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stephanie1234 Offline
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Exclamation I feel worthless - February 7th 2013, 08:56 PM

hi,
I really need help, I feel really depressed and suicidal, not just now but all the time. when i enter a room all i can think of is ways to kill myself using what's availible to me. I've attempted suicide before (my family thought nothing of it) and I keep a packet of pills under my pillow in case I want to kill myself quickly. I have a history of self harm and I constantly ask my family if I can see a councellor but theynever get round to getting me to one. so this website is my last resort, I'm barely coping anymore.
I dont see a purpose in life, I feel like no one would miss me if I'm gone.
reasons as to why I feel so upset are:
-my brother is a transgender (he wants to be my sister) its not like i have anything against it its just it hard watching him begin to wear makeup and bra's and stuff. also he's becoming so girly, i think everyone's forgotten i'm a girl!
-I weigh 8 stone yet my family keep dropping hints that im getting too fat, ive wanted to tell my friends how i feep and ask if they think im fat but i know fatter people so i might sound attention seeking.
anyway, there are more things i should probably say but i feel like a waste of space and like i annoy people with my existance.
please please please help me x
   
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Reign. Offline
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Re: I feel worthless - February 9th 2013, 09:57 PM

Oh Honey.
I am so happy you reached out to us here!

I'm Kay, and I'm here to tell you that you are NOT annoying.
You need someone to listen to you for God's Sake!
Seems like everyone around you kinda brushes you off.. And that breaks my heart.
I am so sorry to hear that such a wonderful girl like you is going through something so awful.

Please, whatever you do, do not take those pills.
Throw them away.

There is a purpose in life!
If there wasn't, we all wouldn't be living.
YOU wouldn't be living.
You have a purpose.
Everything happens for a reason sweetie.
And you were put on this earth live.

I'm sorry you feel like no one pays any attention to you, due to your brother's becoming a girl. (Or, wanting to anyways.)
I hope your family will balance the attention and love to where both of you get the guidance and care you need.

Please, whatever you do, do not act on those thoughts! Even though you have before, don't now.
People would miss you.
You have friends as you mentioned and you have family.
They would miss you.
Literally.

So don't feel like no one would notice you were gone.
Because I don't know anything about you really, yet I would miss you.

Please, PM Me and I'll do the best I can to help you and be there for you.

~Kay.



So dance if it moves you,
and jump in the fire, if it burns you.
I'll throw my arms around you darlin',
and we'll turn to ashes.

Kinda like the way you tell me,
"Baby, please come home. I need you here right now.
I'm crying underwater so you don't hear the sound."


What if I can't forget you?
I'll burn your name into my throat.
I'll be the fire that'll catch you.
What's so good about picking up the pieces?
   
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