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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
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Getting more from my life? - March 24th 2013, 01:02 AM

How do I do it?
Day in, day out, I go to school, come home, sit on PC, go to bed, and repeat.
On days off, it's the same, minus the school part.
I try to make excuses to myself as to why I've wasted another day; "Oh it was raining", "I woke up too late", or something else that half-heartedly gives me an excuse to continue my ways.

I'm not an outgoing person. Far from it to be quite honest.
I don't feel comfortable in social situations, nor do I feel happy in them.
Meaning I don't have much desire to go out like most people my age.
It also means I can have some trouble fitting in.

I seem to have a bias towards people, a hatred almost. It frustrates me, because no matter how hard I try, I always notice peoples' flaws more than anything and that makes it difficult to befriend them and become liked.
Something, I suppose we all long for.

This all depresses greatly, and is a huge cause for me wanting to say goodbye and just leave. I feel I can't break this trend and that it will subsequently affect me in the long run, or wont change at all.
I fear my adult life will drag on, be a chore, and for the most part, be pretty much the same as it is now.
I don't feel I have any reason to want to live, I don't feel I have a purpose, a cause, or any kind of calling.

Ontop of this I have quite a few personal problems which don't exactly help my feelings as of now. I'd love if those problems were temporary, but that doesn't go my way, unfortunately.

The only reason I'm still around as of now is because of a few people I care too much to leave. In the end though, it comes down to me, and I know that. I fear that one day I'll just decide enough is enough and go for it.

Basically here, I'm not looking for any sympathy, or any kind of reasoning as to why I shouldn't do it.
I want to know how can I change this? How can I better myself, and feel happy while doing?
What gets you through your day?

If you stuck right through to the end of this, thanks for reading. Even if you don't reply, it's nice to know someone took the time to read my ramblings.
  (#2 (permalink)) Old
Collies R Us Offline
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Re: Getting more from my life? - March 24th 2013, 02:57 PM

Just try to reach out to someone a little at a time, day by day. You can increase the socializing each day or week so that you get better at it. Kinda like running a mile...You try to be faster and better every time you do it. Maybe if you meet these goals, reward yourself. But if you don't meet them, please don't punish yourself; that'll just lead to self pity.
God gets me through my day. I mean, I'll just talk to Him if I'm freaking out or bored or feeling excluded, etc, etc. I had to leave my classroom once and go outside in the rain to make sense of another suicide that hit my class. I probably looked like I was talking to myself, but oh well.
Hope this helped. Goals...maybe they do work?
- Collies R Us

"Be strong and bold; have no fear or dread of them, because it is the LORD your God who goes with you; he will not fail you or forsake you." (Deut. 31:6 NRSV of the Bible)
  (#3 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Getting more from my life? - March 27th 2013, 08:26 AM

Hey, Shaun.

I am sorry you go through this. I'm the same in real life. I don't feel happy in social situations. Honestly, I think the best thing you can do is push yourself into social situations, spend time with friends even if you don't feel like it. Maybe sometime you'll find yourself enjoying it? And those you're close to, I think it'd really help you to tell them how you feel. Keeping yourself closed up can really start to have anger build up, which makes the hatred. Maybe a new hobby would work in finding yourself? Sports? A new job? Biking maybe? Another thing, writing your feelings in a journal/notepad may help to express yourself. Writing poems may help as well. And writing your feelings in a note and giving it to someone you wanna tell about this can make it easier.

Another thing, I know you don't wanna hear this, and you may not even believe it, but please don't let yourself sink so low to ending your life. The way things are right now probably won't change tomorrow, but it can change. Hard times in life aren't permanent. And I think everyone feels lost and without purpose at some point in their lives, the point is that it's part of life, part of finding yourself and figuring yourself out.

What gets me through my day is talking to my best friend, listening to music I like, thinking about God, nature, taking a nice refreshing walk if it's warm out, cuddling my pets. How about getting a puppy or a kitten? They make great companionship and they help with loneliness. The little things in life bring joy as well.

I hope I helped a bit and I hope you feel better.

Stay Strong <3
  (#4 (permalink)) Old
Adam the Fish Offline
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Re: Getting more from my life? - March 27th 2013, 11:55 AM


Like Christabel, I'm sorry you're going through all this, because I also can definitely relate to social awkwardness.

My outlook is always, always, always (and this is probably the thing I think to myself most), "life is what you make of it".
To change the way you're doing things now, you need firstly a dose of determination. That, you seem to have.
All you have to do now, is put it to use.

For interaction with people, assuming the people you might know use it, Facebook is a wonderful tool. Of course, it's by no means an alternative to actually sledding time with people, but it can remove some of the initial barriers when talking to new people and make you feel a lot more comfortable around them (of course, you've also got "lol" and "yeah" at your disposal if you can't think of things to say!)

That's just one thing though, which might help achieve one goal of being more socially interactive.
Set yourself goals, mentally or written down on a piece of paper (the latter is possibly best), both short- and long-term, and find ways to work towards them and achieve them.

If you've got the determination to change, you can make it become motivation to change too.

Best of luck!

Skittlify me up...
Adam the Fish | 26/08/12 | 08/10/12 | 02/12/12 | 09/02/13 | 01/06/13 | 30/08/13 | 25/11/13
...spreading happiness and joy around the Internet!
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  (#5 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Getting more from my life? - March 27th 2013, 04:58 PM

Pretty much I bet the other posters said it all.
I just wanna add this:
I look at flaws too, bad thing to do but you know whatever. It's especially hard to ignore flaws when I do photography and come home and edit their faces to no extent because most of them have zits everywhere. I find zits I bet they didn't know they had.
Anyways! Even though you see their flaws, sometimes you have to love it. Yeah it's hard to love zits, but the bump on their nose? That scar covering their cheek? That makes them...well, them!

You Are Loved
  (#6 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Getting more from my life? - March 30th 2013, 03:12 PM

I'm really sorry for the late response.

Thanks for your kind and encouraging words. I've tried a lot of what you've all stated before, such as forcing myself into social situations. I really don't find it to work well, nor is it enjoyable.

I'm on Facebook, I actually use a fictitious account as I have quite a few internet friends who I enjoy conversing with, they're usually who I spend my time with online.

Two of you also mentioned God. I really wish I had something like that to fall back upon for some sort of support, however I'm atheist and just can't get into religion at all.

I think my biggest flaw is that I'm never motivated.
  (#7 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Getting more from my life? - March 30th 2013, 06:11 PM

I understand how you feel as well. I'm terrified to let people get close to me and see my feelings. I understand feeling bored with life i'm what's called emotionally intense and theatrical I feel like life's suppose to be 1 big event after another each day a new adventure. Unfortunatly my life is very predictable but i'm planning on changing that when I get back to school this week i'm gonna try volunteering in a thing called SCIP(does your school have any special programs to get into) kids like us often get bored with life and we fall into states of depression where you feel just completly unmotivated and just wanna sleep forever. To get out of it i'm going to and I suggest you try it with me doing things that give our life purpose that make us feel like we are making a difference(I started getting more into teenhelp it feels good to really help people).

Every heartbreak we go through makes us the perfect person for our soulmates. Shaping us into what they've always been looking for.

Need to talk, PM me.

To people(like me) who think asking for help annoys people I say:
It would bother me if you DIDN'T ask for help.
  (#8 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Getting more from my life? - March 31st 2013, 06:31 PM

I'm actually hoping to join the DSPCA (Dublin Society For Prevention of Cruelty To Animals) as a volunteer next year. I have some big exams in June, and the studies and homework has been taking up so much of my time.
I really don't have time for any extra things right now, unfortunately.
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