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bee Offline
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I'm done. - March 22nd 2013, 04:17 PM

This thread has been labeled as triggering, particularly on the subject of suicide, by the original poster or by a Moderator. The contents of this thread therefore might not be suitable for certain sensitive users. Please take this into consideration before continuing to read.

I'm done with this pathetic existance...
Gave it 19 years, that's enough time.
I'm so fed up of being in constant pain. I have regular yeast infections with no underlying cause which are severely painful. Drs don't know why and I'm resistant to the medication that cures it. I have a trapped nerve in my back which is sometimes so painful I can hardly get up to go to the bathroom. I have bad knees which prevent me from walking sometimes. I have constant ear problems which could lead me to go deaf. Also got bad eye problems and am worried that I'll probably go blind. Got nerve damage in various places which is a hinderance...
I'm so fed up of waking up every day and being disappointed I didn't die in my sleep. I'm so severely depressed and anxious and it just doesn't respond to anything. I have panic attacks at least every week. The doctors wont give me any support, but I had therapy for 4 years and it did literally nothing. I can't go on medication due to underlying health issues.
I have no friends and never really did. I can't even have sex with my boyfriend because no contraception is suitable for me. Condoms are too painful, the pill's hormones don't agree with me, the injection and implant release aforementioned hormones, can't get the coil because I have metal allergies... can't even orgasm now because I can't have oral sex and fingering doesn't do anything for me.
I just don't see the point anymore. My life is fucking over at just 19 and totally pointless.

sooner or later though, you always have to w a k e u p

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Collies R Us Offline
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Re: I'm done. - March 22nd 2013, 05:25 PM

I'm sorry. I can't even imagine what you've been through. All I can tell you is hang in there. I'll pray for your healing.
"He said to her, "Daughter, your faith has made you well; go in peace, and be healed of your disease." Mark 5:34 (NRSV)
God bless.
- Collies R Us

"Be strong and bold; have no fear or dread of them, because it is the LORD your God who goes with you; he will not fail you or forsake you." (Deut. 31:6 NRSV of the Bible)
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Re: I'm done. - March 28th 2013, 02:32 AM

Hi there!

I am so sorry about everything. I cannot begin to imagine how difficult some of those things must be for you. How about talking to your boyfriend about how all this makes you feel? Try and hold on for him? Or speak to family/friends about this? Saying it through a letter could make it easier.

Could you do things and relax, like listen to music, draw, paint, play games, watch tv/movies or take up a hobby such as arts and crafts, beading? Something you can do sitting down and just be able to relax?

Keep in mind that things you're going through right now, such as feelings, aren't forever. And the medical problems may be possible to cure. You never know. Don't lose faith, we'll be praying for you. <3 I'm here if you need someone to talk to.

Stay Strong <3
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