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Depression and Suicide If you or a loved one is feeling depressed or suicidal, you are not alone. Talk with other users about your feelings here.

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Name: Ella
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??? - February 26th 2013, 06:16 PM

I'm not really sure why I'm posting this, but I'm in a pretty bad way right now. The depression is overwhelming. I've overdosed 3 times in the last 3 weeks (didn't go to hospital) and am planning to again tomorrow. I'm self harming a lot. I even carved words into my skin which I haven't done in years. I carved the word help :/ I have nobody to talk to. No-one knows how bad I am. I don't know whether I want to get better of if I just want to die. I'm so tired of fighting it. I don't even feel like a real person anymore. I am nothing. I just want to fade away.
   
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Re: ??? - February 26th 2013, 09:19 PM

Hi, Ella!

I'm sorry about the things you're going through. I think it'd be a good idea if you threw away the pills, because they can seriously permanently damage your organs. How about going and doing something relaxing for you? Like a bubble bath and a coffee or something, or go for a relaxing walk. It's good to do when you feel bad. Has a nice refreshing feeling to it. Why don't you take up a new hobby as a distraction?

Can you call a depression/suicide hotline?

You can talk to me anytime, Ella. You're a beautiful person and I hate seeing you go through this. I do want you to know that things do get better though. I don't know how long it'll be, but it happens. Recovery is worth living for. You've been through so much... Please don't give up now. There's people here that know you have the strength and are here for you every step of the way. Hold on, the storm ends.

Stay Strong <3
   
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Re: ??? - February 27th 2013, 05:53 PM

Thanks for the reply. I didn't overdose today. I don't have enough pills. I see my care coordinator tomorrow and my therapist and then psychiatrist on friday so hopefully at least one of them will have an idea of what to do. I went for a walk today and then spent some time with a friend. I still feel completely hopeless though.
   
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Re: ??? - February 28th 2013, 10:32 PM

Okay, I hope it goes well with them. Glad you went for a walk! How about doing that some more?
   
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