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Depression and Suicide If you or a loved one is feeling depressed or suicidal, you are not alone. Talk with other users about your feelings here.

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MBach528 Offline
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Unhappy Feeling worse than before - April 16th 2013, 11:46 PM

I am feeling so terrible. I've been crying for the past three days... I can't stop, I feel so broken and empty... It's been FOREVER since I've felt this way. I almost forgot what it feels like. I've been terribly depressed, having terrible panic attacks, and I haven't been sleeping. My stomach has been upset because of how upset I am, so I've barely been able to eat. I'm so tempted to cut, but I can't... I just got new scissors and safety pins to make awareness ribbons and I want my mom to trust me with them. So I don't know what to do. Suicide is still a thought lingering, though I do NOT plan to act on it.

Can someone please help me? I really can't figure out what's triggering this sudden relapse... I've been writing down, in detail, every single little thing that's been happening, but I can't find anything really negative until the sudden down spiral on Sunday night.

Does anybody have any advice?


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Re: Feeling worse than before - April 17th 2013, 12:03 AM

You need an occupation, a hobby.

My advice, for you personally. Watch movies.

Think this pain will last forever? No. I think this part of your life, what your feeling, should be explored. Its rare, you want to leave the pain behind, but why don't you explore what you are feeling LEARN. Learn from teenagers, and yourself.


- Teenage life is hard. But its easy, if you want it to be.


You need to relax. Take time off your hands, STOP WORRYING. ENJOY YOUR LIFE.


Do something you want, force yourself to do something.


Sit down, relax, entertain yourself. There is nothing wrong with you. Your fine. Beautiful. Correct. A-Okay. -


Just need to relax...Take a Deep breath through your nose, and out your mouth.

This will stop any pains for a while. Just RELAX.


I've been through some stuff. Just let me tell you, the best way for it is.


1.Think your tough, nothing can stop you. This pain and stress CAN NOT BREAK YOU!

2. I Don't give a damn what i'm feeling like! If i'm in pain, happiness, i'll still be doing the things i DO. and ENJOY doing them.
   
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Re: Feeling worse than before - April 17th 2013, 12:12 AM

I do appreciate your advice, Bazooka. However, I do try and make myself take my mind off things, but the emptiness and weakness I feel inside doesn't go away. I still feel so frail and broken, and the tears won't stop falling...


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Re: Feeling worse than before - April 17th 2013, 12:54 AM

Hey there.

I'm really sorry to hear that you're feeling so terrible. It sounds like things are bad for you right now but I do think it's really good that you've come here to us for some help and support and I do hope that we can help you in some way. You definitely deserve the help.

Crying can seem really horrible in the moment because it can make us exhausted and I guess at the end of the day, you're crying because you're sad and upset but I think it sounds like maybe it's also an outlet of emotion for you so I think in that sense, crying for you might actually be a good thing as horrible as it may feel at the time. If you feel like crying, cry. Don't hold it back. Let it out and don't be alone either. I mean, if you want to be alone and cry, that's okay, I understand that. But sometimes having a shoulder to cry on can be really comforting so don't be afraid to turn to someone who loves you and who you love.

Feeling broken and empty must be horrible for you. You say it's been forever since you felt this way. Can I ask you how long this has all been going on for you? Feeling depressed isn't nice but know that it's just a feeling and as horrible as it is, it is not going to hurt you, okay? And the good news? Feelings don't last for ever. They may come and go but in time you can overcome this feeling and this way of life. It won't always be this way and it will get better in time and it's important that you keep reminding yourself that. This is not how your life is going to be. Better things are ahead of you so don't let this ruin your future, okay? You are stronger than it it and you can and you will beat it if you set your mind to it and work hard enough. I'm not saying it's going to be easy, but it is possible. So many other people do it, so why wouldn't you be able to? You CAN.

Panic attacks can be horrible things to experience. When I was about 15/16 I used to have up to ten a day and some of them could last up to an hour. I used to be sick, physically during them, lose senses of my body, and pass out to the point where I was taken to hospital at points. I still have them but not as bad or as often but my point is I can relate to it. I can relate to all of this. You need to take control of your breathing when you start to feel anxious and you start to feel that panic coming on. You know when your thoughts start to rush, your hands to to sweat and breathing increasingly becomes shallower? Take yourself out of the situation you're in, into a quite place with someone you trust if there is someone there, sit sit down, feel the chair or the floor (where ever you're sat) with your hands and ground yourself. Take some deep breathes in through your nose and out through your mouth. Count. I always count five in and five out because you're not only then controlling your breathing but distracting your mind from what is making you panic. And tell yourself, you have felt this before, you have experience this before, it's unpleasant, but it is not going to hurt you, that you will get through it. And try to find the triggers for your anxiety and put things in place to prevent it. For example, one for me is crowds. So if I am having a bad day, I'll take my mum or someone close out with me where I go or I'll take my ipod to block things out and it helps me calm down.

