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carwreckblonde Offline
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Name: vicki
Age: 25
Gender: Female
Location: scotland

Posts: 140
Join Date: February 12th 2012

Never felt so low in my life. - March 19th 2013, 11:57 PM

I've never felt so low in my entire life. And there's been times that I thought I'd never bounce back but I did. This time is different. I can't escape these horrible memories. I can't handle the thoughts that flood my mind. Everything has just fallen apart completely. The difference is I can't control it anymore. I'm sick to death of putting a fake smile on for everyone to see. They don't understand how low I really feel and never will. I've started cutting again. I'm so dissapointed in myself. I hadn't in 5 months. The feeling I used to get from doing it is gone. There will never be an escape will there? I don't deserve to be here. It's finally sinked in. Can't I just can't go on like this.
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Re: Never felt so low in my life. - March 20th 2013, 02:10 AM

Hey, hun!

I'm really sorry you're feeling like this, Vicki. I know how you feel, I feel like that quite a lot. And something I've found out from experience is that Self-Harm doesn't help long-term as an escape from bad thoughts. You've went 5 months, that's pretty amazing. Be proud of yourself. Something you could do to escape, is to take up a new hobby, do something different, get out of the house, meet new people, go out with friends. That's the best way to get yourself moving and to cheer yourself up. Can you try that, or have you already? I've found that sitting around tangled in my thoughts doesn't help at all, but doing something fun gets me moving and feeling happier instead. That's a healthy escape. I also listen to music or play games. Is it alright if I ask if you've talked with a therapist about this?

Hey umm... I know that when you're feeling so horrible like this, you lose sight of yourself and important things like knowing you do deserve to be here. You're here for a reason. You're unique and special, one of a kind. Every life means so much and is just amazing, including you of course. And hey, things do get better even when they seem like they won't. Sometimes when you're so depressed, it just feels so endless and like it'll be forever, like those times you thought you wouldn't bounce back, but you did. See, right now you feel like you won't bounce back, just like back then, right? But things still got better back then, no reason they can't now. I believe that all those other times in the past have made you stronger, just like this time will. I know it's hard, but you've still got the future and so many other chances and great opportunities will come around. So many new and amazing experiences worth living for. Recovery's possible. Don't give up, keep fighting. You can do this.

Feel free to PM/VM me if you need someone to talk to. I can listen.

Stay Strong <3
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