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Babycakes Offline
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WOAH, Sometimes, I get a feeling... - March 15th 2013, 05:54 PM

Do you know when you have a crush on someone and you get that feel of butterflies in your stomach? Do you know when you're deeply in-love with someone and you feel that you messed it up somehow and you get that feeling of guilt in your stomach?

Well for about the past 2 months I've had both those feelings in my stomach all day, everyday. It's getting to the point where it obstructs me from my daily activities. It literally hurts to wake up in the morning because I wake up to this feeling. I don't know what it is, I'm not deeply in-love with anyone nor am I crushing on anyone. I know that those are the feelings because I've had them before. It's like a constant anxiety, only I'd much rather my normal anxiety over this.

I literally can't stand it anymore. No matter what I do, I still feel this way. Tried taking meds, tried talking to people, tried everything. I'm not so much depressed anymore to the point where I want to kill myself, but soon enough this feeling is going to push me over the edge. Waking up to this in the morning is exhausting, feels like I have a broken heart, feels like I just lost someone that meant a lot to me. Feels like complete shit, I don't know what to do. I've been having crazy dreams where I'll literally die in them. Like usually you wake up before you die? Me, nope, I feel the pain, the happiness of letting go and I feel my body drift away and I get really warm and move on to the next dream and remember it later on that day.

This feeling, is slowly degrading me. I can't eat, I can't sleep properly. I haven't had a proper meal in weeks. I've lost a lot of weight, I look gross. I don't want to kill myself because I hate my life, I got over that. I want to kill myself because WOAH, sometimes, I get a feeling...


edit: I guess I should mention, seconds after writing this, I tried drinking a glass of water and immediately my body rejected it. I just woke up, so maybe that could contribute. But I haven't eaten much in a couple days, so I wasn't really puking out anything aside from yellow shit? Not quite sure what that is, but it wasn't pleasant. I'm also going to mention it was ice cold coming out of my body. Normally, not that I really notice, but I definitely noticed this time, puke is usually warm. But no, this shit was ice cold. Now I can't stop shaking, great.

edit2: I've done some research on the 'symptoms' i'm feeling, rejecting food, increased dizziness, feeling weak, have to urinate lots, nausea and more. I've come to the assumption that I have diabetes. I'm not healthy, so I could understand. I made a doctors appointment for next thursday, let's hope I make it until then.. I mean, I've had all these symptoms for a very long time, it's just getting quite bad lately.

Last edited by Babycakes; March 15th 2013 at 06:27 PM.
   
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Re: WOAH, Sometimes, I get a feeling... - March 15th 2013, 06:43 PM

Thats weird, the same thing happened to me last month and it lasted for like 2 weeks. i couldnt eat anything without gagging or puking and i ended up losing like 15 pounds in those 2 weeks. im no doctor but i dont thinks thats healthy. i am pretty sure it happened to me from anxiety and depression. it just took some time to pass, nothing really helped. anyways i hope you feel better and its nothing serious!
   
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Re: WOAH, Sometimes, I get a feeling... - March 16th 2013, 12:28 AM

This is really bad, I'm sorry to hear this. You are young and it's really not healthy what is happening to you. There is no reason to be depressed I'm sure. I don't know what advice I could give you but try to see the good things in your day. There is so much things outside and only wait to find them. Don't give up. I'm sure there are a lot of people who told you things like this but they are right 100%. Maybe you have to try some other doctor who could help you because life is good and you don't have to waste it Good luck with everything!
   
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Re: WOAH, Sometimes, I get a feeling... - March 16th 2013, 12:50 AM

Hey, Aiden.

I'm really sorry about how you're feeling. It must be really hard for you, I've had those feelings during a relationship but don't have them as often, so I'm sorry. I really am. It's definitely not healthy what you're experiencing. I do want you to know that even during things like this, there's always hope. Things have a way of getting better.

Can I ask something? Do you do much in life? I know that the same ol' routines can really get you in a bad cycle of depression. Have you tried doing something new, like taking up a hobby, getting outside, doing outside activities and such? Meeting new people? Something that cheers me up, is pets. They're a great companionship and they're cuddly. Plus it'd be good to have something dependent on you.

You say you've talked to someone about this before? Could you talk to a therapist again, and let them know that you've still got this feeling? Maybe they could try something different or suggest something different since it's clearly still there. Have you lost a relationship in the past? Sometimes feelings can come back up later from missing someone so much. Trust me, happened to me even after like 3-5 months later.

Again, I'm so sorry you feel like this. Please remind yourself that there's hope in the worst times. There's always a way for things to get better. Sometimes it takes time and work, but it's always possible. There's a rainbow after the storm. And hey, you can message me anytime if you need someone to talk to. I can't promise I'll know what to say, but I can surely listen.

You can do this,
Don't lose hope,
Don't give up,

Stay Strong <3
   
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