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crazyjoe567 Offline
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Name: Joseph
Age: 22
Gender: Male
Location: England

Posts: 2
Join Date: April 16th 2013

How can I be happier - April 16th 2013, 08:20 PM

When I was about 7 my only friend moved away, over the years I never really had any friends until secondary school. Over those years I became more and more secluded. At that stage I was really depressed, I contemplated suicidal thoughts. Now I don't but I still feel quite depressed. I linger over things people say to me, my mind making them much worse than they are. I don't seem to like any physical contact not even from my parents (meaning hugs). I'm the sort of person that doesn't work well with people. Also I don't seem to have much emotions anymore except the bad ones, eg sadness, depression, anger, etc. Also I don't want to smile, I sometimes do but I normally have a natural frown. I am still quite depressed but I feel my future is going to be much better. I still don't know why I still am depressed but it has stayed since I was in primary school. I want to know ways to try to be happier and generally better at social conversations. Also I don't like looking at myself in the mirror.
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justdatdude Offline
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Name: Jack
Age: 23
Gender: Male
Location: USofA

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Join Date: April 17th 2013

Re: How can I be happier - April 17th 2013, 01:09 AM

If i told you my past, you'd be grateful of yours, your situation could of GONE WORSE. and i mean WORSE. You're lucky. Depression is a key part of puberty and emotion.

Going to let puberty take control?
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Re: How can I be happier - April 17th 2013, 05:52 AM

Hi, Joseph!

I'm really sorry about what you're going through. You sound just like me. I can relate in so many ways, the loneliness, bad self-image, paying too much attention to every word someone says about me, not liking physical contact. I too don't like hugs from my parents or anyone really and I know how hard all those things are. So I'm sorry you deal with them too.

I'm also sorry you've had suicidal thoughts in the past but I'm so glad to hear you aren't now and you know that things will get better. I admire you for wanting to work on other problems in the meantime. Shows you're a strong person.

Firstly, when you don't have any friends or anyone around at a young age, your heart seems to go numb and it's also so hard to get used to physical contact, being able to be good in social situations and just natural around people. I grew up without friends either so I know. So honestly, just like Social Anxiety for example, to get past it and start recovering you have to push yourself in those uncomfortable social situations to get past SA. Same with this. Maybe you could slowly push yourself into hugs with your parents, even though it's uncomfortable, if you don't avoid hugs then you should start being a little more comfortable with it from then on. Facing your fears is the way to go, easier said than done though.

Then in school, you could try and talk to more people to develop your social skills better. Just go with the flow of conversation, introduce yourself to them, ask them how they are, compliment them on something and get more comfortable and relaxed to be able to function better. Most importantly, smile when you're talking to others. Frowns put people off sometimes. Sad, I know.

Secondly, could you talk to your parents about these feelings? You could write it on a note and give it to them if saying it verbally is too difficult. Sometimes it can help to have a support system. Even your school counselor or teacher maybe?

In school, could you join sports, clubs, something like that to meet new people and generally just have something to do? Sometimes doing something new or doing something you might later start to enjoy can help you to be happier. You could take up some new interests or hobbies, go back to doing things you used to enjoy. Oh and taking walks in the daylight can really help because the sunlight naturally increases a chemical in your brain that induces more positive emotions over time. So walks could start to help if you do it daily. Writing your feelings in a journal could also help you express yourself.

Hope I helped a bit! I can relate a lot so feel free to message me anytime if you need someone to talk to, even if it's just to vent. I can always listen and try to offer helpful advice and support. Plus, I'd really like to get to know you and become friends since you're a lot like me. It'd be nice to be friends with someone that can relate.

Things do get better and I truly believe you can get through this, Joseph! Life is hard but these things make us stronger. Hey, how would the stars shine without the darkness?

Stay Strong <3
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