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Name: Alex
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It's been 5 years and life keeps getting worse - March 20th 2013, 12:00 AM

I've been depressed for a 5 years now. I keep thinking it will get better but it only gets worse. It's getting really hard to keep living, everyday leads to me causing myself harm or crying wanting to die. I'm basically a failure at everything I do. I don't fit in anywhere, I've tried to meet new people but it never works. Only one person knows how depressed I am. I've been bullied since I was 5. The only thing that makes the pain go away for a little bit is alcohol.

I don't really know how to put everything into words but when things get a little better then the next day I'm back wanting to die.

I just don't belong, I'm just taking up space.
   
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Re: It's been 5 years and life keeps getting worse - March 20th 2013, 02:33 AM

Hi, Alex.

I'm sorry you feel like this. Can you tell the principle about the kids bullying you? And maybe talk to the school counselor, a teacher or your parents about how you're feeling? Writing it in a note or letter may help.

Have you tried to do something different? Like a change in routine, take up a new hobby? Play games, watch movies/tv, read, listen to music, draw, paint, do arts and crafts. Or write down your feelings in a journal or write poems to express yourself better. Taking walks, doing outside activities can help as well. The sun naturally increases a chemical to induce positive emotions. So maybe it could help a little?

Even though it's been awhile, please don't turn away on thinking things get better. Because they do get better and the future brings new things to make things better. Things can't possibly stay the same. Something always breaks.

Hey, feel free to message me anytime if you need someone to talk to, okay? I don't always know what to say but I can listen. Hope I helped a bit. Don't give up, ever.

Stay Strong <3
   
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Re: It's been 5 years and life keeps getting worse - March 20th 2013, 10:34 AM

I completely get how you feel and I know that when it's been going on for what sees a life time (I've been struggling like yourself for nearly 8 years) it can become physically and mentally exhausting and it can wipe away all the hope you have. But it can get better. Recovery is possible. People go through depression for long times and get through the other end so if other people can do it, then why can't you? You're a good person and you deserve the best and I know it's hard for you right now and that it seems endless and dark but it's not always going to be this way. There are going to be good days and bad days and maybe right now there are more bad than good, but over time, there will become more good until there are very few bad, okay? You can get through this.

Do you have any help or support back help? Either from friends, family or health professionals such as your doctor or a psychiatric nurse? If so, do you find them helpful? if not, do you think this is something you could perhaps look into? Having a support system in place can be really helpful and is something I really encourage you to do.

Stay fighting and remember you are not alone in this, okay?


"Only in the dark, can you see the stars..."
Josie 12/3/2014, always in my heart. Sue 19/2/2016; Peter, Ellie, Hannah, Andy, Kirtsie RIP.

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