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Depression and Suicide If you or a loved one is feeling depressed or suicidal, you are not alone. Talk with other users about your feelings here.

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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
Treble Offline
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Thinking about ending it tonight - June 20th 2015, 07:30 PM

This thread has been labeled as triggering, particularly on the subject of suicide, by the original poster or by a Moderator. The contents of this thread therefore might not be suitable for certain sensitive users. Please take this into consideration before continuing to read.

ok, so I'm not entirely sure exactly why I'm posting this here because my mind is already made up, but I dont know I just feel alone right now and I guess just looking for some comfort or something...

The thing is that I don't want to live, and I dont deserve to. I mess everything up, I ruin everyone's life, I'm beyond useless and completely incapable of being happy. I know what you're going to say... There's always another option... Think of your friends and family and how they will feel... Try looking at all the positives in your life... You have your whole life ahead of you... You're a wonderful person and deserve to live as much as anyone else. I've heard it all before and nothing has helped. I feel like I'm just crawling further and further into a black hole, and now I'm too far in to be saved.

[Edited by Lizzie]

Last edited by Lizzie; June 21st 2015 at 02:45 PM.
   
  (#2 (permalink)) Old
Thereishope Offline
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Re: Ending it tonight - June 20th 2015, 10:32 PM

Hey there!

I'm sorry you're feeling like this but this is not the answer. I myself have had the same thoughts before. Things can and will get better. Please feel free to message me if you want to talk. I'll talk about anything you want.


Can't stop now, I've traveled so far. - Foreigner

I could have missed the pain, but I'd have had to miss the dance. - Garth Brooks


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  (#3 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Ending it tonight - June 20th 2015, 11:40 PM

Hi there.

You must be going through so much right now to even be considering this. I am so sorry for that. I was wondering if you wanted to talk about your feelings, and how you got to this point? Talking about it can help a lot, and I'm definitely happy to listen if you'd like to talk about what got you to feeling this way. Because I imagine you have a lot more to offer than you realize, and I think all the negativity you experienced has clouded you from the fact that life has a lot more to offer than this pain.

Can I point out something? You still posted here even though you said your mind was made up. To me, that seems like maybe there's a part of you that wants to be talked out of this. Like maybe the depression is taking over and making you want to go through with suicide, but the light and hope inside wants someone to tell you everything will be okay. If that's the case, that's a really positive thing.

I highly doubt you've ever ruined anyone's life, what makes you feel that way? As humans in association with each other, we've all upset one another or done something wrong, that makes us human, you know? Your mistakes don't make you who you are, the fact you have compassion and regret for things says a lot about you. You're not useless at all, you're capable of so much more good than you know. So work on giving yourself the much-deserved forgiveness. Be kind to yourself and treat yourself like you would a friend. Do something that makes you happy, treat yourself to something really relaxing like a favorite beverage/snack and a childhood favorite movie, a relaxing walk or a bath. Getting a pet could help give you some clarity. Kittens for example can be therapeutic as they're something something that depends on you and makes you smile.

There has to be something or someone you want to live for. I realize this is a really basic realization and you already mentioned it, but I'll say it again, you truly do have a lot to live for. I mean, you're only 16, you know? Think of how much everything can change within a few years. By creating positive ways of living and introducing positive, healthy things into your life, so much can change in a good way. Plus, part of life is natural change. Every single day is a new day and anything can happen.

You know, I can take in some understanding and realize you have to have been through a lot more than I can imagine, and have to be struggling so much to be seriously considering suicide. I won't tell you that life is easy, but I will tell you that it's worth it and that you're worth it. I truly believe that. Because everyone is special and significant in their own ways, this makes them irreplaceable. After all, there will never be anyone that looks, says, sounds and does everything exactly like you. Everyone has a certain kind of uniqueness that makes them who they are and sets them apart from everyone else in the most positive way. I'm sure you have a lot of unique things about you that people around you have come to appreciate and love.

We all have an impact in the lives of people around us whether we realize it or not. You simply smiling or doing a kind act could make them realize the good they have in their life. You do seem like a kind person who's just been through so much, and I imagine you mean a lot to those in your life. And also, I hope you continue holding on to hope, mainly for you because you're worth it and you can do this. Try to focus on one thought, one person and one hope to keep you going. Who's important to you, who makes you happy, what do you want to experience, and what do you wish for in your future? When the present is hard, focus on the positives like you said, but when that's difficult as well, focus on what could be in the future if you continue fighting.

