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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
strayalicat Offline
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Unhappy nothing left to do. - June 15th 2015, 04:07 AM

This thread has been labeled as triggering, particularly on the subject of suicide, by the original poster or by a Moderator. The contents of this thread therefore might not be suitable for certain sensitive users. Please take this into consideration before continuing to read.

I have never been this depressed before my boyfriend just broke up with me for being too much drama I stopped cutting for him five months ago because I was becoming too much for him but apparently I still cause drama idk what to do:"( I've never hurt this bad before:"( and he was the only reason I haven't killed myself yet:"( I think I'm going to just end my life tonight I'm officially unwanted by everyone I know:"(. I think this will be my last goodbye. I sure have misses the cold kiss of a blade and I think it sounds like a lovely thing to say goodbye with.
  (#2 (permalink)) Old
Amandaapandaa Offline
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Re: nothing left to do. - June 15th 2015, 04:14 AM


I'm sorry to hear what you're going through and I've experienced how you feel right now. It's so hard to overcome break ups but you have so much to live for still. I know it seemed like he was the only thing you were truly living for but dont give up hope. I promise you your situation will get better. You just have to take one day at a time and believe you can make it through each day. Whether it be distracting yourself with school or friends or family or any activity so that you aren't alone.

You have so much potential and taking your life isn't the best option even though I know that you feel like its the only option. Look at it this way, killing yourself just eliminates the possibility of ever getting better or having the life you want. Only you have control over your life and I know you won't regret staying here. Please don't go.

If you need me, I'm just a message away.

I'm always here for you. Keep your chin up and don't let anyone bring you down.

Stars can't shine without darkness.


'I have this strange feeling that I'm not myself anymore...'
  (#3 (permalink)) Old
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Re: nothing left to do. - June 15th 2015, 04:22 AM

I'm so sorry you are struggling. But you can get through this. Everybody struggles sometimes. I've been through some rough break-ups before. if you need someone to talk to, messgae me.

"I've decided to stick with love. Hate is too great aburden to bear." Martin Luther king Jr.
  (#4 (permalink)) Old
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Re: nothing left to do. - June 15th 2015, 09:56 AM

Hi, Ali.

I am so sorry about your boyfriend breaking up with you and how you're feeling. I can understand why you'd feel so low, Ali, I really do. No one can say it's easy or tell you what you're going through isn't valid. Understandably I can imagine you're hurting so much right now. A break-up isn't easy, and you'll have many feelings that are normal. Let yourself cry and let your feelings out, you're welcome to let your feelings out here too by talking about it more if you'd like, okay?

Look around and try to think about the other important people in your life. It's understandable to feel unwanted after a break-up, but try focusing on ways that you are wanted and loved in unconditional ways by people like your parents, your family and friends. Reminding yourself that you are loved by those around you is really important. On that note, can you talk to anyone in your life about the break-up? Being able to open up and get feelings off your chest can help so much. Here's a helpful thread explaining the people in your life who can help you through the tough times.

Practicing self-care and getting into a routine of treating yourself nice and the way you deserve could make a positive difference also. Take time to step back from all of this, the break-up, the feelings, write it down on a piece of paper and shred it. And immerse yourself in a hobby or relaxing distracting that you really enjoy. Such as doing crafts, watching a favorite movie with your favorite snacks. Spending time with your pets, relaxing and taking a bath etc. Do what makes you happy and treat yourself like you would a friend. Try doing positive things for yourself when you can.

After going through a heartbreak when you're already struggling with issues, I can see how it'd be tempting to resort to unhealthier coping mechanisms especially since your boyfriend helped you stop self-harming. But expressing your feelings in healthy ways is much better for your emotional health and may help you down a path of taking care of yourself in a newfound independence by doing this for you, because you deserve it. Perhaps you could keep a journal to write down your feelings, thoughts and things going on in your life? Or alternatively you could write in your blog here on TeenHelp! Expressing yourself in creative writing and expressive hobbies might be therapeutic as well. Such as poetry, story-writing, photography, drawing/painting, music etc. The self-harm alternatives may help right now as it includes different things to do when you're having self-harm urges and are feeling sad, lonely etc. Along with that, here's a list of hotlines to call if you feel unsafe or are really struggling, there's a list of hotlines for several different issues.

