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Depression and Suicide If you or a loved one is feeling depressed or suicidal, you are not alone. Talk with other users about your feelings here.

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MeggieMoo1995 Offline
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Name: Megan
Age: 23
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Location: Canada

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Join Date: March 24th 2009

Last chance - February 9th 2013, 09:30 PM

This thread has been labeled as triggering by the original poster or by a Moderator. Please take this into consideration before continuing to read.

Over the last five months, my whole life has fallen apart. I went from being one of the top students in my class with a 93% average in September and on my way to a promising future, to not even an 80% average in January, practically failing some of my classes, and on the verge of having the acceptances I have revoked.

Itís not that I donít understand whatís going on, and Iím not your typical lazy senior. This thingÖ this black cloud plaguing me, is depression. Iíve suffered on and off for the last four and a half years, and have tried everything to make it better. Iíve tried both healthy coping mechanisms and extremely destructive ones but nothing works.

This last bit of it has been really bad. I thought things were pretty terrible beforeÖ was I ever wrong. In the last five months, Iíve managed to isolate myself to the point where no one even acknowledges the fact that Iím alive.

The only person I could count on up until recently was one of my grade 11 teachers. She knew everything about me, but she stuck around anyways. Last time we talked, I was going to tell her how things have been getting bad again, but she gave me the impression that she was writing me off, and not to bug her again.

I have her cell phone number but was told to only use it in emergencies. To be honest, seriously contemplating taking my life again (to the point where I should probaby be hospitalized) seems emergency enough. Donít really want to talk to her again at this point, but she is truly my last option. Whether thatís really healthy or not, I donít care. I used to have a support network, but sheís the only one out of it whoís left, and if not, I guess thereís nothing left of me either.

I haven't been on here in forever, but I needed somewhere to vent.
I'm sorry.


You can't control whether or not it rains, but you can control whether or not you bring an umbrella. <3
   
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JayReneeOffl Offline
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Name: Jamie
Age: 26
Gender: Female
Location: United States, Eastern Seaboard.

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Join Date: February 11th 2013

Re: Last chance - February 11th 2013, 01:21 PM

First off, you mentioned this "dark cloud...for the past four years"...honey, that's called HIGH SCHOOL. They are the best and worst years of your life. This entire site is a support network. If you would like to personally message or email me, you may.
   
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xxprincessxx Offline
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Name: Sammie
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Re: Last chance - February 11th 2013, 04:19 PM

Don't be sorry! We all need somebody to listen to us and help us through! I really think that reaching out to your teacher might be the best option for you right now, it seems you still must trust her if you believe that she is the only person you have left. I'm sorry whenever you went and tried speaking with her, she seemed to blow you off, but she could have done that for a number of reasons that don't necessarily pertain to her relationship with you. I suggest, maybe try talking to her again! If you feel like you're going to try something then either call her or tell your parents, so that you can get the help that you obviously need!

Please hang in there. I know what you're going through, so if you want somebody who understands, please PM me!


all i want is a place to call my own and
mend the hearts of everyone who feels alone,
woah,
you know to keep your hopes up high and your head down low.

<3
   
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