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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
BlueWolf Offline
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Pushing others away - April 10th 2013, 03:06 PM

A lot of people push others away, especially when they feel more depressed than usual. Do you push people away? Why do you do it? Do you lose friends or are you able to stop pushing them away? Do you try to explain to others what and why you are doing this, or do you just sufffer alone?

I do this all the time. I start feeling insignificant, worthless, hopeless, and either I feel lonely, angry at everyone, or think I will just be hurt anyway or that I am not good enough because I do not meet my own expectations or that I.have little or no importance. So many reasons why I start pushing people away. I will ignore them no matter what they say. I have lost most of my friends this way. I want to stop, but for some reason I feel like I have to block everyone out and suffer alone. It is so painful to do this. I hate being alone. What do you guys do about it? Any advice? I feel like pushing eveeyone away again and talk to no one at all. I want to curl up into a ball and cry.

Self-harm free since 10.1.2013
"You have not failed if you learned something from it."
"Life's not about waiting for the storm to pass, it's about learning to dance in the rain"
"Weak heart, Dying soul, Falling apart, Make me whole, These broken blues, Peirce your being, Hide the truth, You won't be seeing."
"Deeper, Deeper, Deeper inside me I live a life that seems to be a lost reality."
"Big Brother is watching."

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Re: Pushing others away - April 10th 2013, 05:11 PM

I used to feel that way A LOT. Well, sorta...I hated being alone; I didn't really seek it, but I still felt alone, sometimes even when I was surrounded by people and blind to see them. God got me through some of theses times and in others, I wallowed away in self-pity before I could actually want to change.
Sometimes you need to be alone; sometimes being alone is the worst thing for you. I had and still have some trust issues...It's hard for me to open up to people, my friends. I just feel like I can't talk to them about personal problems or affections, my doubts. I get this, strangled feeling, almost. I realize that I do need to talk to people, especially when I'm hurting, but I'm wary of it because when you open your heart to someone, they have power to build you up or tear you down. I suppose it comes down to trust, risk.
Hypocrite as I am, you aren't alone even if you feel like it. You can try to do what I still struggle to do, and that is talk to people about these things. Good luck. Hope you're braver than I.
God bless.
- Collies R Us

"Be strong and bold; have no fear or dread of them, because it is the LORD your God who goes with you; he will not fail you or forsake you." (Deut. 31:6 NRSV of the Bible)
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WishingForAWay Offline
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Re: Pushing others away - April 11th 2013, 12:27 AM

I know how you feel. I'm not as bad as I use to be but I still have trust and commitment issues. I use to let no one near me whether it was to help me or because they wanted to get close to me. Its lonely and it only gets worse if you dont do anything about it. I started off by trusting one person. Pick someone who you are already comfortable around; a family member, a teacher. Someone older who has more experience with life problems. For example, I had chosen my dad, to this day he is still my best friend that I can tell anything to. Once you have chosen someone always go to them for help. Whether you just need someone to rant to or you just need someone around.
Another thing I did was I would write down everything, whether is was happiness or absolute pain and betrayal, I would just write it down. Every raw emotion. And then I would let my dad read it, its not the same as talking to someone but you still have someone who understands what you're going through and they can help you.

I am really hoping that something in this message helps you

If you ever need someone to talk to or a friend to rant to then send me a message and I will do what I can to help

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Re: Pushing others away - April 11th 2013, 12:34 AM

Hey there, Jessica!

Depends on how depressed I feel and what's going on. I push family away all the time but most of the time I'll talk to my best friend and tell him my feelings/thoughts. Sometimes I still push him away in a way though. I do it mainly because I feel like a bother to everybody and I just wanna be alone so I won't hurt others and I don't tell my family anything because I'm scared.

I like WishingForAWay's idea. I do the same, I put my trust in my best friend and tell him everything.

I'm really sorry you do this. I know how painful it is. It's unhealthy to not have any support or talk about anything with people so I think the best thing you can do is when you catch yourself pushing others away, take time to realize it and do the opposite. Start catching yourself more often before doing it. Tell the people around you who love you that you do this and you wanna stop, talk to them more often about what's bothering you. You can write any of these things on a note and give it to them to make it slightly easier.

Hope I helped. I'm here if you need someone to talk to.

Stay Strong <3
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