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Ella.x Offline
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I need help - June 26th 2013, 08:07 PM

I've had a lot of problems and a few months ago, I hit rock bottom. Couldn't get out of bed, couldn;t look after myself etc. I thought I was getting better and am back at work now, but the cycle has started again. After nearly 2 months self harm free, I'm back at it with a vengeance. I am feeling incredible suicidal, but I am too scared to phone anyone because I don't know what to say. I am about to self harm again. Can anyone help me?
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Re: I need help - June 26th 2013, 09:09 PM

I don't know what will help you, but I used to have some serious self-esteem issues and what helped me was...don't laugh now, I'm being serious...but it was Jesus. It didn't happen over night; it was gradual. Sometimes I look back on who I used to be and laugh, shake my my head. I was really screwed up on the inside, let's just leave it at that. And I'm still a little messed up, but we're working on that.
I don't know everything about you and your situation is different, but Jesus helped me, and maybe if you let Him, He'll help you.
And please don't be afraid to reach out. Call someone if you need them. Please. Death is not the end of all things. Please reach out.
I hope you're alright. Don't worry, I know of many people who have found Jesus during their darkest times, when they hit rock bottom. I hope you find Him. It'll be alright. Stay strong (easier said than done, right?)
- Collies R Us

"Be strong and bold; have no fear or dread of them, because it is the LORD your God who goes with you; he will not fail you or forsake you." (Deut. 31:6 NRSV of the Bible)
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Re: I need help - June 26th 2013, 10:40 PM

Thanks for the reply. I self harmed. Needed stitches, but I left a&e before they had time to stitch me up. It's quite possible I'll have the police at my door before the night is out. The urge to hurt myself is still there. I don't know what to do
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Re: I need help - June 26th 2013, 10:47 PM

You said that you were getting better and then you returned to work? Is it because of work that it causes you to be that way? Sometimes stress can have a seriously high impact and it can trigger depression.
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Re: I need help - June 27th 2013, 05:21 PM

Yepp. The police arrived not long after I posted this. I avoided being sectioned though.
It's a very stressful job, but I don't go home feeling stressed, I go home feeling good. The stress of my job is a nice distraction from how I feel. I've had a few different jobs and this is the one where I've been at my happiest.
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Re: I need help - June 30th 2013, 12:42 AM

Well, it sounds like you need to find something that is NOT stressful for you, but rather is in fact satisfying and causes a fair amount of happiness. I realize you said that you go home feeling good, but still...your day is stressful, right? Is there any way you can find something to do during the day, even if it's just for 10 or 20 minutes, that will help you to feel better overall, and maybe release some of the tension that you have from the other things going on in your life? Maybe religion will help, or perhaps you prefer artistic expression, or meditation/relaxation, or even just playing a really enjoyable game of cards or chess with a coworker. Whatever it might be, try to find something that you can give yourself to look forward to.

As far as harming yourself, it's a really bad habit that is probably going to do a lot more harm than good in the long run. You can go to www.teenhelp.org/alternatives to get a large list of different things that you might want to do besides self-harming. I hope this helps, and please feel free to contact me if you need anything at all.

You can always contact me to talk about anything!
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last updated on 11/11/17
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