone,

Sorry for being such a needy, selfish little twat, but I need help (again). I remember posting on here about a month or so ago about how I felt lonely and depressed, and the people who replied to me were very understanding and helped me feel better, and I'm really thankful for that.

But now those feelings are back. I haven't felt this bad in a long time, and I'm really finding it hard to cope at the moment. Depression isn't something I'm new to either, I've struggled since I was 13 but it hasn't been this bad for a while.

Sometimes it's kind of hard for me not to feel down. I'm 16, I have no real ambitions, I have very few friends (and find it hard to make friends because of my social anxiety issues), I have very low self-esteem and confidence and I'm not really good at anything (I suppose I do well at school, but even my grades are in danger of slipping now). What I do have, and am very grateful for having, are generally supportive parents. I just find it hard to talk to them sometimes. I've hid all this, and most of the other problems I've had (including being bullied for years), from them, because I'm afraid to tell them. I probably should have gotten help a long time ago, but it's too late now.

I just hope someone understands. I feel hopeless, like I'm trapped, like I'm doomed to feel like this forever. I'm trying to improve my situation, but it's just too hard sometimes. Maybe I just need some encouragement. I don't know, I just don't know...
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Re: Losing hope - January 17th 2013, 09:02 PM

don't loose hope
im always here for you no matter what <3

I understand what you are going through and im always here for you no matter what


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Re: Losing hope - January 18th 2013, 08:22 AM

Hey Gareth,
First of all, you're not a needy, selfish little twat for posting on here. Like Jen said, don't lose hope, we're here for you. I've had depression for 3 years too and it's true that sometimes it feels easier and then it just comes back and hits you.
The best thing to do in your position is to find what makes you happy. I'm sure you're not unhappy all the time. Sometimes it may feel as though every minute of your life has been filled with pain, but the thing is that you haven't always felt like this. You have been happy before. Maybe it wasn't for a particularly long time. Maybe it was just a few minutes or a few hours, but it doesn't mean that because you've spent so much of your life unhappy that it will always be like this.
There are things that will heal you. Whether it is a person, support from a range of people or just a certain activity or thing that just brings joy to your life. The guide to being happy is to find your passion in life and focus on that. Find out what makes you happy and surround yourself with it.
Don't know what makes you happy? Make a list. Every time you feel happy write down everything about that moment and then, when the depression starts to take hold of you and pulls you back under, you can choose from the list something to do to make yourself feel better.
I know how you feel, just the other day it hit me really hard just how much I hate how my life's turned out, but using this list really helped me and I hope it helps you too.
When you go on a downwards spiral, the important thing is to not think about it. The more you think about it, the more the depression festers at you and makes it harder for you to pull yourself out of the darkness.
I'm always here to talk, so don't be afraid to PM/VM me.


I could dwell on my problems... But I'd rather make a milkshake...
   
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Re: Losing hope - January 18th 2013, 09:49 AM

Aw Gareth, I'm sorry to hear you're struggling so much right now.

It's never too late to get help for something, yes, it might be too late to successfully reverse the damage caused but you can get help for it all the same.
You're entitled to it really. You're a great guy, and I'm hoping you consider me a friend(?) but don't let bully's get you down, and stay strong, make goals to strive for, I know it's hard to do, but find something your passionate about and stick with it when you feel down.
It'll help.

Feel free to PM me if you want to talk mate.

Jay.


Buddy since 18/11/12 LiveHelp Operator since 22/12/12 Add me on Facebook Jay Louise Shorrock!
A whisper in the dark; is better than silence in the light. -Courtesy of your's truly.
My blog is open to all, those whom are easily triggered avoid, it's a story about a girl and her life and how far she has come over the years. If you read it, I hope it inspires you to keep fighting and to NEVER give up!

When you can no longer think of a reason to continue, you must think of a reason to start over.
   
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Re: Losing hope - January 18th 2013, 11:36 AM

Hi, Gareth.

