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Depression and Suicide If you or a loved one is feeling depressed or suicidal, you are not alone. Talk with other users about your feelings here.

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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
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How do you fight it alone? - March 5th 2013, 05:21 AM

I've had depression since middle school.... today, I'm 22 years old, surviving, finally moved to a big city to achieve my dreams... and I'm crippled. I've been hospitalized twice, to no avail. I had to drop out of college because I couldn't do it. And then I moved to the big city, when I realized I wasn't ready to go back to school, because I hoped that being in a place where I could try to achieve my dreams would help. But it doesn't. Every day hurts. Every motion hurts. Everything is just an attempt for me to survive to the next day... and I don't see a reason. I don't see a purpose. Everything is me surviving so the people who love me so dearly don't hurt. And I don't want to hurt them, I don't. But I can't survive like this.... I can't keep fighting like this. How do you fight so hard for so many years when you don't have anything worth fighting that hard for? How do you survive when you have nothing that makes you WANT to survive?
   
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Re: How do you fight it alone? - March 5th 2013, 06:45 AM

Hi, Anna,

For your question... You survive because deep inside, we all know life is worth living. Depression is a part of life, so is happiness. Sometimes they're balanced, sometimes they aren't. You may get more sadness right now, and that's not fair at all. But at some point in the future, that cycle has to break, you can break through. You live for others because you don't want them to hurt? There you go, live for people because you're loved.

All you're dealing with right now, keep in mind that you have the future. You can achieve your dreams and be so much happier. Life is scary, but worth it. Don't forget that. You know, you have a purpose. Many. You have the choice, the chance, the opportunity to achieve your dreams, date, marry, and have children. There's so many amazing moments in between as well. Where you'll realize that life is worth living, you'll be so happy you decided to keep on living instead of going through with suicide. You can create life, think about that for a minute, amazing, right? With someone you love. If you have a child, you get to hold him/her for the first time, that child will look in your eyes, smile and hold your hand, your own creation of life, that beautiful little person. Don't give that up.

This is easier said than done, but to recover from depression, you have to wanna recover. Take it one day at a time, in small steps. Look at the smallest positives in a day and focus on them. Think of the littlest things that made you feel happy or made you smile. Look in old photo albums, see you and your family smiling and happy. Think back at good memories where you were happy and remind yourself you can have that again.

Distractions and fun things can help, even if you don't feel like doing them, do them anyway. Depression doesn't want you to do anything so fight against that. It'll get you up and moving. Go to the cinema, go out with friends, go out to eat, go biking, do a sport, watch tv/movies, listen to music, play games, draw, paint, take up beading or knitting, do arts and crafts, digital art, photography. Anything you enjoy or anything new. It's good to explore different things, even trying a new food or something you've never tried. New things is new, which is good. =) Even like buy a new necklace or bracelet, collect jewelry. Look at new clothes.

Any outside activities in the sun can be really helpful. Even if you're inside during the day, make sure the window shades are open for sunlight to get in. Because the sunlight naturally increases a chemical in your brain that helps induce positive emotions. So going for walks or runs can help and also be really refreshing. Also, do something for you. Like take a nice relaxing bath, have a nice treat you enjoy, eat your favorite food.

Write poems or just write down all your feelings in a journal to express yourself. Write about each day, the positive feelings you felt and what you've gotten through. Like a diary. I've found that a happy colored room helps too. Make sure your room is brightly colored, put up a pretty calender with beautiful or cute pictures in each month, have cute/pretty posters and pictures up. Put inspiring quotes on your mirrors or pin it to your door. Get a pet, like a kitten or a puppy. Something little, soft and cuddly. Pets make you feel really nice and pets are a great companionship.

Physical things can play a role in your mood as well, such as your diet, sleep and such. Make sure you eat healthy and get enough sleep. If you're having issues with either, feel free to ask for tips on getting to sleep better and healthy foods. I Google a lot.

By the way, struggling with depression and overcoming it is hard to do alone. Of course there's steps you have to make first before you can get help but you need to talk to someone. Whether it be a family member, your parents, siblings, friends, a therapist. It's important to talk to someone and have a stable support system. If telling someone face to face is too hard, you can write it in a letter or text/e-mail.

I hope I helped. I just want you to know that life is beautiful, you're here for a reason. You deserve to live to life because happiness and success is a possible destination. Feel free to contact me if you need someone to listen, if you need a friend. You seem like a person I'd like to become friends with. Remember you are special. You can get through this, keep hope, keep faith. You gain strength in every weak moment. Empower yourself.

Stay Strong <3
   
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Re: How do you fight it alone? - March 5th 2013, 09:40 PM

Anna,

I feel like reading my own stories when reading your post. I have had depression since i was 16, today I am 21 years old. Feel exactly the same, and ask myself these same questions everyday. How do I fight it alone in this battle that I can never win.

But I still live for the same reason you do, so that people who love us are not hurt my our actions. I think that's what makes me linger here. Try living one day at a time, it is not easy but in this circumstance it helps me to go through each day being less occupied with the thought that I have no future.

You are not alone


These walls that I can't break down...
   
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Re: How do you fight it alone? - March 6th 2013, 02:21 AM

Hi, You do not have to fight it alone, reaching out for help is a big part in recovery. I know it is incredibly difficult and seems like no one would want to help you, but they do. I too have been in the struggle since 16 (21 now) so I have an idea where you are coming from. Suicide is not the answer even though it feels like the only option. Your are important, your story is important. You can make it through this. Keep fighting and things will get better for you if you put forth the effort. After feeling that way for so long it becomes familiar and change is scary. Like others have said, I definitely recommend seeking a counselor or therapist as a first step. You can do this!


"Our greatest weakness lies in giving up. The most certain way to succeed is always to try just one more time." - Thomas Edison

TWLOHA
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Re: How do you fight it alone? - March 7th 2013, 12:45 PM

I still believe we are born not to be all alone, and it makes me say we should not fight alone, having someone who will guide and support us is one of the best way in dealing any problem we may encounter. We just need to open up our selves to others.
   
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