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Depression and Suicide If you or a loved one is feeling depressed or suicidal, you are not alone. Talk with other users about your feelings here.

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Dylan Blue Offline
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I'm Just Done - May 30th 2015, 03:15 AM

This thread has been labeled as triggering, particularly on the subject of suicide, by the original poster or by a Moderator. The contents of this thread therefore might not be suitable for certain sensitive users. Please take this into consideration before continuing to read.

I've been planning my death for a while now..
I’ve been told “Go kill yourself”, By this one kid… And that broke my heart, because honestly, he is a bully, Not knowing that I’d actually try to do it... Kat, she always said “Don’t leave me”.. But what if I’m ready, I’m desperate to leave. I think of it as a game, The first one to die is the winner… No one will know, Instead of grabbing a pencil and a paper, you grab the chair and the rope. You're in tears and you know it's for real this time. You set up the video camera and step on the chair, your home alone. Tie the rope around your neck and talk into the camera “Mom, dad, I’m sorry.. I don't know why I’m sorry but I am”. You have the remote in your hand to turn off the camera, you press it.. Your feet are now off the chair. You're dead, you're gone, It’s over‏... I'm . Just. Done.
   
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Re: I'm Just Done - May 30th 2015, 03:49 AM

Hi Dylan,

I am so sorry you're feeling this way. A lot of us here at TeenHelp know and understand exactly how you're feeling. I myself was bullied a lot especially when I was in high school. I know how much others' words can hurt. If you really feel like you are at risk of hurting yourself, please, please call the suicide hotline. Unfortunately we here are not professionals, we can only help so much, but we will be here to encourage you any step of the way.

Trust me when I say that life gets easier, and it becomes more bearable. I know that doesn't mean much when you're sitting at rock bottom, but that is my promise to you. Someday, somehow, it will be better. Never hesitate to reach out to me or any of the others here on TH. You can message me at any time.

- renai.


it's just a spark, but it's enough to keep me going. and when it's dark out, no one's around, it keeps glowing.

the truth hurts but it hasn't stung enough to stop me.

see, you're just wasted and thinking 'bout the past again, darling, you'll be okay.

You are altogether beautiful, my darling, beautiful in every way. - song of songs 4:7
   
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Re: I'm Just Done - May 30th 2015, 09:36 PM

Hi there.

It sounds like you're going through a really rough time and I'm really sorry to hear that. But it really is great that you have come to us for help and support. To me that proves that part of you wants to get out in a good way, that you want to fight. Otherwise why would you even bother?

I know this is really hard when you have such intrusive thoughts but remember they're just thoughts. They aren't going to hurt you. The only way that they are going to hurt you is if you act on them. I know it's hard to fight them but you can fight them and beat them and get through to the other side. I honestly believe that. And I honestly believe you can do so otherwise I wouldn't be here writing this. You have to do things to take your mind of it, to help you through the moment, to distract yourself. Have you seen our list of alternatives in the self harm forum? Take a look at them. Not all of them are going to help you so its about trying things again and again and trial and error, you know?

Suicide isn't the answer. You have your whole life ahead of you and I know you can fight through the thoughts and have that future, the future that you want. It can be anything you want it to be so make plans and goals and aim for them. Short term and long term and don't be afraid. Also, I was wondering whether you have anyone to talk too? We're always here for you for one and we will support you as best as we can but sometimes it can honestly, really help to have the support in the community, face to face. So talking to people like friends and family are great places to start. Or you could talk to a teacher, a school nurse or counselor or you doctor. These people all care about you and want to help you as much as they can but can only do so if they know what's going on for you.

I know you can do this so keep fighting. Stay strong.
Jessie


"Only in the dark, can you see the stars..."
Josie 12/3/2014, always in my heart. Sue 19/2/2016; Peter, Ellie, Hannah, Andy, Kirtsie RIP.

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Re: I'm Just Done - May 31st 2015, 12:51 AM

Words can be hurtful, but as you said, that person is a bully and not worth your consideration. It sounds as if you have someone you mentioned that cares a great deal for you and those are the things worth living for. Best wishes.
   
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