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Depression and Suicide If you or a loved one is feeling depressed or suicidal, you are not alone. Talk with other users about your feelings here.

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dunno what to do - May 5th 2015, 07:26 AM

This thread has been labeled as triggering, particularly on the subject of suicide, by the original poster or by a Moderator. The contents of this thread therefore might not be suitable for certain sensitive users. Please take this into consideration before continuing to read.

I don't know what I'm doing in my life. I just want to not live this life. I want to die, but feel I'm being selfish. I've no one to talk to. Pretty sure my dad saw my arm today and didn't/doesn't want to say anything about it . Whether it's he doesn't know how to respond or how to talk to me, I don't know, but I just want to be old enough to leave. Once I get my license, I'm going to drive away. I'm done. I just don't want to do this anymore. I hate myself; I don't know what to do. I have friends, but none of them would understand what I'm feeling. I don't know. How do I fill this void other than killing myself? I want to break all the friendships I have so I'm just alone. I want to be alone so no one will care when I'm gone.
   
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Re: dunno what to do - May 5th 2015, 06:52 PM

Hi there,

Suicide is never the answer to anything. You have a life and you have a future and it can be anything you want it to be if you work for it. This is going to be a hard fight but you can do it, you can get through it and you will get there. Beating these nasty feelings and thoughts is possible and you won't feel this way forever. I know that's easy for me to say, but I have been there and that's how I know it's possible. Beating feelings of depression is possible and I believe in you. Suicidal thoughts aren't nice, but they're just thoughts, they aren't going to hurt you and the only way they are going to hurt you is if YOU act on them. Have you tried using distractions when you feel this low? Things like watching TV, reading, writing, running, cooking, petting animals etc. It can really help. Another thing is to maybe set yourself some goals that you would like to achieve in the future and so when you feel like the suicidal thoughts are getting too much, you can look back at the goals you have for the future it and will remind you of what you want.

Breaking of friendships isn't going to help and I actually want to encourage you to talk to friends. Yes its scary and it may be hard but they're your friends, its what they're there for. They care about you and love you to hell and back and they will want whats best for you like other people such as your family. And we're always here too. You never have to be alone in this.

Just know it gets better but don't be afraid to reach out for help. This isn't the end for you. You can go so much further so keep on fighting.

Jessie


"Only in the dark, can you see the stars..."
Josie 12/3/2014, always in my heart. Sue 19/2/2016; Peter, Ellie, Hannah, Andy, Kirtsie RIP.

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