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Speckled Gecko Offline
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Name: Sophie
Age: 25
Gender: Female
Location: England

Posts: 66
Join Date: January 14th 2012

Unhappy On the brink - February 19th 2013, 09:43 PM

This thread has been labeled as triggering, particularly on the subject of suicide, by the original poster or by a Moderator. The contents of this thread therefore might not be suitable for certain sensitive users. Please take this into consideration before continuing to read.

Right, so I wasn't going to post this, but I seriously don't know what else to do. I don't even know what to say, so i'm probably just going to end up saying too much and regretting it. If you are annoyed by me, i completely understand and i fully expect some people to tell me to just shut up and quit whining. So if you still want to read, thank you.

Okay, basically i just want to be gone. I don't see my existence as anything more than an annoyance to everyone. There is not one thing that is good about me. My friends and family are only nice to me because they feel like they have to be. My wellbeing person is only kind because its her job. I am going to fail at everything. I am the ugliest person in existence. I can't control my SH anymore. There is absolutely nothing good about me- i'm not just saying that, i cannot think of anything positive. And now, by posting this, i've annoyed anyone that might not have developed that opinion about me already.
The only reason I haven't put an end to it all already is because i don't want my last action to be causing hassle to more people, like the coroner.

Ugh, I'm so sorry. I know this sounds really angry, but i'm not angry at anyone except myself!!
Thanks if anyone's read this, and sorry.
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Re: On the brink - February 19th 2013, 11:14 PM

Hi, Sophie. This is how I think of it when you say that there's nothing good about you:

I'm not annoyed by you! I think you're amazing. Nobody has the right to tell you to shut up. Because what you're feeling is very sad that you feel this way, but they are your feelings and nobody has the right to belittle them.

I have an opinion about you... My opinion is that you're an amazing person that doesn't know just how amazing you are. I know how hard it can be to have a positive self-image about yourself as I struggle with that as well. So how about taking baby steps towards feeling better about yourself. Every little step contributes. Look in the mirror everyday, and try to pick out at least one thing you like about yourself. Your eyes, your lips, your eyebrows, your hair, your teeth, your smile, something. When you're talking with others or you do something silly, take time to realize it and be happy you did it because it's so... You. It makes you, You. Learn to look past your imperfections because nobody is perfect. We're all beautiful perfect imperfections. You are amazing too.

Self-Harm... You don't deserve to have to do that to yourself. Another step is realizing that you are worth it. You have to believe that before you can recover. Look at the Self-Harm Alternatives list. Self-Harm brings more negative feelings into the picture than it helps. The scars begin to build up and just makes you feel more negativity towards yourself. However, as the days drag on when you don't self-harm, feeling proud of yourself is a much better feeling and accomplishment. Recovery is possible, but the road has relapses and you have to know that relapses are okay. They happen. Choose recovery.

You can PM/VM me anytime! You're a special person.

Stay Strong <3
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