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......nobody Offline
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... Why me? - April 9th 2015, 12:16 AM

I want to do it, I want to commit the big S. My internship is not going well, I can't seem to find the courage to get up and goo to it every day, and I'm really lacking in hours that I need. I am convinced I will fail my torts class because I haven't been attending class either. Things just aren't going like I wanted them to. My mom continuously asks why I'm taking medicine for my hallucinations, she's one of those devout Christians without an open mind and thinks that everything is spiritual - not that I'm dissing Christianity because I am one, but she's just a little too spiritual. So today I had set up an appointment for she and my doctor to talk to each other so that she would have a better understanding of what's going on, well, she told me to cancel it and said that she didn't care what I did anymore.

I wish my mom were more supportive Now my dad, he's awesome throughout this whole thing. He reminds me to take my medicine and even understands what's going on, and he has even tried talking to my mom and she still doesn't understand. I crave affection and understanding from her, but she just doesn't dish it out.

I don't want to die but I don't really feel I have a chance at a normal life if I don't get this degree. I hate to work part time the rest of my life, but that's the only thing I can work at, because of my mental health I cannot do full time work. I don't know how I'm going to live, I really don't. I want to end my life on my own terms. I even know how I want to do it.
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Green Yoshi Offline
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Re: ... Why me? - April 9th 2015, 12:43 PM

talk more to your dad and you gotta remember that sometimes, one's belief can cloud people's judgement and prevent them from doing the right thing. What i do know is that you can never give up. Plenty of people who have had mental health issues end up living a happy , long life . and i know that you can do this too.

and i hope your mom eventually opens up , and see how things really are. The most important thing to remember is that the suffering is only going to be there now.. but once you overcome it, thing's will get better.

Start going for class more often.. you do deserve to pass everything, and gain the opportunity to have many, many smiles as well as even more happy experiences.

If you need someone to rant to, i'll always be around. i'll never not be around!

It's called a tunnel because there's ALWAYS a light at the end.

rant to me if there's anything!



As usual... pm me if you are ever having a tough day, and I'll respond immediately.

You guys deserve to be happy no matter what.. okay? You people are a bunch of lovelies ... and no matter what, you people deserve to be happy.
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Re: ... Why me? - April 15th 2015, 08:03 AM

It's good to hear that your dad is supportive, so talking to him more is definitely a good idea. As for your mom, she may simply not understand entirely what you are going through, which is why it is important for her to attend an appointment with your doctor if you can convince her to. I'm sure it's not that she "doesn't care" - it sounds more as if it may be a lack of understanding.

You are right about education being very important and it's great that you are so passionate about it, but it is not worth ending your life over. If possible, perhaps even take a small break from school if you are able until you are in a better place. In any event, I wish you well and hope things get better.

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