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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
bigwheel Offline
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My team backstabbed me - February 15th 2013, 08:07 PM

I'm feeling really depressed because I'm in University, in my 2nd year and I've had the worst University experience I believe possible.

In my first year, my flatmates were incredibly loud and I struggled to complete the work on time because of them partying til 6am. My girlfriend lived 2 minutes away from me so I lent her the vacuum to clean her room and one of the guys went crazy at me for borrowing it.

So I promised myself that I'd do better in the 2nd year. Now, the second year is here and my new flatmates are just as bad. One of them has her boyfriend over 24/7 and she never cleans up. I cannot begin to tell you about the absolute disgusting state of the house due to her laziness - it's so bad.

Now, for University, I needed to get into a group, for a group project, so I got into a group and they appointed me as Team Manager so I took on the role and have been working my ass off when I received this email from one of the team members:


Quote:
Hi,

This Afternoon our group have had a look through the Project Plan that you have submitted up until this point, and we all agree that it still does not meet the minimum requirements of the project.

We have tried to guide you where possible, however the Project Plan document is still not complete, and it has gone past the due date for it.

In order for us to get this finished on time, Amber has decided to continue the Project Plan document as of today. In addition the team as a whole agree that we have not received much direction from yourself, and that the Project Manager Role will be best suited to someone else in the group.

We are still really positive about having you as a part of this project, and feel that your skills will play an important part - perhaps in the more technical aspects.

At the moment you don't need to worry about the Project Plan, and just concentrate on practising for the presentation.

See you next week!
I'm really depressed about it.

I've been working my butt off for 2 years and get no recognition and my team has de-moted me.

I don't want to work with them anymore.

I just don't understand why I seem to go through so much bad luck.
   
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Re: My team backstabbed me - February 15th 2013, 11:31 PM

Hey,

Firstly, can I apologise that it's taken a little while to get back to you - sometimes threads somehow end up slipping through without a response.

I'm also sorry that you're having such a rough time at the moment.

If your roommate(s) are unfairly leaving things to you, etc. then however awkward it is, I'd recommend having a chat and saying that you're unfortunately not happy with how they're leaving it and that you'd like them to take more responsibility for themselves and the flat overall.
I'll admit that there's quite a chance that they'll get annoyed, upset or both if you make that sort of comment, but it's sadly the only way that things have a chance of changing.

As for your group, I'm afraid that however unfair it may seem, things like that happen in life and you have to deal with them.

I'm aware that you don't want to hear this, but your team do probably genuinely want to do well and, if reassigning your role is going to, in their opinion, help their grades, they'll do it.
You can either look at it as them being out to get you and attacking you, which is not really particularly productive, or you can see it as an opportunity to learn and improve.
Given that university is a place of learning, I'd suggest that this latter outlook is probably the most useful for both you and your emotions as well as your group.

I'm not saying that your group is right to demote you seemingly without any prior nudges that they're dissatisfied, but you have to make the best of every circumstance and disliking them won't help. Pick yourself up and get over it, and see it as an opportunity to learn and grow and it will feel much better.

If you want to talk any more, please always feel free to PM me.


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Re: My team backstabbed me - February 16th 2013, 01:05 PM

Thanks. I just think I've been treated so badly..
   
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Adam the Fish Offline
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Re: My team backstabbed me - February 16th 2013, 03:07 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by bigwheel View Post
Thanks. I just think I've been treated so badly..
I'm afraid, though, I can't really do much about it.

You just have to try your best.


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Re: My team backstabbed me - February 16th 2013, 03:17 PM

I know how you feel about flatmates. Mine were the same when I was at uni, it was awful. The only thing I can say, is at least you don't have much longer of having to deal with them. Think of it as a means to an end - cheap accommodation until you finish uni and can afford to live with whoever you want. There seems to be something about students and being messy, dunno why, but it's just one of those things.
on to the team - Although it is really unfair that they didn't speak to you beforehand, the email is polite and it seems as though they genuinely want to work with you on this. Perhaps you could speak to the person that sent the email and ask for some pointers on what they think you could improve on in the future - it may feel like a bad experience now, but your team mates could have some really useful advice for you. Maybe you could think of this as having a break from responsibility,you said yourself you've been working your butt off, this way you can relax a little and let someone else take responsibility for a while.
I'm going to be really cliche now and say that every cloud has a silver lining, even if it's pouring rain and hailstorms on you at that moment.
   
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