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Exclamation I do need help, I'm not ok. - April 9th 2013, 01:56 AM

The blackness and the despair. Withdrawing more and more into myself. I feel hopeless. I can't deal with this. I want to cut so bad. I haven't but i'm terrified that I will. I broke my finger and knuckle earlier due to my overboiling rage of myself.

There is no joy in me and I can no longer pretend. I have been told many times by many different people to go to the doctors, for help. But I haven't. I know that they are right but I am usually the the one who helps others. I don't think I can open myself to a doctor. I have trust issues you see.

I just would love someone to help, someone to talk to before I do anything I may regret.. Please, any help, advice or a general chat

"Smiling is only a symptom of happiness and can be faked."

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Re: I do need help, I'm not ok. - April 9th 2013, 03:01 AM

Hi, Jade.

So sorry about what's going on. I think it would be a really good idea to open up to someone about this. I know it's hard, especially with trust issues. But I think that after that, you'll feel a lot better once it sets in on you. I think it's seriously worth trying.

Right now, congratulations on trying not to cut. That's really amazing that you're trying your best. So how about using some distractions? Or things from the Self-Harm Alternatives list? Doing something you enjoy? Listen to music, watch tv or a movie. Go out, go for a walk.

I'd love to chat with you if you want. Feel free to message me anytime.

Stay Strong <3
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Re: I do need help, I'm not ok. - April 9th 2013, 03:02 AM

You can always ALWAYS come to me Jade, kay?

I do agree with them, I know that it may seem like they can't help you, I mean they may or may not have been in your shoes here, but this is a serious thing, and hey, I really care about you, I just want to see you happy
Its hard talking to them, trust me, I've seen two therapists now, and several doctors. And whether or not it seems like it, they have helped me and they can help you. Its hard coming out to them too, just like any other self-issues, self harm and depression are hard to tell anyone, even professionals who hear those words for a living.
But they care about you, you as an individiual, that's why they're there.
Maybe talk to a school councelor first, that's what I did, and sometimes its even easier to talk to them.
Going smaller, talk to anyone really, and we're all a someone that you can talk to, so please don't hesitate to talk to any of us

I'm really sorry you're feeling this sort of way, its hard, but quoting one of my favorite songs, "Nobody said it was easy."
Take it one day at a time, and stay strong <3 I know you can.
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Re: I do need help, I'm not ok. - April 9th 2013, 03:11 AM

Hey, hold on, okay? This is tough - I get that - but it's nothing to give up for. Trust me, I've also always been the type of person to help others and not myself - it only makes things worse!! One of the things I learned in therapy is that you can't help anybody if you don't help yourself first.

I know it's tough right now, but you CAN survive - I PROMISE. I've been through it, so I know exactly how you feel. Talk to me whenever you need to.
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