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Beautiful Lie Offline
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Name: Nicole
Age: 22
Gender: Female
Location: A place where I'm me

Posts: 121
Blog Entries: 43
Join Date: May 10th 2012

Exclamation cant do this anymore - April 8th 2013, 09:24 PM

I don't think I can carry on with this life anymore I hate everything that I do or don't to I feel like a really horrible person wait no correction I am a horrible person... Major breakdown again today and now my parents know I'm not happy I didn't want them knowing for good reason... Now I don't want to carry on with my life I'm not happy here or anywhere I actually hate everything that I do... Starving myself again and I am actually now considering suicide and I know people that say it won't so it but I am literally sick to death of this life and yeah this should probably be in my blog but oh well... So this could be the last time I am on here...... So if it is goodbye nice to meet you guys that I met....

Giving up doesn't mean your weak sometimes it means that your strong enough to let go <3

Today isn't just another day, today I'll create something beautiful <3

Always feel free to VM/PM/Email me for anything always happy to help the best I can
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Re: cant do this anymore - April 9th 2013, 01:37 AM

Hi, Nicole.

Darling, suicide isn't the answer. There's people in your life who care a lot about you and it would devastate them if you took your life. It's unfair for them, and you. For you, because you'll never get the chance to see how much things can improve and get better. You're 16 and you've got so much life ahead of you. Don't give up, alright? Suicide just isn't worth it at all. Your life is much more important than you think.

I starve myself too, and I've seen and felt how unhealthy it is. Plus, lack of food and vitamins is already physically unhealthy as it is but there's also an emotional side to that. It messes with your mood as well and makes you feel bad. I think it'd be a good first step if you started eating healthy and exercising, both are healthy and exercise can get you up and moving which would improve your mood. Easier said than done, I know, I really do. But I believe you're strong enough.

To feel better, you have to make that choice. You have to make the choice to be happy. Effort and dedication could help you reach that goal. Try and think more positively, focus on the smallest good things that happen in each day and take time to appreciate it. Even small silly things such as being happy over trying a new food or something, anything that made you smile or laugh. Focus on that instead of the bad things. Realize that sometimes life is hard, it's sad, but everything eventually works out in the end and if it's still not going right, it's not the end. But we gotta learn to be strong, learn good coping mechanisms, and have friends here for us. We're always okay in the end though. Things do get better now matter how bad they are right now.

I understand how it could be awfully scary and make you feel vulnerable that your parents know how you've been feeling but since they know, how about taking advantage of that and trying to get support and help from them? Sit them down and explain everything? I think it'd help if you could also talk to someone else about this as well, such as a therapist, school counselor, teacher, siblings, friends, relatives. Having help and support could go a long ways, even if it's scary and hard at first. You could do it through writing it out on a text/note explaining it instead of verbally if that'd be easier.

Remember that things get better, okay? Hang in there. Use some distractions, do things you enjoy, go out, get some new hobbies and interests, do things you enjoy, anything would help. Write your feelings in a journal or write poems to express yourself. Go for a walk, do more active things to get your adrenaline going.

You CAN do this, Nicole. You've been through a lot so don't let this take you down. You're so much stronger and you'll be even stronger after coming out on top of this. I'm here if you need someone to talk to. And hey, the stars can't shine without the darkness.

Stay Strong, sweetie. <3
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