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Depression and Suicide If you or a loved one is feeling depressed or suicidal, you are not alone. Talk with other users about your feelings here.

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happymonkey Offline
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My Friend Doesn't Know About My Depression - July 21st 2015, 06:35 AM

Hi, I'm not sure where to post this, but I'm giving it a go here. A couple years ago, I was beyond depressed and coped by cutting myself, ultimately ending up in a mental hospital on suicide watch. Another friend of mine was admitted a few months before I was, which I had known about. Recently, a totally different friend was telling me (for what she believed was news to me) about how that friend was in the mental hospital and how crazy she is and all sorts of other things. She's a great friend and never judge mental of me, but I'm concerned to tell her about my past. I don't want her to think that I'm some crazy, suicidal person too, especially since I'm in such a better place now. Should I tell her? I don't want her hearing it from someone else, but if happened years ago and really isn't relevant any more. By the way, I'm so sorry if this was triggering for anyone, I didn't know how to tag it so I'm so sorry if I've offended anybody.
                   
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Re: My Friend Doesn't Know About My Depression - July 21st 2015, 06:13 PM

Hey there. I want to say that I'm so glad you're in a better place now, and I'm so glad you overcame the pain and hardship you did to get where you are now. I feel that if you want to tell your friend, then go for it. I myself was also admitted in to the hospital at one point, but I don't tell anyone, unless I feel that it would benefit them from knowing some how.

I feel like you shouldn't feel obligated to tell her, because it's in no way her business to know. Most people have a hard time understanding things they deal with personally. Seems to me like your friend is quick to judge, rather than to understand.

I'm sorry you have to be put in this position. I wish you all the best.


"One day, in retrospect, the years of struggle will strike you as the most beautiful." ~Sigmund Freud

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Re: My Friend Doesn't Know About My Depression - July 21st 2015, 06:25 PM

Hi I'm so sorry you hear about what happened. I think you should tell your friend about your past. It's better to let your friend hear from you instead of another friend. I once I had to tell my friends that I wasn't going to the same middle school as them. I had one friend tell one of my BFF's about me switching schools and my BFF texted me an angry text saying my friend was telling her I was going to a different middle school and when I told her it was true she got even angrier saying why didn't I tell her. If you want your friend to know tell her your self since then what happened with me doesn't happen to you.
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Re: My Friend Doesn't Know About My Depression - July 21st 2015, 07:58 PM

Hello there and welcome

I've found that it depends on the friend whether to tell them or not. I know personally that there are certain friends I tell these things to and others I don't. It's a decision you have to make based on their reactions to the subject of mental health and how comfortable you feel about them knowing. If you don't want to, you certainly aren't required to. It's up to you.


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Re: My Friend Doesn't Know About My Depression - July 21st 2015, 10:18 PM

Hi there.

I guess different people take it differently, but at the end of the day she's your friend and I would hope she'd respect you for telling her the truth and also be sensitive towards the matter since she is your friend. Friends don't judge on things like this. Thats something I have learnt. I lost a lot of friends when I started having panic attacks because they judged me. The ones who didn't judge me are the ones that stayed close for a very long time. But at the end of the day, whether you tell her or not is completely up to you. Do what you believe and think is best and what ever the outcome, good or bad, we'll be here!


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Re: My Friend Doesn't Know About My Depression - July 22nd 2015, 12:29 AM

Hey there!

You've obviously been through a lot and I'm sorry you struggled so much. I just want to say that you're a really strong person and I'm so happy you're in a better place now.

Sounds like your friend is quick to judge seeing how she said your other friend was "crazy" along with other things for being in a mental hospital. Thing is, being judgmental doesn't mean she always will be. She may be this way as a result of not being well-educated in the subject of mental health. Plus, people who haven't been through the same things sometimes struggle to understand it. Perhaps you could share that insight with her and see how she responds?

Whether or not you tell her is completely up to you. She doesn't have to know, it just depends on if it's something you would like to share with her and feel comfortable sharing with her. If you do tell her, then it might be a good idea explaining your experience (as much of it that you feel comfortable with) and how it felt for you in ways that'll help her understand it better and what it's like. I hope she'd try to be understanding and respectful towards you since she's your friend.

Hope things continue going well for you. If you do tell her, I hope it goes okay. Let us know how things go for you and message me if you need someone to talk to.

Take care and stay strong!
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Re: My Friend Doesn't Know About My Depression - July 22nd 2015, 01:25 AM

You should be more open about it so people can actually help you out.
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Re: My Friend Doesn't Know About My Depression - July 22nd 2015, 06:03 AM

Hey there,

I don't think you should feel obligated to tell this friend. I think that, if you want, you can tell her but at the end of the day it isn't something you have to tell anyone. I tend to only tell people who I feel need to know these things about me. I've really only told two friends about my stay in the mental hospital and then I told my boyfriend. I told these two friends because I trusted them with the information. I ended up telling my boyfriend because I thought it was important for me to be open about my mental health struggles since they are relevant to my life today.

If you do tell your friend hopefully she will not judge you. I know there have been people that have judged me for my struggles and those peoples opinions don't really matter all that much. The people that know and haven't judged me are the ones who matter.

Best of luck.
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Re: My Friend Doesn't Know About My Depression - July 23rd 2015, 11:34 PM

First off, it's great that you are in a better place now. I would like to think your friend would be more understanding of your situation seeing as it sounds as if the two of you are very close. Sometimes it's easier to have a passing judgment of something if it does not affect you or someone close to you. Best wishes.
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