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Depression and Suicide If you or a loved one is feeling depressed or suicidal, you are not alone. Talk with other users about your feelings here.

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VioletRavenwood Offline
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Exclamation i feel like dying - April 2nd 2013, 06:17 AM

This thread has been labeled as triggering, particularly on the subject of suicide, by the original poster or by a Moderator. The contents of this thread therefore might not be suitable for certain sensitive users. Please take this into consideration before continuing to read.

life is really sucking righ now i started cutting again idk
lately theres been idk a voice in my head saying like "this is all your falt if you werent here no of this would happen just kill your self" idk can any one help me?
   
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Re: i feel like dying - April 2nd 2013, 11:41 AM

Hi there, darling.

I'm really sorry you're feeling this way, hunny. Things must be pretty rough and I can relate to that but please, the things telling you that you should kill yourself, don't listen to that at all. Can I ask what's "your fault"? I'm not sure what you mean by that but I can tell you that everyone makes mistakes. It's part of life. Learning from your mistakes and forgiving yourself and making the best of mistakes. I know it must feel pretty bad right now but it gets easier. The bad things eventually fade, feeling them right now is the hard part.

Your life means so much more than ending it right now, it's just not worth it because suicide hurts more than just you and your chance at being happy, it hurts all those around you who love you. I realize it's hard to see how many people love and care about you while you're in such a tough time, but it's true. You are loved. Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem, it's not worth it. You're 16 and you've got so many opportunities, chances and so many more experiences. What you're going through right now makes you so much stronger in the end to deal with things better. What we go through while we're young makes us more experienced and prepared and with our experience, maybe in the future we can help others going through the same things, making sure they realize it doesn't stay this bad.

Is there anyone you can talk to about this? When you're feeling sad, guilty over a mistake or any problem, it can really help to talk to someone. And any situation bad enough to involve suicide proves that it's really important that someone knows and can listen and support you. If it's too difficult to tell someone you know verbally, then you could write it out on a letter and give it too them, makes it a lot easier. But umm... Anyone? Your parents, siblings, relatives, friend, teacher, school counselor? Even a hotline. You don't deserve to have to go through this alone.

I know Self-Harm may "help" right now, but in the long run it really doesn't help at all. Since it releases endorphins, it becomes addictive and then you start feeling guilty because of the urges and scars and it stops working. Evidently it brings more negative feelings into the picture and worsens depression in an endless cycle. I am really sorry you Self-Harm, you don't deserve to have to do that, sweetie. I've found that Self-Harm drowns out healthy coping mechanisms and becomes the only coping mechanism which is unhealthy. It's bad to depend on it. Even though it's extremely difficult, the sooner you stop the better. Every negative feeling you ride out without Self-Harming makes the next easier and contributes to recovery. When I'm sad and wanna Self-Harm I do something I enjoy and try my best to distract myself and remember a person that I really care about and think about how sad they'd be if I Self-Harmed right now. Maybe you could do it for someone you care a lot about? You could participate in the Butterfly Project. There's also the list of Self-Harm Alternatives which is helpful when you find some that work for you. You can also replace releasing endorphins by Self-Harming by exercising, it does the same. Believe me when I say that recovery is worth it. I'm 3 weeks free and even though I still feel sad sometimes, I feel happy that I'm resisting Self-Harm for someone I care about and that I don't have to physically hurt myself.

Hmm... Distractions are always the way to go. Whether it be a distraction from sadness or Self-Harm urges. When you're depressed, the best thing to do is to do something you enjoy or consider taking up a new hobby/interest. Anything new could really help because being in the same routine can just get you down even more. So how about doing something like play a game, cuddle with a pet, watch tv/movies, do chores around the house, do the dishes, organize your room and tidy it up a bit, listen to music, read, take a relaxing bath, go to the cinema, go out with friends, go out to eat, try a new food. Take up a new hobby such as knitting, arts and crafts, beading, photography, anything that catches your interest. Sunlight also increases a natural chemical in your brain that induces positive emotions so whenever you get a chance, outside activities are the best, even if it's just taking a walk. Or when you're inside, keep window shades open so you can get sun. Maybe meeting some new people, talk to people you haven't spoken to before. A new friendship could help you as well.

Writing your feelings down in a journal or writing poems/short stories that relate and express your feelings can help too. Do little things like change up your room maybe? Put some positive quotes on your mirror and on your door, put peaceful and happy or pictures up. Change your sheets to a brighter color. Those little things can change up stuff and make it seem refreshing.

Sorry for the length, I hope I helped a bit though. I just want you to know that things do get better even though right now they seem they never will. The rainbow always comes after the storm. And hey, it'll all be okay in the end, if it's not okay then it's not the end (wise quote from a friend of mine). I know you can do this, you seem like a strong person and we've all got amazing strength inside us that we don't even know exists, that's why we need someone to remind us. You can message me anytime if you need someone to talk to/vent to, and I'll try and help although I don't always know what to say but I can listen. You can also use HelpLINK or LiveHelp if you need extra advice.

Hey? Smile today. You can get through this.

Stay Strong <3
   
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Re: i feel like dying - April 4th 2013, 01:18 AM

thank you for writing this! it really ment alot to e and i started emailing my counsler (i see her through my school so i dont see her cuz its spring break) and i worked through my feelings. wouldnt say that their gone just not surfaced i guess. back on point thank you thank you so verry verry much !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
   
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Re: i feel like dying - April 4th 2013, 01:35 AM

I'm so happy to hear that! I hope it goes well and you start to feel better, even more. You're so welcome, sweetie. I'm glad I could help.
   
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