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Depression and Suicide If you or a loved one is feeling depressed or suicidal, you are not alone. Talk with other users about your feelings here.

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irrele Offline
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Unhappy I feel like i'm at the end. - February 25th 2013, 11:14 PM

everday feels like a step closer to getting a knife and finishing my life... everytime i try to do anything i just get overwhelmed with this random sadness that stops in my tracks reminding me how much of a failure i am that i don't deserve to live i'm a waste of everyone's time and would be better off dead.

i tried for 3 years to fight this feeling away but now it's just. i feel like i have nothing left.


hide those feelings behind that mask and show them the things they can't hurt !
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Re: I feel like i'm at the end. - February 26th 2013, 04:05 AM

Hi, Luke! It's me, Christabel again

I'm really sorry you're feeling this way. I don't believe you're a failure at all. By the way, everyone deserves to live, everyone's here for a reason and has a purpose, which means you too. There's nobody else in the world that is exactly like you in every way possible, of course similar but you're unique and one of a kind. You're special. Sometime in life, you'll find someone who loves you for who you are. And that's exactly what you deserve, you'll eventually find that life is worth living. Because all the things we go through that's difficult, makes us better for it. You're gaining strength in weakness. Don't give up, hang on because I believe there's lots of people who love you a lot and it's just hard to see. Suicide isn't the answer, it throws away all your chances at a better future and hurts everyone around you. Don't you wanna get past this and be happy? That's possible with the healer of time and love, let people in, face your fears, do something you've never done before. It's never too late to be brand new. In this rubble that is depression, rebuild everything, one brick at a time. Keep a door in your heart open.

How about trying new things? Take up some new hobbies. And distractions and doing other things could help you to feel a little better. Like writing your feelings in a journal, writing short stories and poems that relate to you and expresses your feelings. Or doing arts and crafts, listening to music, watching TV/Movies, playing games, going for walks or runs. Go biking, go to the cinema, go out with friends or just go out and meet entirely new people. Do anything fun and do things you enjoy. Or new things because exploring your interests will help you find yourself. Drawing and painting is also very cool. Another thing, outside activities would be great, or even when you're inside, keep a window open for sunlight because the sun induces a natural chemical in your brain that helps you produce more positive emotions.

Is there anyone you can talk to about this? Like a friend, your relatives or parents, maybe a therapist? A good support system could do you some good.

Hope I helped a bit. I also hope you feel better. Keep in mind that you can PM/VM me anytime! I don't always know what to say but I can definitely listen.

Stay Strong <3
   
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Re: I feel like i'm at the end. - February 27th 2013, 06:30 PM

thanks for the response but i don't think it's true. today my mum calls me up to say how selfish i am for not getting rent yet (a day after i usually do) and then comes home and says how horrible and selfish i am because i didn't thank her for buying bread. well some weeks ago she said "if you need bread tell me" so since then i haven't said i needed it and i'm expected to be grateful for something she knows i don't need and blames it on me. she tells me she can't take how rude i am to her when i didn't say anything disrespectful at all, because i didn't say anything. i hate my life and it's better to just go, she blames her bad life on me and it's probably true.


hide those feelings behind that mask and show them the things they can't hurt !
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Re: I feel like i'm at the end. - February 28th 2013, 10:31 PM

Sorry to hear about your relationship with your mom. Although, you don't have to believe what she says because you know, sometimes when people are angry or upset a lot, they take it out on the nearest person. How about standing up to her? Explaining how this makes you feel and tell her it's not fair how she treats you?
   
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Re: I feel like i'm at the end. - March 1st 2013, 10:19 AM

Ugh, that's horrible. Maybe you could try moving out?
   
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Re: I feel like i'm at the end. - March 4th 2013, 09:36 AM

idk... i got my knife and told her im leaving so she called the police... i waited to see the doctor and he gave me anti depressants and when she saw me in the streets she asked me to come home so i entertained her but when i was there my gran was there and she was nothing but horrible to me about the whole thing calling me selfish and stupid and saying that i talk in circles... They both say i talk in circles but i keep trying to explain to them what i'm saying until i get a response from them that shows they understand but they never do... so i gave up on explaining anything to them they both have the same flaw that they never learnt to understand, they just take the parts that they want to hear and ignore the parts they don't. my mum said i belong at the top floor of the qmc (crazy people ward) because people that self harm are retarded and crazy but she's just ignorant. And it just turns out she wants me to give her money rather than caring about my well being. but whatever i guess it just proves the point that i shouldn't be in this world


hide those feelings behind that mask and show them the things they can't hurt !
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Re: I feel like i'm at the end. - March 5th 2013, 02:13 AM

Hey? You can't let others make you believe that you shouldn't be in this world, got that? Nobody has to right to say that because we're all supposed to be on this earth. We all have a purpose and some people go on the wrong path. You're meant to live. You won't always be around your mother. You have the future, the chance to be happy. Don't let her ruin that.

Stay Strong <3
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