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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
_Headphones_ Offline
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Name: Frankie<3
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Helpless and Hopeless - February 13th 2013, 03:20 AM

My sister used to be the heaviest person in our family well I found out yesterday that she now ways less than me. I am now the fattest in the family. I feel so hopeless and helpless. I could barely walk from the parking lot to my sisters hospital room I was so out of breath by the time I got there and my legs started hurting. On Sunday I went to go for a walk about 4 times but then thought what the hell, fuck it I can't even make it around the block so why even bother and layed back down on my bed. My grandpa keeps telling me I need to walk around the block three times a day but he doesn't fucking understand I can barely walk around the block. My legs start hurting really badly and my breathing gets heavier. I try so hard to eat less but my stomach is stretched out so much I don't get full that easily. I try so hard to eat less but it never works. I have even started purging after I eat at times( I have ednos). I haven't in awhile but I think that is the only fucking way I'll be able to loose weight. I'm just sick and tired of this. When I see my shadow when I'm walking it makes me sick to my stomach on how fucking huge and fat I am. I just hate it so much.

I just feel like there is no fucking point in trying to loose weight. I feel hopeless and like there is no fucking point in go on in life this heavy. I look fucking disgusting and feel disgusting everything about me is just fat and fucking ugly has hell. I'd rather be dead then be this fat and that's where my thoughts have been going for awhile now. I feel like the only thing left to do is die.


Don't lose who you are, in the blur of the stars
Seeing is deceiving, dreaming is believing,
It's okay not to be okay
Sometimes it's hard, to follow your heart
Tears don't mean you're losing, everybody's bruising,
Just be true to who you are
|Member 2007||Senior Community Mentor||Social Media Guru||Resource & Newsletter Editor||Writer||Chat Mod|
|Forum Mod: LGBT, Sexuality and gender identity, Eating Disorders, Self-Harm, Peer Pressure and Bullying, Disability|
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Re: Helpless and Hopeless - February 13th 2013, 11:11 AM

Hi, Frankie

I'm really sorry about how you're feeling. I feel hopeless at times too because of my poor body image. So I understand how you feel a bit. Although purging is really unhealthy physically, so is comparing yourself to your sister or anyone else. I always compare myself to others, but the thing you gotta realize is that you're beautiful just the way you are. Some people, even beautiful girl actors are a little curvy, but they're beautiful in their own way. Everyone is, and so are you. You're more than just your looks.

Can I ask how come your legs hurt whenever you walk? Another exercise you could try is push-ups, sit-ups, maybe lift weights.

I know how difficult it can be to eat at times, and you just feel so guilty... So how about making that healthy so you feel better? Eat salads, veggies. Fruits for snacks, drink a lot of water and do exercises. Then after the day is over, treat yourself to a nice warm bath. Have some type of nice award for eating, and eating healthy and exercising at the end of the day to encourage you to do so.

Hope I helped. I'm here if you need someone to talk to! Remember you're a beautiful girl inside and out, don't you forget that.

Stay Strong <3

~ Christabel
   
  (#3 (permalink)) Old
_Headphones_ Offline
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Re: Helpless and Hopeless - February 13th 2013, 07:02 PM

Thank you. My legs start burning and hurting I think its because of my weight but I'm not positive. I will try and do other things but because of my weight some of them are really hard like push ups. I'll try to not put myself down but it's really hard. I know purging is bad for me and I haven't done it in awhile so that's a good thing. And thank you for replying


Don't lose who you are, in the blur of the stars
Seeing is deceiving, dreaming is believing,
It's okay not to be okay
Sometimes it's hard, to follow your heart
Tears don't mean you're losing, everybody's bruising,
Just be true to who you are
|Member 2007||Senior Community Mentor||Social Media Guru||Resource & Newsletter Editor||Writer||Chat Mod|
|Forum Mod: LGBT, Sexuality and gender identity, Eating Disorders, Self-Harm, Peer Pressure and Bullying, Disability|
|PM/VM|


   
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Re: Helpless and Hopeless - February 14th 2013, 03:07 AM

Oh, sorry to hear. Maybe talk to a doctor about healthy ways to lose weight? Yeah I know what you mean, some of those exercises are difficult.

It's good you haven't purged in awhile.

~ Christabel
   
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