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Depression and Suicide If you or a loved one is feeling depressed or suicidal, you are not alone. Talk with other users about your feelings here.

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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
Breathe~me Offline
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Exclamation I made a plan ...? - March 28th 2013, 12:05 PM

This thread has been labeled as triggering, particularly on the subject of suicide, by the original poster or by a Moderator. The contents of this thread therefore might not be suitable for certain sensitive users. Please take this into consideration before continuing to read.

Well easiest way to phrase this is: I've been bullied since I was in 1st grade, It didn't start to get bad though until half way through 8th grade. I was pushed into poles & walls, told to go kill myself, to go cut myself, rumors spread about me (saying that i slept around and had an std), i got tripped over, hit with small stones & paper wasps, told that I'm ugly, stupid, fat, a slut, retard, c*nt, b*tch, whore,lez,faggott, attention seeker, emo, cutter, suicidal freak, got told that everyone hates me, that i'd be better off dead, told to go hang myself etc.
I attempted suicide last year at around this time of the year because one night i was getting bullied online pretty badly and i was in a mental mess already since i have severe depression and i was struggling with support. I tried slitting my wrists that night.
I told a close friend who then called me an attention seeker and started saying that i through a scene over nothing even though she's suffering depression as well, it's like nothing i said made any sense to her...
She then told the girls who were harrassing me, they spread it around school and made jokes about it: saying 'do you want another razor', 'too bad it didnt work', 'why dont you just hang yourself', 'i hope it works next time you do it' .

One guy joined in with the bullying as well: he made fun of the cutting, the depression and the suicide attempts. I got the reputation of being an 'emo' after that. He practically recruited abunch of younger kids to do the same. so there were literally like 5 kids yelling it out in front of everyone.

In terms of counselling, I went to counselling: it made my life a bit better. I became more social and independant. I tried making a new friend. I hung out with her every lunch time and chatted...... except she was friends with the guy who started it.... He came up to me and her one day and said to her ' ewwweee your hanging out with .......', she didnt say anything then he said 'fuck off no one wants you here, just fuck off'. I looked at her for a second and nothing. Thought she would of stood up for me but no :/

I have made a lot of new friends since then but I'm still getting bullied by new people and old people and i have the added stress of school work which is pushing me over the edge.

[Edited] I want someone here to in some way give me advice other than stay strong or believe in yourself.... I just need someone.


~ Words scar, Rumors destroy and bullies kill ~
~ I'm just another nobody.
~ You can't tell how much suffering is on a face that's always smiling </3
~ Be my friend.
hold me.
wrap me up.
unfold me.
I am small and needy.
Warm me up and breathe me.

❤❤❤
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Subscribe to me on Youtube <3 http://www.youtube.com/user/xJustAnotherNobodyx1
Or follow me on DeviantArt
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Last edited by Ngikhona; March 29th 2013 at 02:53 AM.
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Re: I made a plan ...? - March 28th 2013, 07:44 PM

Hi. I am so sorry to hear this. I think it's horrible that people are trying to hurt you this way.
Have you tried talking to your parents about this? Or someone else in your family?
Please don't try to kill yourself or to harm yourself in any manner. Please.
Firstly, you don't want this to get out, right? So why give people a chance to hurt you? What you need to show them is that you're strong and you're not some "emo" like they call you. They will stop bullying you the minute they think that it doesn't affect you.
And from what I see, you're not the one at fault here. Why should you pay for the wrong that some jerks are doing?
You're stronger than this, okay? You're not like the people who're bullying you. Believe in yourself. Make friends, and make sure you can trust them completely before revealing anything.
You can always speak to me or anyone here. Please don't hurt yourself.
Hope you do okay. Let me know. I hope to hear from you after 24th of April!


Don't judge me because I sin differently from you.
   
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Re: I made a plan ...? - March 29th 2013, 03:28 AM

Darling... I am so sorry. Can I offer something for you to think about? You're 16 - school will be over soon. Those kids bullying you... You won't have to see them again everyday at school. You've been through so much, you can't give up now. You've got the whole world to see, new things to do, so much more than this, sweetie. You can meet more mature people that don't bully you. <3 Don't you want that? Don't you wanna wait for you to have the chance to realize that life is more than this?

Is there any way to tell the principle at school about the kids bullying you or maybe switch schools?

Stay Strong <3 I believe you can do this hun. Please get rid of that date, you're here for a reason, not to bully, but to live. <3
   
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Breathe~me Offline
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Re: I made a plan ...? - March 29th 2013, 05:16 AM

my parents know, so does the school (principal, deputy principal, most teachers, school chaplin and guidance officer), i told the school district twice and also contacted the police. no one really did any thing. The school said bullying is a behavioural problem so the principal said she can't punish them or any thing/...


~ Words scar, Rumors destroy and bullies kill ~
~ I'm just another nobody.
~ You can't tell how much suffering is on a face that's always smiling </3
~ Be my friend.
hold me.
wrap me up.
unfold me.
I am small and needy.
Warm me up and breathe me.

❤❤❤
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Subscribe to me on Youtube <3 http://www.youtube.com/user/xJustAnotherNobodyx1
Or follow me on DeviantArt
http://lostinfragility.deviantart.com/
  Send a message via MSN to Breathe~me  
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tryinghardx Offline
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Re: I made a plan ...? - March 29th 2013, 12:11 PM

I second Christabel. School doesn't last forever.
It'll end for the people who suffered, and for the people who enjoyed.
And also, what goes around comes around


Don't judge me because I sin differently from you.
   
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