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Depression and Suicide If you or a loved one is feeling depressed or suicidal, you are not alone. Talk with other users about your feelings here.

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xxprincessxx Offline
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honestly, don't know what to do with myself. - January 29th 2013, 08:41 PM

This thread has been labeled as triggering, particularly on the subject of suicide, by the original poster or by a Moderator. The contents of this thread therefore might not be suitable for certain sensitive users. Please take this into consideration before continuing to read.

I suffer from Borderline Personalty Disorder, which is really hard to deal with. I try not to live my life affected by it and don't use it as an excuse. I've been able to cope well with it well for the most part. But today it's really bothering me. I feel like everyone is leaving me or planning (mostly, because my best friend has been in a bad mood and not really speaking to me, for I don't know what reason) but it's really getting to me. I've been trying so hard to tell myself that it's just my disorder and that it's not happening but it really isn't working. I also have been getting really strong desires to cut, I can go months upon months without doing it then I have one day like this and all the urges come rushing back. Same with the suicidal feelings. Is this normal? To be fine for months at a time and to have a bad day and just to want to end it... I don't know what to do, or who to talk to for that matter. I feel so closed up on the inside. :/


all i want is a place to call my own and
mend the hearts of everyone who feels alone,
woah,
you know to keep your hopes up high and your head down low.

<3
   
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Re: honestly, don't know what to do with myself. - January 29th 2013, 08:47 PM

Yes, it is perfectly normal to feel ok for periods of time before you relapse into harmful thoughts and desires. It is important that you find someone close to you that you can talk to, it doesnt have to be in detail but somebody who you can just say 'i've been feeling rather down today' just so that you know somebody knows. Sadly i do not know a lot about BPD but i think that you might find some security in those around you by just telling them how you feel, im sorry if this didnt help but hopefully i helped slightly.
PM me any time, i'd love to be of help.
if you ever need anything let me know.
   
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xxprincessxx Offline
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Re: honestly, don't know what to do with myself. - January 30th 2013, 01:35 AM

It's just so hard. I honestly don't know how to communicate that I'm not okay, I don't want to bring people down because I'm feeling down. Sometimes I really don't feel like my life is going anywhere and it would be so much easier to just stop trying.


all i want is a place to call my own and
mend the hearts of everyone who feels alone,
woah,
you know to keep your hopes up high and your head down low.

<3
   
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jaii Offline
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Re: honestly, don't know what to do with myself. - January 30th 2013, 05:01 PM

Never give up, i promise you that things will get better! Sometimes you have to just think more about your own happiness then how it could make others feel. it is ok to be selfish! that is not a bad thing, people associate selfishness with arrogance but you need to make sure that if you want to talk to someone and tell them how you are feeling that you do that. You need to do what is right for YOU.
Remember i am always here for you!
   
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