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Depression and Suicide If you or a loved one is feeling depressed or suicidal, you are not alone. Talk with other users about your feelings here.

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Ali Bali Offline
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stuck between a rock and a hard place - February 7th 2013, 06:50 PM

Ok so... things haven't really gotten better in the slightest. Yes I may be at uni now studying to be a nurse but to be perfectly honest it feels like im losing grip of everything. I guess it is kinda like a whirlwind in my mind of all my thoughts, I've been stressed out with my course work and on top of it my parents and I never really see eye to eye. Maybe I'm never gonna shift the feeling of wanting to be dead but I'm getting tired of resisting or failing, no-one off of this site knows, I guess no-one cares enough to even notice. I don't want pity that is not the reason for posting this, but if I try end everything again and get caught my whole potential career will go down the toilet. I just don't know what to do anymore. The feeling of being a burden and a disappointment kills me (no pun intended - wait is that even a pun??) The thing is is that i don't want to do this anymore I can't do it like this anymore. So yeah... sorry for wasting your time.
   
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Re: stuck between a rock and a hard place - February 7th 2013, 09:22 PM

Hey,

I'm so sorry about the position that you seem to find yourself in. I feel the exact same way about a lot of things. I know that you said nobody off of this site knows, do you think that there's anybody in your life that you could talk to about even some of this? You don't have to tell them the extent of how horrible you feel yet, but even just a "I've been really depressed lately," can open a lot of doors for support.

I understand how stressful college is especially when dealing with other stressors in your life. I highly suggest speaking to your professors and let them know what is going on and how it's effecting you. They should be happy to accommodate you in any way that you need.

I also understand about feeling suicidal but knowing that if I try that I could potentially be kicked out of school and my life would become even crappier than it already is. I honestly, relate so much to that with what I'm going through. But if you feel like you are definitely going to try something, please talk to somebody. Your life is worth it! You're worth it! By reaching out and showing people that you need help, maybe the university you attend would see that as a positive sign and let you keep studying there?

Again, I'm really sorry for what you are going through! Please, feel free to talk to me about anything at anytime, I'm always here for you!


all i want is a place to call my own and
mend the hearts of everyone who feels alone,
woah,
you know to keep your hopes up high and your head down low.

<3
   
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Ali Bali Offline
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Re: stuck between a rock and a hard place - February 7th 2013, 09:29 PM

If i tell any of my lecturers i will get chucked out of my course and i hate being a burden. Everythings so messed up and i don't know if i can fix it. I've tried for so long to make this feeling pass but now it just seems like it never will now. Shame theres not another solution for this :/
   
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Re: stuck between a rock and a hard place - February 8th 2013, 12:51 AM

There's always a solution, it just takes time to find it! Trust me, I've suffered with depression on and off for over seven years. I've seen the worst that life has to offer, but I've also seen the beauty of life, and that is enough to hang onto when times get rough.

Why would your lecturers throw you out if you tell them what you are going through? I feel like by reaching out, you are showing that you care about yourself and also your studies. Also, you aren't a burden, we all need people at times, and people should be able to be there for you whenever you need them!

I know it's tough, but please hang in there, dear!


all i want is a place to call my own and
mend the hearts of everyone who feels alone,
woah,
you know to keep your hopes up high and your head down low.

<3
   
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Ali Bali Offline
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Re: stuck between a rock and a hard place - February 8th 2013, 04:49 PM

They might chuck me out cos they could think I'm a danger to myself and the patients I'm going to be helping to care for and treat... I honestly don't know what I'm suppose to do. Thing is I struggle to ask for help too its just... Idk I prefer to be a closed book entirely it's easier that way
   
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