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BreathingIn Offline
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im desperate - July 15th 2015, 02:55 PM

This thread has been labeled as triggering, particularly on the subject of suicide, by the original poster or by a Moderator. The contents of this thread therefore might not be suitable for certain sensitive users. Please take this into consideration before continuing to read.

I can't handle living with my mom anymore. She gets high and extremely hyper. She runs around in circles, stomping her feet, screaming, singing, slamming doors.

I tell her to be quieter and she screams at me, telling me I'm a miserable b!tch and I have problems if I think she's loud. Again, she's high and becomes extremely hyper from it.

She screams at me to get a job, but so far I have applied 100 places and rejected. I am trying to get a job but it is hopeless.

If I can't get a job, then I have no money and I am forced to stay living with her. I have no friends or other family to go to. If I have to live with her, I would rather kill myself.

I get headaches every day because of her noise. My stomach gets upset and I always feel like throwing up. I'm sick of being emotionally abused every day. I'm tired of being a loser.

There is no hope in my life anymore because I have no way of ever leaving her. I have no money and cannot get a job. I'm better off dead. I would be happier. I don't have a way to do it right now because I'm scared to fail and be crippled the rest of my life, then I'd be right back where I am now.

I need help and don't know where to turn.
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alongfortheride Offline
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Re: im desperate - July 18th 2015, 05:55 PM

Firstly, this is very important that you know that: You are not a looser or a bitch. You are not a failure or useless and there is hope.
When someone says something or does something again and again it is tiring and starts to break you down- mentally and physically. It is very easy for people to say 'Just pick yourself up and try again' but when you actually do that, it is actually so hard just to even get yourself to stand up. But, doesn't mean you can't.
Reach out to people around you and talk to them about what's going on in your head. Find a way to relax yourself like reading, painting or music. Go running or swimming. Make yourself healthy and happy inside . You are your own foundation so you gotta make yourself strong and part of that is believing that you can ^-^
Try classes to take which give you a better chance of getting a job or go to support centers. If you really can't find a job do volunteering with your free time- it'll give you motivation and will be something to add to your job applications.
I totally believe you can do this and when you do, you can turn around and say to you mum that you did exactly what she said you couldn't.
I wish you all the luck in the world xx

We were born to be
not perfect

Last edited by alongfortheride; July 18th 2015 at 05:58 PM. Reason: Grammarrr
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nouedis Offline
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Re: im desperate - July 20th 2015, 12:46 AM

Never believe what your grotesque mother ever told you.
She's on her high horse.
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