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Depression and Suicide If you or a loved one is feeling depressed or suicidal, you are not alone. Talk with other users about your feelings here.

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Post I don't know where else to post - May 15th 2015, 03:12 AM

This thread has been labeled as triggering, particularly on the subject of suicide, by the original poster or by a Moderator. The contents of this thread therefore might not be suitable for certain sensitive users. Please take this into consideration before continuing to read.

OTHER TRIGGERS: ANXIETY, DEPRESSION, ETC...

I feel bad posting this here but I cannot think of anywhere else to talk about it. If I post on social networks then people I know will freak out & etc...

I just cannot take the pain anymore. I feel bad because I know that people have bad things happen to them daily and none of them give up. Nothing horrible has happened to me in the past 10 years, nothing that would cause me to feel this badly. I wake up every morning and wish that I did not. At this point, I have nobody besides my family. They are good people but they do not understand and some of them would not even bother to. I have one friend and have only had that one friend for the past three years, and I rarely even talk to her. I have never had a boyfriend or anything like that either. Besides my family, I am alone. I have been for most of my 20 years of life and I think that fact makes me feel worse than I already do. Besides the depression, I have awful anxiety that makes it nearly impossible for me to make friends and meet people.
At this point, I feel like I have nothing to live for. I do not care about my job, or school. It doesn't make me happy, I only do it because I just have to. I have nobody in my life, no one to talk to, nothing. Nothing brings me joy anymore, and really nothing has for years. I have been struggling, trying to convince myself to keep living for almost five years now. It physically hurts me to stay alive. I have tried to commit once in the past. I often wish I had been successful. I wish that I could try again, too, but I'm scared that I won't do something right and I'll just end up in the hospital with an abundance of medical bills. I don't know what to do and my head feels like I might explode because It just doesn't seem like I have any option. I can't stay alive, but I can't die either. I guess I just thought writing this out here would help me.
   
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Re: I don't know where else to post - May 15th 2015, 04:20 PM

Hey there.

I'm glad you wrote this out on here, did you feel any better?
You feel like nothing is going right for you but sometime in your life, it will. It may not be now but sometime in the near future.
TeenHelp is a great cyber environment to make friends, I've made loads and they're lovely lovely people
Feel free to send me a PM/VM anytime I'd be happy to lend a ear or a shoulder for you to cry on


Emily


Survivors have Scars. Victims have Graves.
   
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Re: I don't know where else to post - May 15th 2015, 05:12 PM

I'm sorry you are feeling this way. I'm glad you decided to post here if you feel you have nowhere else to express yourself.

I have seen quite a few other people describe what you are speaking of - being in pain and feeling depressed, but not quite able to pinpoint why. It sounds as if the loneliness you spoke of is likely a large contributor. Perhaps there is a way you could get out and meet new people, such as joining a league or club in your community?

If you feel there may be more causes for your depression, you could also look into speaking to a therapist of some kind if you believe it might help. They may be able to help you sort through some of what you are feeling. Best wishes.
   
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