Sleeping is important. I know it can be hard to sleep when you feel the way you do, but the less you sleep, the more of an negative impact it is going to have in your mood. Do little things to try and help yourself. Have a bedtime routine. Have a bath at nine. A hot drink at ten. Get into bed at half past. Read for half an hour and try to sleep at eleven. If you can't sleep within half an hour, don't get worked up, get up, go downstairs, get a drink for fifteen minutes and try again. There's not point in staying in bed getting agitated over the fact that you can't sleep. That's going to make it worse. Avoid caffeine in the evenings and try to avoid a lot of stimulation. Laptop lights can act as artificial light so it tricks our brains into thinking its daylight therefore can make is struggle to sleep. Have the light in your room some what dark, but not too dark if it is scares you. A good room temp and a comfy and safe safe bed. Me, I like lots of sheets, a thick duvet, lots of pillows. It makes me feel safe and it helps. Avoid songs with lyrics that might upset you and complicated books and homework late at night that will get your mind working and also try to avoid arguments.

Keep eating. Even if you have an upset stomach. There's something called Andrews, you can buy it in chemists. I use it because when I get anxious, I get a really upset stomach and it actually helps. Its a powder and you mix it in your drink and it helps settle your stomach. The less you eat, the worse you're going to feel, again, like with the sleep. A healthy balanced diet can have an impact on your mood so even if its hard to eat, keep trying. Maybe try to eat small meals but more through out the day.

Cutting isn't going to help anything. Not really. Sure it might feel like it helps in the moment, but like I often say to people, if it really helped then we wouldn't keep going back to it like we do - we'd only have to do it once or twice and we'd feel better but I bet that isn't how it works for you, is it? And you don't deserve it. You don't deserve the pain you are putting upon yourself and I know that you probably don't believe me but it is true. You are worth so much more than self harm. You're beautiful inside and outside and you can do better. You are stronger than the urges you are having. Take control and don't let them win you, alright? Because YOU are in control and you are the only person who can stop yourself from self harming. And I promise you that if you work hard and set your mind to it, stay focused and are determined, you'll beat it, you will beat those urges. But remember, it's going to be a process, okay? Don't expect miracles. And also, even though they won't solve the problem causing all of this, use alternatives when you feel the urges. They can really help you get through the moment.

So I think now you need to really think if anything has happened to cause this. Sometimes people go through hard times which cause distress or go through traumatic experiences which can lead to feeling this way. It might be something recent or something from years ago. Sometimes nothing happens but people can have a chemical imbalance in their brains. You need to have a good think and even talk to us about it, okay? And then depending on how long this has been going on for (?), I think the next step would be about reaching out to someone for help, but we can talk about that, if you want to to do so.

I hope this helps a little. Remember that you aren't alone and that recovery is possible so stick at it and even more so fight for it because you are worth it and the fight is worth it. You have a future and it can be anything you want it to be.

Don't stop fighting,
Jessie.


"Only in the dark, can you see the stars..."
Josie 12/3/2014, always in my heart. Sue 19/2/2016; Peter, Ellie, Hannah, Andy, Kirtsie RIP.

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Re: Feeling worse than before - April 17th 2013, 01:58 AM

Hello Jessie,

Thank you for your support. You had some really good ideas that I will plan to implement. Thank you for your kind words. It means a lot to me to have support of people on here.

-MB


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Re: Feeling worse than before - April 17th 2013, 04:24 AM

Hey, MB.

Jessie gave the most insightful and amazing advice so I don't have a lot to say but I just wanted to drop by and remind you how amazing I think you are. It makes me sad that you're feeling so sad, darling. Come here, hun. *Wipes your tears* *hugs*. It's gonna be okay, breathe in, breathe out.

Something that has helped me is a couple relaxing links, The Thought Room, and the Quiet Room. Maybe check them out?

You can make it through. You know I'm here if you need someone to talk to.
Stay Strong <3
   
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Re: Feeling worse than before - April 17th 2013, 11:13 AM

Thank you, Christabel. Your kindness means so much to me.


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Re: Feeling worse than before - April 17th 2013, 11:58 AM

Just remember, you are PERFECT

Nothing can change that.

You were born PERFECT, you were raised PERFECT and you are living PERFECT.

You feel weak, but you are STRONG, SMART, BEAUTIFUL, LOVED and LIKED

Your emotions make you feel otherwise, But the truth is...you are PERFECT
   
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Smile Re: Feeling worse than before - April 17th 2013, 09:53 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Bazooka View Post
Just remember, you are PERFECT

Nothing can change that.

You were born PERFECT, you were raised PERFECT and you are living PERFECT.

You feel weak, but you are STRONG, SMART, BEAUTIFUL, LOVED and LIKED

Your emotions make you feel otherwise, But the truth is...you are PERFECT
Aww, thank you. I don't think I would call myself perfect, I have my flaws, but that was so sweet of you to say.


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