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cynefin Offline
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I'm all alone now. - January 19th 2013, 01:00 AM

This thread has been labeled as triggering by the original poster or by a Moderator. Please take this into consideration before continuing to read.

Wow, I never realized how hated I really was. I knew I was to some degree with the bullying, but even my own "friends" hate me. According to them, my auto ammune disorder is my fault and I don't help myself. They don't want anything to do with me. They're "so tired of all of this" FUCK them!

First off, I texted them to see how they were, not to blab about myself.

Oh, so my body is attacking itself and it could even kill me. How the hell is that my fault? Going to therapy every damn week isn't helping myself?

I'm on the verge of throwing away almost two weeks with no cutting.

If they want me to help myself, I can do that quite easily. I can die. I'm crying and shaking. I'm such a failure.


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Re: I'm all alone now. - January 19th 2013, 01:26 AM

Hey now. That's not worth it. I was hated for such a long time. And. Now I know that I'm fine without them. You don't need them. They're not worth your life. Even when you think you're alone... You're not. You can text me anytime. It's 850-564-3051
   
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Re: I'm all alone now. - January 19th 2013, 01:33 AM

First off I am sorry you feel the way you do.
I am also sorry that your friends are treating you this way because you or anyone doesn't deserve to be mistreated.
It is easy to think negative esp. when you feel that your supporters/friends are giving up.
I know this is difficult but live YOUR life for YOURSELF. What I mean is believing in yourself. Not what your friends say or even what your family thinks. I know...it's not easy. And I am very sorry that you don't have someone that can stand by your side at your most difficult moments. You! You are your own biggest supporter! Think about your best attributes! think about your dreams! You are only 14! You are so young and there is going to be so much for you in the future! Fight for yourself! Because you deserve it!
I am glad to read that you are seeing a therapist because that is the first step to helping and fighting for yourself. Utilize the coping skills your therapist taught you and most of all believe that there is a better tomorrow.
Another thing I've learned from experiences is that it is really hard for others (esp. those who aren't depressed or understand what it feels to be depressed) to understand and tends to get tired from hearing the "complaints". It is very difficult to put yourself in their shoe in the most subjective way possible. but being friends with someone who depressed can be a burnt-out...literally be draining ("normal" person getting tired being around someone is always negative and sad/upset) who can blame them? and again it is NOT YOUR FAULT. but that is why they aren't professional helpers...
I hope you don't put so much strain on your friends or what they say or do...because you, yourself is most important!

smile! tomorrow will be a better day!
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Re: I'm all alone now. - January 19th 2013, 06:43 AM

Aw, Cassie, sweetie... I'm so sorry this happened.

Who needs them? Your disorder is clearly not your fault and they obviously don't understand it. They are not worth your time if they just attack you for no reason. If the person says something mean to you when they can't even understand what is or isn't your fault, then how could they be right about judging someone saying they're no good? They have no right to.

Cassie, you're amazing and you are not a failure. Keep going to therapy and prove them wrong, don't give up and prove them wrong. You can do this. I'm here for you if you need to talk. <3 None of this is your fault.

Stay Strong <3

~ Christabel
   
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Re: I'm all alone now. - January 19th 2013, 07:48 PM

Thanks, guys. I got more messages and stuff this morning. They refused to talk it out with me. So I just told them all to have nice lives and I thanked them for being a part of mine.


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Re: I'm all alone now. - January 19th 2013, 08:00 PM

cassie you are NOT a failure and if they bully you they don't know the real nice caring kind you . there not worth your time and if you ever EVER need anything pm or vm me me anytime


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Re: I'm all alone now. - January 20th 2013, 12:36 AM

I've considered learning how to make a noose. That's how much pain I'm in. As if I don't feel bad enough. I've been friends with these people for years, I don't understand why they'd throw it all away.


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The mountains are calling and I must go.
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They whispered to her
you cannot withstand the storm
she whispered back
i am the storm.
   
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Re: I'm all alone now. - January 20th 2013, 12:44 AM

forget them they are not worth it . private message me or email me :jencrazy98@gmail.com ok?


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cynefin Offline
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Re: I'm all alone now. - January 23rd 2013, 10:49 PM

I've gotten worse.....it's a long story. I haven't been sleeping at all. It's weird, because my body seems to do fine with no sleep.


Articles & Resources Officer|Lead Moderator|Senior Newsletter Editor
The mountains are calling and I must go.
1941-2016

They whispered to her
you cannot withstand the storm
she whispered back
i am the storm.
   
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