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Depression and Suicide If you or a loved one is feeling depressed or suicidal, you are not alone. Talk with other users about your feelings here.

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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
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I Think Something Might Sorta be Wrong - April 28th 2013, 09:36 PM

I wouldn't say i'm 'sad' but i wouldn't say i'm happy either. I just can't do anything anymore, i cant get anything right, i'm failing like half of my classes, i'm losing half my friends, and no one really cares. And when i try to do something about how much i suck at life i don't get very far. I like open a textbook and then get overwhelmed about how stupid I am.

And i guess another thing is that iv'e been noticing that I've been doing more and more risky activity. Nothing really to bad yet but like ill take medicine when i'm not sick so i can be sleepy, and my cutting has been picking up, i'm putting even less effort into my classes then i was before. I stopped trying to make my mom happy and i just don't know what to do anymore.

I thought about killing myself, in fact, i think about it a lot. I know i cant. I really really cant, but i really really wish i could. It would be so easy and i wouldn't have to deal with anything anymore. It would just be over. Everything.

I mean whats the real point in finishing highschool, going to college, and then getting a job, and then getting married (If i'm lucky...) and then dying. Why wait?

And i think the worst part is that i really don't have that much of a sucky like. In fact i'm blessed to have the life i have. I don't deserve to feel this way because hoenstly there are tons of people who have it so much worse. I don't deserve the life i received.
   
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Re: I Think Something Might Sorta be Wrong - April 28th 2013, 10:44 PM

i think you might be deprest. you dont have to have a bad life to be deprest it hapans when there are cemicals of in your bran. you should see a tharepest to help work things out.
   
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Re: I Think Something Might Sorta be Wrong - April 28th 2013, 11:02 PM

There's a quote I enjoy
"Life is moments of great happiness and great saddness
it's the moments inbetween that are hard"
That's why life is so worth it.
Not the final byproduct or the compleation of it.
But by the journey, the experiences you go through.
They are remarkable and are the highlight.

I'm proud you aren't going to kill yourself and I hope you feel better.
Try enjoying life the way it is and doing things you like doing. I think your having problems fixing your life because you don't think it's worth fixing but it is. Just because someone is hurting more than you, doesn't mean your pain doesn't count. Work hard and you'll pull through and we're all here for you.

PM/VM if it gets to much or if you just want to talk


Every heartbreak we go through makes us the perfect person for our soulmates. Shaping us into what they've always been looking for.

Need to talk, PM me.

To people(like me) who think asking for help annoys people I say:
It would bother me if you DIDN'T ask for help.
   
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Re: I Think Something Might Sorta be Wrong - April 28th 2013, 11:06 PM

Is there an adult you could tell? Because it sounds like you want help, which is awesome.
Also, your feelings are legitimate and anyone who tells you different is rude. We can't help the way we feel. And the thing about depressions is that nothing bad has to happen to spur it. It just crawls in one day and bam, you don't want to do anything and you're sad. It's a lot like getting a cold. You don't mean to, it just happens, and you shouldn't feel bad that it has happened.
You deserve nothing but good things, and you deserve happiness.



Sorry I couldn't be there, I was tied to a rocking chair.




   
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Re: I Think Something Might Sorta be Wrong - April 29th 2013, 07:50 AM

Hey, Alex.

Sorry you're feeling this way. I can relate in some ways. I think you have depression which is something you shouldn't go through alone. Can you tell someone about how you're feeling and about your self-harm? I know it'd be really scary but having some support and help in your life would really help you in the long run. Can you tell your mom, family member, friend, a teacher, therapist, school counselor? To help, you can write it on a note and give it to them or send a text/e-mail.

Glad you're not gonna go through with suicide but it's sad you see no point, I'm sorry for that. I understand you must be feeling pretty bad to think that. Depression happens whether you have a good life or a bad one in reality. We can't control our feelings so don't feel guilty over that, alright? You have a right to have your feelings, good or bad. As for life, my opinion is that marriage, children, a career sounds normal, right? Like, meh. But really, I think when you're in the moment and you're having your own children with someone you really love, it wouldn't be "meh" at all. It'd be amazing, and such warm feelings around being able to raise children with someone you love. Then in that moment, you'd probably see and feel the point in life. Getting through all those hard things would be so worth it to be able to live and be happy.

I think that talking to someone would help, and start doing things that make you happy. Do things you enjoy and things that used to make you happy. Try new things, take up new hobbies and get interested in something new.

Hope I helped a bit! Feel free to message me anytime, Alex. I'd love to listen if you need someone to talk to.

Stay Strong <3
   
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Re: I Think Something Might Sorta be Wrong - April 29th 2013, 10:23 PM

Everybody's got a line that they walk on
Somewhere between heaven and hell
A blank slate that the world gets to write on
Pick up the chalk and get out of your shell
Now and then, you know you got to ramble
Get out, out of your comfort zone
Sometimes you have to take a gamble
You might do better with the devil you know


Truth is, there's only purpose to life if you create it for yourself. Personally, I believe that what I do in this life influences my rebirth and the lives of other beings. We all live in the shadow of death, but we know little of what came before or what comes after. The stupidity or insight of one person can cause vast repercussions in the future, even though our lives are short. Industrialization and technology has MADE life meaningless, told us we are disposable and interchangeable, pieces in a puzzle. It's still possible to live a good and fulfilling life, but don't look to school or work for the answer, unless you are honestly following your passions. Materialism and productivity provide no happiness in the end, only addiction and burnout. Good luck and feel free to PM/VM me if you would like



The neon burns a hole in the night, and the Freon burns a hole in the sky.
You can find my kind living right on the fault line, eyes on the seaside, lives on the B-side, kites on the power lines.
   
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Re: I Think Something Might Sorta be Wrong - April 30th 2013, 01:59 PM

I guess I could talk to my school counselor, especially since you could say that all this is 'effecting my school work'. I mean in all honesty my failing of the classes really just feels like laziness, but whatever. I just don't get how i'm supposed to go to my counselor and be like "My feelings... they are not good..." I just don't get how i'm supposed to walk up to anyone and dump my feelings on them.


See, heavens gotta plan for you.
   
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Re: I Think Something Might Sorta be Wrong - April 30th 2013, 05:19 PM

Counselors are meant for that. Their job is to listen to people's feelings and help them make things okay.



Sorry I couldn't be there, I was tied to a rocking chair.




   
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Re: I Think Something Might Sorta be Wrong - May 1st 2013, 03:10 AM

Katie's right. So I think it'd be really great if you could talk to the counselor.
   
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