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Depression and Suicide If you or a loved one is feeling depressed or suicidal, you are not alone. Talk with other users about your feelings here.

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lyxsa Offline
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Name: Alyssa
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Question Need To Escape - April 28th 2015, 11:44 PM

Hello I'm Alyssa and I'm 16 years old.
I've had depression and anxiety for a couple of years now. I've made 2 suicide attempts and many many contemplations. The thing is though.. I don't think I want to die. Well, I know that I don't. But I don't want to live the life that I'm living. Ever since I could remember I've been wanting to travel. I'm actually craving it... I need to go out and explore and have fun and be free but I can't because of school and I have no money and I'm underaged blah blah blah. The idea of all of these beautiful sights and different people makes me feel so happy but I'm stuck in my house with a family who doesn't respect me. I'm the black sheep of the family and it's like no matter what I say or do I'm wrong, stupid, and irresponsible. My "friends" call me stupid, dumbass, retarded, and all sorts of other names. I know that sounds weak but after a while I start to believe them... The things that are said to me on a daily basis make my thoughts worse and make me hate myself :c I don't want to be here anymore. I need to leave my town and adventure or else I seriously think I'm going to end up killing myself. So, with all of that information given, what should I do? Should I runaway? or should I just save myself the trouble..? I dunno please help me I feel trapped :c
   
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Re: Need To Escape - April 29th 2015, 02:10 AM

Hi, Alyssa: I'm sorry to hear you are feeling trapped and unhappy. Unfortunately, the way you are feeling is something that many people struggle with and it's not always possible for everyone to simply pick up and take off.

In regard to running away, I honestly don't think that would be a good idea. Being so young and without money, going out on your own could put you in a bad - and possibly even dangerous - situation.

Instead, I would suggest perhaps making some changes in your life as it is right now. If you are not happy at home, is there possibly a friend or another family member that you could stay with?

In regard to your friends, if they are not treating you respectfully, perhaps it is time to find a new circle of people to be around. You certainly do not deserve to be spoken to in such a hurtful manner and I'm sure there are plenty of people who would be happy to have you as a friend.

I'm sure travel will come a little later on in your life, but until then, maybe there is some action you can take to improve on your current situation that will allow you to be happier. All the best to you.
   
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Re: Need To Escape - April 29th 2015, 04:09 AM

Hey.

First things first. Get new friends. You yourself have acknowledged that these are not true friends.trust me when I say that there are better friend out their. These people will respect you and love you for you. I find that the best way to make a friend is to be a friend yourself. Find the person who sits alone at lunch or chooses to work alone during partner work. Be kind to them and they will be kind back. Even if you don't have any common interests you will still have a person to talk to.

Also I is great that you want to travel. That's an amazing goal. I know it seems like a long time to wait until you can but hang in there. A good way to tide you over is a pre scrapbook. Instead of making a book of everything you did, make a book of every thing you will do. Get pictures online, make yourself an itinerary for every day, even look at hotels and flights online. Get very specific and have fun with it. Make your dream vacation. Most importantly remind yourself that you will get there one day.

Hang in there and good luck
Always here if you need help. Or a hug. I'm good with those too.

Emma

The people who mind don't matter and the people who matter don't mind.

If you judge a fish on its ability to climb a tree it will live its live believing it is stupid.
   
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Re: Need To Escape - April 29th 2015, 06:44 PM

First of all, do not kill yourself and do not Run away. You are only 16, you have your entire life to go and see the world! I know how you feel, when I was 16, I wanted to run away and hop trains all over the country, and when I was 17, I made plans to solo sail the world (which I still want to do). When you are 16, there's really not alot of chance for adventure, that's a fact for most 16 year old kids. What should you do? Be patient. Look for chances to get out locally for now, camping trips, seeing a few close by places, etc. When I was your age, I was in the middle of no where living in my grandmas basement, I hardly ever left, and because of it I was very depressed, and like you I looked online and found wonderful places and just dreamed of visiting them, getting out and experiencing life! and it's a good way to be, but you can't let the negative emotions rule you. You can set any path for yourself at this stage in your life. Don't think too too far ahead, just think of where you'd like to see yourself and work on paving the path to get there. If you ever need to talk about any of it, Im open for a talk!
   
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