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Rainbow Cookies Offline
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just sad - April 28th 2015, 03:17 AM

I'm not exactly sure if this is going to make any sense but here goes.

I am completely overwhelmed with stuff and I work to get it all done but then I put something off so I can get a second to breath and end up in an even bigger ditch than before. I have one fun thing that I like to do but my mom said that I have to stop because I don't have time. She says that she is sorry and she knows how I'm feeling but it's the only break I have and if I don't have that break I will completely loose any sanity that I have left. She is a very nice person but she doesn't really know how I feel or what I'm really going through. In comparison to so many other people my life is great but it is just too much for me and this makes me feel like an ass for not being able to handle this. I have migraines from stress and cry myself to sleep every other night. I spend my days worrying about everything I do because I'm one of those people who care a lot about what other people think because I'm afraid of disappointing them. I wish that I didn't care so much because it would make my life so much easier but no matter what I still have to make everything perfect and do every thing right. I hate myself when I don't do something perfectly or close to. I make myself feel like shit and I know at least part of this I am doing to myself but I cant get myself to relax. I have so much to do and no time. Half of this crap I shouldn't even be doing but I get myself into it because I don't want to disappoint people. Another part of it is just amount which would be less if I wasn't such an idiot who decided to put things off and completely screw everything up. Even on weekends I'm just sad. I keep telling myself that I'm almost there, almost done but that's not true. I don't even know what there is.

Thanks for reading to my rant.
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L4Y Offline
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Re: just sad - April 28th 2015, 02:26 PM

I'm sorry to hear you are feeling so stressed and overwhelmed. You mentioned that your mother is unaware of what you are dealing with and I was wondering, have you ever considered opening up to her? It may help her understand your situation better and perhaps realize that you need to do something fun once in a while to maintain a balance in your life.

It can be easy to fall into a trap of trying to please and/or help everyone around us, but we also must remember to take care of ourselves as well. Sometimes we simply have to take a step back and not be as concerned with what others think and worry about our own well-being (although I realize that is often easier said than done).

In any event, it sounds as if these feelings are taking a toll on you and I do hope you have someone in your life that you can open up to - if not your mom, then maybe another family member, friend or someone else. I wish you well and hope things improve soon.
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