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Depression and Suicide If you or a loved one is feeling depressed or suicidal, you are not alone. Talk with other users about your feelings here.

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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
Ella.x Offline
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Name: Ella
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I don't think I can do it anymore - February 17th 2013, 10:20 PM

My depression is hitting hard at the moment. I constantly think about suicide and I really can't think of any decent reasons not to kill myself. I can't work full time. I'm barely managing 3 shifts per week. Nothing makes sense. I've taken several small overdoses recently and am starting to stock up on medication for when the time comes. I don't know what to do. I can't afford to pay my rent because I can't work. everything is just too much. I cut before work today and my cuts bled through my jeans (luckily they were black). I feel like I'm losing my mind. I'm dissociating so much at the moment and my anxiety is basically preventing me from leaving my flat except for work. I can't sleep. Can anyone help? sorry if this doesnt make sense
   
  (#2 (permalink)) Old
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Re: I don't think I can do it anymore - February 17th 2013, 10:42 PM

I'm sorry that you are feeling this way, I've been feeling pretty much the same at the moment.

Just try to keep going. I know it's tough, but it won't be hard forever! Things get better, please don't end it all because right now things aren't going great! Do you talk to a therapist about your feelings and the way that it is effecting you? If not, I think that would probably be your best bet to overcoming this.

Maybe just try to set small goals for yourself a day. That's what I did, I wasn't going to any of my classes because of how bad I have been feeling, so I set a goal of just going to one a day, then managed to be able to get to all of them based on the fact that I had a goal for myself, and got out of my room!

Please try to stay strong and know that I am always here for you if you want or need to talk! <3


all i want is a place to call my own and
mend the hearts of everyone who feels alone,
woah,
you know to keep your hopes up high and your head down low.

<3
   
  (#3 (permalink)) Old
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Re: I don't think I can do it anymore - February 17th 2013, 10:49 PM

Please, oh, please do not hurt yourself.

Call the suicide hotline (1-800-273-8255). That's the US number...Google the England number if they are different.

Please, please, please don't do it. I don't know what drove you to this, but please don't kill yourself. Pray to God. Ask for help. He hears those that cry out to Him. Please don't end your life when it's only just beginning. Call some friends, call a counselor, call God--Call someone to help you breathe! Don't end your life; you have no idea what beautiful things you will miss! Just focus on living, one minute at a time.
I'm begging you. Don't do it. Please don't.
-Collies R Us


"Be strong and bold; have no fear or dread of them, because it is the LORD your God who goes with you; he will not fail you or forsake you." (Deut. 31:6 NRSV of the Bible)

Last edited by Collies R Us; February 17th 2013 at 11:48 PM.
   
  (#4 (permalink)) Old
Ella.x Offline
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Re: I don't think I can do it anymore - February 17th 2013, 11:00 PM

going to bed now. will talk to my therapist when i next see her. too much. really can't handle it
   
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Re: I don't think I can do it anymore - February 18th 2013, 12:39 AM

I'm sorry, love. I really do hope that your talk with your therapist helps you ! I know it's hard now, but there will be brighter days. Never give up! <3


all i want is a place to call my own and
mend the hearts of everyone who feels alone,
woah,
you know to keep your hopes up high and your head down low.

<3
   
  (#6 (permalink)) Old
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Re: I don't think I can do it anymore - February 18th 2013, 02:56 AM

I'm sorry Ella message me if you want to talk



The neon burns a hole in the night, and the Freon burns a hole in the sky.
You can find my kind living right on the fault line, eyes on the seaside, lives on the B-side, kites on the power lines.
   
  (#7 (permalink)) Old
Ella.x Offline
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Re: I don't think I can do it anymore - February 18th 2013, 12:04 PM

Still feeling horrible. I honestly don't know how much longer I can handle this. I'm trying to apply for social housing because otherwise I'll be homeless within a few months, but the form is 20 pages long and it's so freaking overwhelming. I've been crying all morning. I can't see a way out of this.
   