Don't worry, needing help isn't selfish at all! You're amazing for reaching out, everyone needs a shoulder to lean on and me along with others I assume are here for you. You aren't alone.

I'm so sorry about how you're feeling... Though I understand how sometimes in life it can feel as nothing goes right, you're always in a sad mood and everything's falling apart and you can't cope, I understand that. But remember the times you were happy in life and know that you'll get those good feelings back sometime or another because storms always pass and then the rainbow will be there.

How about working on things one step at a time? Try to reduce your social anxiety issues. Remind yourself everytime you start feeling anxiety that whatever you fear probably won't happen. Have faith in yourself and when you fear talking to someone, talk to them. Facing your fears make them start to seem less scary and get you more comfortable.

About your parents, I know it can be very difficult to talk to them and open up about some very personal things bothering you but how about this... You say they're very supportive, so just think that if you were to open up about things bothering you then maybe they could talk with you, listen to your concerns and try to help you? That bravery would make for a positive life change. I know it's really hard, so how about writing it on a letter or something telling them instead of face to face? You could get out of the face to face confessing for lack of a better word and be able to talk it over with them after they read and know of it. They're your parents, they're supposed to listen and understand and support you. And also, maybe a school counselor or therapist could help to? Can you speak with friends or therapists about how you're feeling?

Even though you have only a few friends, take time to appreciate them everytime you see or speak with them. Everytime something good happens or just a little something that makes you feel happy, take the time to appreciate and cherish the moment. Begin with little things, you'll begin to see things more positively.

I do get how with depression it can be very difficult to wanna do any activities or you may lose interests in things you used to enjoy. Sometimes staying by yourself and not doing anything could give you some good thinking time but that's when the lonely thoughts begin to sit in. Try your best to distract yourself and do something positive when your mind tells you to be alone. Might I add that outside activities are really good in the daylight? Because the sunlight naturally increases chemicals in your brain which induce positive emotions. It'll help, sorta like assist you in feeling a little more happier but you have to try and be happy too. Which is easier said than done, I know. I got some tips on some things you could do which some depend on weather.
  • Go biking
  • Go for a walk or run
  • Go out to eat
  • Go to the cinema
  • Play some instruments, and if you already do, maybe write a song?
  • Try out for a sport at school
  • Write down your feelings and thoughts in a journal
  • Write your own story/poems that relate with your emotions to express yourself
  • Read some new books
  • Keep a journal and write in it everyday, the things that made you happy and the things that made you sad, rip it in half and keep the positives. On a bad day, look at those lists again and remember that good things do happen.
  • Listen to Music you enjoy or listen to music you've never heard
  • Watch Movies
  • Watch TV, find a new favorite show to keep up with
  • Play games
  • Spend time with friends/relatives or family or call them up/E-Mail them

Also, when I was feeling bad, I got the DVD's of all the Loony Tunes episodes. It's really helpful to make you laugh and plus, in Loony Tunes, you'll see a lot of bright happy colors along with silly humor. It should definitely make you smile. Comedies and silly stuff is really happy and should make you smile or laugh when you're depressed. Remember, try to stay around people and smile. Talk to new people, do new things, be adventurous and find some things you like to do. Find some hidden talents. I'm sure you're full of so much amazing potential just waiting to be explored.

I understand how you can just feel so lonely and sad, empty. But remember that it won't last forever. You have a whole future of amazing possibilities. You seem really amazing, smart, and really kind. Don't let depression take away your future. You can get past this. Telling your parents, you could also see if they could help you with some homework you're struggling with due to depression. Always remember though, it takes rain and sunshine to make a rainbow, that's why life is mixed with negatives and positives. The storm will eventually go away, so in the meantime, dance in the rain and make everyone wonder how you're still smiling. As I've mentioned, you seem like a really great person so you certainly deserve to be happy. I believe you'll obtain that one day, please believe in yourself because you can do this, have faith. I'm always here if you need to talk, I'm only a PM/VM away. You can get through this. Hope I helped a bit. c:

Stay Strong <3

~ Christabel
   
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Re: Losing hope - January 18th 2013, 05:05 PM

Thanks for replying everyone, it really means a lot.