I am so sorry you feel like this, I really am. Especially to have it planned and planning to do it this soon. But while I don't know you very well, I really, really do care and hope you don't go through with this. I hope you keep fighting through this because you're strong enough. And at some point in your future, I strongly believe you'll have such happy times that you'll be so thankful you never went through with suicide. Life is really hard sometimes and I imagine you've been through a lot, but that's not all for nothing, okay? All the negatives can help us realize just how strong we are, to show us we can keep going until the storm is over. You deserve to experience the inevitable happy moments.

Can you tell anyone how you feel and the fact that you're considering suicide? You deserve support and now would be the time to reach out. If you feel unsafe, call a hotline, spend time in the company of someone you trust, or call an ambulance. Through this, I understand it must be really hard but you aren't alone, okay? Please keep writing here and you're also welcome to PM me if you need someone to talk to. I really hope you stay safe, I'm gonna be keeping an eye on this thread in hopes you reply back. I know I don't know you but like I said, I still care. I'll be thinking of you and praying for you. Just know you can get through this, stay strong.

Last edited by DeletedAccount11; June 21st 2015 at 12:01 AM.
   
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Re: Ending it tonight - June 21st 2015, 05:29 AM

Please don't do it. You deserve to live. I know you said don't say rhat but please, if you're reading this, I beg you to think again. Please.
   
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Re: Thinking about ending it tonight - June 21st 2015, 05:13 PM

I hope you are still with us. I'm sure you haven't ruined anyone's life. Things such as that are done deliberately and maliciously and I'm sure anyone close to you would say the same. Best wishes.
   
  (#6 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Thinking about ending it tonight - June 22nd 2015, 04:19 PM

Hi guys, I'm still alive, I've just been let out of hospital. But I'm ok.
   
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Re: Thinking about ending it tonight - June 22nd 2015, 06:09 PM

I'm glad you're okay. I hope you keep yourself safe from now on. But I'm sorry you had gotten to this point. How are you feeling today?
   
  (#8 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Thinking about ending it tonight - June 22nd 2015, 09:37 PM

Hi there.

I am sorry you have been feeling so low but glad you are okay.

I know it's really hard but do you try using alternatives and distractions when you get the thoughts? Here is a link to some idea's: http://www.teenhelp.org/forums/f12-s...ves-self-harm/ Remember not everything is gunna help you so its about trial and error, trying things again and again and using the ones which do help. What ever you are using, you're doing it and it means that you're not engaging in dangerous behaviours and staying safe so its working but you cant let the thoughts get you, you have to keep choosing recovery again and again and again and thats choosing to distract yourself again and again and again and continuing to keep yourself busy even if it isn't helping. Whats important is that YOU stay safe because you are whats important in this.

Also talking to people can be a great help. We're for one are always here. Always will be, but as hard as it can be sometimes its more beneficial to talk to someone in "real life" and I can speak from experience there too. Talking to friends, family, your doctor, a counselor, a teacher, anyone you trust and feel able to open up to even just slightly. Because people love and care about you and want to be there for you but only can be if you let them in and meet them half way you know? I know it's a hard thing to do but you can do it and it is possible. Even write things down for someone if talking is too hard. But talk. Don't suffer in silence and don't be alone.

This fight is possible; there is light at the end of the tunnel and you can get through this. Yes its hard and you're going to have to work damn hard and work with people and give it time but you'll get there and it will be so worth it when you that you will be glad you never gave up, trust me. Life can be so beautiful and it's so precious, you deserve to give it a go.

I'm here if you want a chat
Jessie


"Only in the dark, can you see the stars..."
Josie 12/3/2014, always in my heart. Sue 19/2/2016; Peter, Ellie, Hannah, Andy, Kirtsie RIP.

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  (#9 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Thinking about ending it tonight - June 23rd 2015, 06:57 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Treble View Post
Hi guys, I'm still alive, I've just been let out of hospital. But I'm ok.
Thanks for letting us know - I'm so glad to hear that you're okay. Do you want to talk about anything? I'd be happy to listen if you want to talk so you can PM me if you'd like. Hope you're feeling a little better now. You should be proud of yourself for hanging on. You're strong enough to get through this, don't forget that.
   
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