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Depression and Suicide If you or a loved one is feeling depressed or suicidal, you are not alone. Talk with other users about your feelings here.

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I think I'm losing it - April 8th 2013, 12:36 AM

Maybe this is one of my bad days. Maybe this is just a rough patch that I'll get through eventually. Or maybe I'm just a lazy good-for-nothing person that would be better off dead than alive. My grandparents keep telling me that I could "talk to them". The other day, they were upset that I never tell them what's on my mind. They told me "don't be afraid to talk to us", and "there's nothing to be afraid of" (even though there is plenty to be afraid of). But honestly, the only reason I don't tell anyone anything is because I just don't know what to tell them. My mind is in shambles - even I don't know what I'm thinking half the time. I doubt everything about myself, everything I do, just EVERYTHING. Whats wrong with me? I have weird mood swings too - one minute I'm as cheerful and carefree as a butterfly. Then next minute, I'm sad and angry. Do I have to go see a doctor or something? Am I crazy? Lately, I've been feeling like a failure and a disappointment to my family. Everyone seems to have trouble taking me seriously. I feel so crappy and useless. I've also been feeling like things would be better if I just died. But then I think that suicide is a bit selfish, so I try not to think of it too much (not that it helps or anything). I've also thought about cutting (a lot I'm afraid), and sometimes I'm even tempted to do it. But I don't want anyone to know, and hiding something like that would be difficult for me. Sometimes I think exercise would help but I find it hard to be motivated to do it and have trouble being committed. Is there something wrong with me? Am I the only one feeling like this? I don't know what to do, and I feel like I'm drowning in everything. I have nothing to look forward to anymore. I feel dead even though I'm still breathing. I need help guys


"Feel the fear and do it anyway."

"How are you going to save the world?"
   
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Re: I think I'm losing it - April 8th 2013, 01:06 AM

I know exactly how you feel, it's hard. Just look forward to the next moment. When you are on your low remember you can get through it. Be a fighter!!!
   
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Re: I think I'm losing it - April 8th 2013, 01:40 AM

Hi, Grace.

So sorry you're feeling this way, hun. I can relate though, I have those same feelings. Even today, I was doing great then all at once... Felt so low. I think sometimes it could be hormones maybe? Either way, they're still sad feelings we need to recover from. I think you should tell your Grandparents what you just told us. Tell them that your moods are up and down, and about the thoughts of suicide you're having, and that it's hard to explain. Then maybe you could ask them to talk with a therapist? It can be really hard to deal with such conflicting feelings without someone helping you.

After that, I really think it'd help you to create something to look forward to. Find a new hobby, plan a bunch of fun things on your calender so you'll know there's something to look forward to. Go out with friends, meet new people. The best thing to do when you're feeling like this is to do things you enjoy, keep yourself distracted and explore. You could also write down what you're feeling in a journal when you're feeling sad so you can put it together and figure out what your triggers are for these feelings.

Remember that things do get better, okay? It won't always be like this, hun. Suicide is never the answer so listen to the part of you that's holding you back from suicide. You have a future and many chances to be happy. You're meant to be here. I'm here if you need someone to talk to, sweetie. You can do this, Grace, don't ever give up. The rain stops eventually.

Stay Strong <3
   
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Re: I think I'm losing it - April 8th 2013, 02:42 AM

Thanks K.D for reminding me to keep fighting . And thanks Christabel, that really helped


"Feel the fear and do it anyway."

"How are you going to save the world?"
   
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Re: I think I'm losing it - April 8th 2013, 02:52 AM

You're very welcome, darling.
Hold on, reach out <3
   
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