Jen - Thanks, and I'm here for you if you need someone as well.

Tiazz - Thanks for the advice, and I'm sorry to hear you have the same problem. My case is pretty similar to yours actually, one day I just realised how much I hate my life, it was the exact same as how you described feeling, so I can relate to your situation. Thanks.

Jay - Honestly, thanks so much for everything. You've been really supportive and understanding, anytime I've needed help you've been there, I really can't thank you enough for all of it. And of course I consider you a friend. You're an amazing person, I feel privileged to be friends with you.

Christabel - Wow, clicking the thumbs up button on the post doesn't even seem like enough. Thanks so much. I'm working on my social anxiety, I've actually made great progress in the past while, but I'm still not there yet. Like you said, I've found facing my fears is a good way to overcome it, but, as I'm sure you understand, it isn't always easy to do so. I'm getting better at it, though. Thanks for the advice regarding my parents as well. As for the thing with my friends, it might just be (and probably is) me being paranoid, but sometimes I think they find me irritating. I feel like I'm a burden on them. :/ Some of them know about the problems I've had, but it seems like they don't want to get involved, and I don't blame them really. The list of activities is great as well. Thanks for taking the time to write all that.

I don't know how many times I've used the word "thanks" in this post lol, but thanks again everyone, you're all such great people, I'm overwhelmed with all the responses I got, just reading your replies has helped me feel a bit better.

Gareth
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Re: Losing hope - January 18th 2013, 09:49 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by trueblue26 View Post
Jay - Honestly, thanks so much for everything. You've been really supportive and understanding, anytime I've needed help you've been there, I really can't thank you enough for all of it. And of course I consider you a friend. You're an amazing person, I feel privileged to be friends with you.

As for the thing with my friends, it might just be (and probably is) me being paranoid, but sometimes I think they find me irritating. I feel like I'm a burden on them. :/ Some of them know about the problems I've had, but it seems like they don't want to get involved, and I don't blame them really.

I don't know how many times I've used the word "thanks" in this post lol, but thanks again everyone, you're all such great people, I'm overwhelmed with all the responses I got, just reading your replies has helped me feel a bit better.
Hey there,

Gareth it's been my pleasure, you're a great guy and I'm glad that I have been of some help.

I have the same thing with my friends in all honesty. All I can say is you're a great guy and I'm sure they love having you around. If you feel this way, maybe you can discuss it with them and ask their opinions of you? As much as it may seem like a strange thing to do, I guarantee it's worth it. My friends and I usually sit in a circle and pick a like and dislike about one person. Usually I get too smart and nice personality, lol, better than nothing right?
Yeah, maybe see if you could do that? It's a good time-waster to

I'm glad that reading these have helped you mate.

Stay strong,


Jay.


Buddy since 18/11/12 LiveHelp Operator since 22/12/12 Add me on Facebook Jay Louise Shorrock!
A whisper in the dark; is better than silence in the light. -Courtesy of your's truly.
My blog is open to all, those whom are easily triggered avoid, it's a story about a girl and her life and how far she has come over the years. If you read it, I hope it inspires you to keep fighting and to NEVER give up!

When you can no longer think of a reason to continue, you must think of a reason to start over.
   
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Re: Losing hope - January 19th 2013, 03:32 AM

So glad I could help. It's good you're working on your social anxiety, every small step and every small fear you overcome can help a lot in the future. You're doing great. I do understand about fears being difficult to overcome though, take it one day at a time. :3

~ Christabel
   
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Re: Losing hope - January 19th 2013, 03:23 PM

can you email me gareth ?


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