How about making a list of reasons to live, similar to this list put together by the members of TeenHelp? By reminding yourself of happier things you want to experience, discover and explore along with making goals, it could help you find motivation to keep fighting. Think of your future and how you want it to be and what type of person you want to be, then work on shaping it the way you want. Life is a journey full of ups and downs, and while it can be really sad and painful, it's also really beautiful too. There's always sunnier days after the stormy ones. Your feelings are understandable and you're completely allowed to have your feelings. I just really hope you know that you're so much more important than this, your life is worth more than this. I know you're having a really hard time, but these feelings won't last forever. No one can say it's easy right now, but it will get easier soon. Just keep holding on because there'll come a time when you can smile again even if it feels like you'll never feel better right now. You're 15 and have so many wonderful things to live for and experience. Time heals, and these experiences help us grow as a person, gain strength and learn about ourselves.

You're welcome to continue writing back, and you can also message me if you'd like someone to talk to, okay? I say that to a lot of people but I always mean it. Everyone needs to be able to vent and have someone listen to their feelings. I hope you're feeling a little better and staying safe. In the meantime, stay strong because you can get through this. Even if it feels like you can't. You're stronger than you know and have so much to live for outside of this, Ali, don't forget that!

Last edited by DeletedAccount11; June 15th 2015 at 10:15 AM. Reason: Forgot to space a paragraph!
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Re: nothing left to do. - June 16th 2015, 06:30 PM

Ali: I'm very sorry for the pain your breakup is causing you. I don't doubt it is incredibly hurtful, but the fact that you have gone five months without cutting proves your strength. The difference now is that perhaps it's time to refrain from self-harming not for someone else, but for you.

Again, I'm sorry for the pain this has brought you. But please remember that nobody is worth your life. Perhaps try and speak to your boyfriend and explain that your problems are not "drama," but simply unfortunate circumstances that you have to deal with which are part of your life, at least for the moment. I wish you well. Take care.
  (#6 (permalink)) Old
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Re: nothing left to do. - June 16th 2015, 08:31 PM


I am so sorry that you are going through such a tough time right now but its brilliant that you have reached out to use for some help. Going through a break up can be such a difficult thing to go through and a lot of us have been there so we can relate to what you're going through but we could never fully understand. But know that it's okay to feel sad and upset and low and alone and whatever else you are feeling. I know it's hard but you can get through this.

Treat yourself. Pamper yourself. Have a nice bubble bath with some candles and music playing. Paint your nails. Put on some make up and make an effort with your clothing. Don't wack a hoody and leggings on, make a good effort to make yourself feel good about YOU. Because he shouldn't be the only reason you're not self harm. You can find other people to help you give a reason for you not to self harm but I also think its really important for you not to self harm for you because you are what is important in this. You deserve to be self harm free for you. Maybe you could create some reasons to not self harm and create it into a brain map or poster etc and stick it up on your wall because you have a lot more reasons not to self harm other than your now ex.

Have you looked at our list of alternatives? Here it is.. http://www.teenhelp.org/forums/f12-s...ves-self-harm/. Not everything is going to help you but some things will so keep trying the things that don't and keep trying new things too. And as long as you're doing something, you aren't self harming. You can try things like getting a cold bath, putting ice against your skin etc too. Some people don't find them useful and thats fair enough but they're worth a try. The reason self harm helps us is because it releases endorphin's when we cause harm to ourselves. Things like running does the same so maybe you could so running or something else that releases endorphin's. Self harm only tends to help for a little while. If it really helped, we'd do it once and we wouldn't need to do it again. But that isn't normally the case. We self harm and feel a bit better and then a while later we feel the need to self harm again.

Suicide is not the answer. In fact don't even allow it to be an option. You have your whole life to live for and there's so much for you to do and see and become. You can do anything you want to and be anyone you want to be. Make a list of reasons to live but make it your list. Make it full of things that YOU wan to live for. Reasons you can keep going. I know this is all really hard because going through a break up is a difficult thing but you ARE worth more than self harm and deserve so much more than it and you deserve a life. You don't deserve to put yourself through the pain that you would be okay? You are strong enough to get through this and fight through the hard times and to get through those difficult thoughts. You have a life worth living so keep at it and don't give up, okay? We're always here for you.

Stay strong and fight. You've got this.

"Only in the dark, can you see the stars..."
Josie 12/3/2014, always in my heart. Sue 19/2/2016; Peter, Ellie, Hannah, Andy, Kirtsie RIP.

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