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This thread has been labeled as triggering, particularly on the subject of suicide, by the original poster or by a Moderator. The contents of this thread therefore might not be suitable for certain sensitive users. Please take this into consideration before continuing to read.
I made a plan to end it all last night and I did not even have the guts to follow through with it. I am such a failure, I can't do anything right
All I want is this pain to stop!!! I want the nightmares to STOP! I can take it anymore. I can't sleep at night. I have not been to school in two days. I don't know what to do. I am loosing the will to live. I DON'T want to live like this. In pain every single day.
I'm sorry about all you're struggling with. However, you created a plan but couldn't go through with it. That proves you know suicide isn't the right thing to do. Inside, deep inside, you know you can make it through this, you just have to fully realize it. Those feelings deep inside made you not go through with it. You aren't a failure for that, you're a survivor. Suicide hurts more than just you, it hurts everyone around you. There's just... There's so much more to life than how you're feeling right now. You have a future, the chance to be happy. Sure the road is bumpy, but the treasure at the end is so worth it. You also come out so much stronger than ever, with every small feeling you pass by and get over, you gain strength. You're so much better for it.
Is there anyone you can talk to? The nightmares could be PTSD. Have you spoken to a therapist? Anyone you could talk to? It could help you a lot. Your school counselor? Friends? Family members?
Remember that life is bumpy at times, but worth it for all the good things. This pain isn't all there is to life ya' know. It's possible to get through, you can make it through. I believe in you. Keep hope alive. I'm here if you need a friend. You can E-Mail me at purplechristabel@yahoo.com