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dartfrogged Offline
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Exclamation I don't know what to do! - May 16th 2015, 09:48 PM

This thread has been labeled as triggering by the original poster or by a Moderator. Please take this into consideration before continuing to read.

One of my friends has a list of issues. He's got a crap ton of disphoria (dysphoria?) relating to his having two X chromosomes, can eat barely anything due to extensive allergies and intolerance, has anorexia on top of that, lives in a low-income home, is depressed, has ADHD, and I don't even know the rest.

He handed me a suicide note a few months ago, which I gave to the school counselor, and he ended up going to see a psychotherapist and everything seemed to be looking up. So school is out. We'll be graduating friday. He emailed me yesterday telling me he felt like giving up again.

I don't know what to do. Nothing I say helps, but I feel responsible for his continued life, because I'm the only one he comes to, even when I tell someone else, like his mom or counselor. He tells me about how hopeless it all seems and I hug him or hold him or email him with this four paragraph thing on how wonderful and worthwhile he is, and he replies something like 'I guess, but I don't really think so', and I don't give up on people but I feel like I've switched places with Atlas. I'm juggling abuse and depression and anxiety and now I'm also holding his problems as well, but I can't just turn my back and say I have my own stuff to deal with because he needs me.

So help?

Last edited by dartfrogged; May 17th 2015 at 12:16 AM.
   
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L4Y Offline
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Re: I don't know what to do! - May 16th 2015, 11:44 PM

First off, kudos to you for being so loyal to your friend. Having someone we trust and feel cares for us is something so vital to anyone dealing with depression and/or suicidal thoughts.

At the same time, you have to take care of yourself as well, of course, and it can be a tricky juggle when you are dealing with similar issues (as you've discovered). I feel the best thing you can do for both of you is to continue to listen and support him as much as you are able to without taking too much focus off of your own problems. Perhaps even begin confiding in him about your own struggles if you believe you can. Not only will this provide you with a sounding board of your own, but it may also show your friend that he is not alone in dealing with these problems and strengthen the friendship between the two of you.

I wish you both well and hope everything works out.
   
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