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Re: I don't think I can do it anymore - February 18th 2013, 09:32 PM

I know it's rough, I've been there as well. But it will get better! You have to stay strong and take small steps each day. <3


all i want is a place to call my own and
mend the hearts of everyone who feels alone,
woah,
you know to keep your hopes up high and your head down low.

<3
   
  (#9 (permalink)) Old
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Re: I don't think I can do it anymore - February 20th 2013, 09:20 AM

Hi, Ella.

I'm so sorry about what's going on. But I can tell you that things do get better. You have to remind yourself that things won't always be so bad! Rainbows always come after the storm.

Suicide isn't the answer... It hurts not only you, but everyone around you. Please, you say that you don't have any decent reasons not to? Well consider this post a sign that you're meant to live. Throw those pills out you've been stocking up on, do it for me. I know it may not seem like it at some times but I can promise you that someone in real life cares about you. Imagine what your suicide would do to them. You may not think of yourself as special but I know someone else does. We're someone's somebody.

If you feel suicidal, please call a hotline or 911.

About your form, how long do you have to fill it out?
Have you talked to your counselor yet?

Can you talk to co-workers/friends/family members/your parents about how you're feeling? Sometimes it can be hard to open up, but once you do it can actually help to have someone listen and just generally have someone to open up to. Read over this thread:

Click

Sleep is also pretty important, it especially contributes to your mood as well. How about trying some boring reading, chamomile tea, make sure the room is dark and don't use electronics for at least an hour before bed? Warm milk can also help relax you. Make sure your bed is nice and cozy too so you're comfortable. Something else to remember, always remind yourself that whatever thoughts are keeping you up, push them aside by reminding yourself you need to sleep and you can deal with them when you wake up. You don't have to figure anything out at that moment.

About your Self-Harm. Self-Harm doesn't help you in the long run, it's best not to do it because it becomes addictive and brings more negative feelings into the picture. Plus the scars are pretty hard to cover up. Recovery is the best choice, although it may seem very hard and impossible right now, it is possible. You have to decide you wanna recover before you actually can though, choosing to is the first step. You gotta realize you truly are worth it. Here is the Self-Harm Alternatives (Click)

Click

Distractions during depression and sadness are pretty good. Everyone needs a change of routine.

- Volunteer
- Go for a walk/run
- Go biking
- Go out with friends/co-workers
- Call up friends or family members
- Go see a movie
- Cuddle with pets
- Bake cookies and nice treats
- Watch TV/Movies
- Read
- Play Games
- Listen to music
- Draw
- Paint
- Write down your feelings in a journal
- Write a poem or short story that expresses your feelings

Doing anything you enjoy even if you don't feel like it can get you up and moving which is good. Another thing, outside activities or even keeping your window shades open during the day can help you because sunlight naturally induces chemicals in your brain that helps produce positive emotions.

Read over these threads if you can.

Click

Click

I want you to know that I do think you can over come depression. But you have to choose to recover, which is hard, I know. Though it's so worth it in the end. Just try your best to think happy peaceful thoughts, imagine yourself in a nice green land full of beautiful butterflies, anything that puts you in a peaceful state of mind. Each day, write down on a piece of paper, a list of the things that made you sad, may it be a thought or something that happened, then a list of things that made you happy or made you smile. Put them in a list, positive at the top, negative at the bottom. Rip the paper in half and keep the positives somewhere and scribble over the negatives. Keep them though, then on a bad day you can read over the positive things that have happened in the past and reminisce better days. To always remind yourself that you can get past anything with time and still be able to smile. You're a very strong person, Ella. A very beautiful one too, that deserves to be happy.

Happiness is possible to obtain. You've gotta look towards the future and all the possibilities out there waiting for you to explore. Like marriage, children, so many beautiful and amazing experiences that'd be a shame to miss out on. You have so much to offer. You're special and worth it. Please hang in there, things will get better hun. It'll all be okay in the end, if it's not okay than it's not the end. Hope I helped a bit. You can PM/VM me anytime if you need someone to talk to, I'd love to listen.

Stay Strong <3
   
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