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Depression and Suicide If you or a loved one is feeling depressed or suicidal, you are not alone. Talk with other users about your feelings here.

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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
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I can't take any more - July 21st 2015, 03:54 PM

This thread has been labeled as triggering, particularly on the subject of suicide, by the original poster or by a Moderator. The contents of this thread therefore might not be suitable for certain sensitive users. Please take this into consideration before continuing to read.

My mom told me today how she would be fine if I disappeared saying how no one can stand to be around me and doesn't care about me. She criticizes me everyday, yells and me, and breaks me down everyday. And I just can't handle it anymore. I've given a lot of though about ending it all. Just take away the pain once and for all
   
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Re: I can't take any more - July 21st 2015, 03:56 PM

I'm just tired of being called worthless and nothing everyday. It hurts more than words can describe to have no one there who understands. No one to say, I'm with you. And no one to say, it's going to be okay
   
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Re: I can't take any more - July 21st 2015, 05:27 PM

Hey there. You are not worthless! Other people, even your parents, are not allowed to dictate how you feel. It stings more from your mom because, well, she's your mom.

It WILL be okay, I promise you. It is okay to not listen to your mom and to maybe take a step away from her. Begin distancing yourself from her. It is perfectly okay to do that. When anyone is not making you feel good about yourself, then you need to get away from them. It could be a coworker, a friend, a significant other, and even a family member. Would you continue to sit next to a stranger on a bus who is calling you names? No. You would probably get up and move to another seat. This is the same thing. And like I said, it's harder because it is your mother, someone you think cares for you. That's supposed to be her job after all, isn't it? Yeah, the cold reality of life is that some mothers aren't caring and it's very hard to realize you have one of them. I'm in a similar situation.

Everyone has worth in this world. You are a strong person for holding on and basically putting up with it. Keep going. You've made it this far. I know it hurts. I know days can seem like years. But one day you are going to break free from her and live a wonderful life full of wonderful things you can't even imagine! Great things are going to happen in your life and you deserve to be around to experience it all.

If you need anything, don't hesitate to PM me. All the best <3
   
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Re: I can't take any more - July 22nd 2015, 12:05 AM

Hey there.

What you're going through sounds incredibly hard. Especially to be going through this alone. Which is why I'm so happy that you decided to reach out here. I'm so sorry that your mom is treating you this way and saying all those things to you. I can understand why you'd feel this low as a result. No one should have to be told that everyday.

What your mom is telling you is not true. To say such horrible things to a person is wrong all on its own, but to say things like that to your own son? She must have been through her own share of struggles to become that way and I feel compassion for that (just as I do for you too), but the way she's treating you isn't okay at all because regardless of what she's been through, it doesn't make it okay to demean someone else with words like that. As BreathingIn said, it's okay to not listen to your mom when she's treating you like that.

Do you have any family members you can move in with, or friends you can spend time with so that you aren't stuck at home as long? Opening up to someone about this could be really helpful as well because you don't deserve to have to keep it all to yourself. Could you open up to the school counselor or a trusted teacher at your school about your life at home? Here's a list of people you can go to who can help you. Having outlets and ways to get out what happens at home and the feelings that come with it is important as well. Do you have a journal? Journaling is healthy and therapeutic.

Thinking of your future might help a lot. Make a list of reasons to live, similar to this list but more personalized to your goals and wishes. You're 16 and you have a lot of life ahead of you. This situation at home that you're in, you won't always be in it, okay? I wanted to remind you of that because this isn't all there is to life. There's so much more to life than how you feel right now and how you're being treated. You won't always be treated the way you're being treated right now. Later on, you can move out and let people of your own choice into your life, people who treat you with kindness and respect; true friends.

Just want to say that everything will be okay. I can honestly see how it'd feel like nothing will be okay especially in the position you're in and when you're feeling the way you're feeling. I understand you feel like you can't take anymore - after all, you aren't being treated well at all and it's awful. But you can get through this, okay? People are so much stronger than they give themselves credit for. I believe that you can get through this and be so thankful later on in your life that you decided to hold on. Because even though life isn't so great and easy right now, there's always the future and there's bound to be much happier days, experiences and things to come. The happy days are worth living for. So focus on your future, because you have a lot more potential and worth than what you think, feel or are being told. You can come out of this with more strength than before even if you don't realize that, and a lot of compassion and wisdom. The hardships in everyone's lives can offer some positivity if you look hard enough.

You're welcome to continue posting here. You don't have to go through this alone anymore as there's tons of supportive, friendly people here willing to be there for you if you ever need to talk. Speaking of, let me know if you would like to talk, even if it's just a vent. You can message me anytime, okay? Take care and stay strong, you can do this.
   
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Re: I can't take any more - July 22nd 2015, 01:23 AM

Don't ever believe the things it is she says to you. Just ignore it and continue to move on. You're worth more than her.
   
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Re: I can't take any more - July 22nd 2015, 06:32 AM

This morning I tried talking to my mom about what she's done and how it makes me feel, but she blew up in my face saying how everything bad that's every happened in my life in because of me. How no one wants me, no one could ever love me. And no one would want to be around me. Saying how if I were to disappear no one would care/notice. It's hard to hear that. I have a couple people I trust. One is my boyfriend of a year and a half, (long distance which sucks) and a friend who just went through a traumatic experience so I'm trying to be there for her as well as try to brush off what my mom says on a daily basis. Luckily at the end of the summer I'll be moving in with my grandma, but she does a lot of the similar things so it's not that much improvement. I'm just feeling overwhelmed by everything and feel like it's breaking me down
   
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Re: I can't take any more - July 22nd 2015, 11:43 PM

Hey, I know what it's like. Trust me, I do, but these certain things you can't let them get the best of you. You have to overcome the odds and manage somehow and someway. I'm sure you will, so all will be fine for you in the end. I know it.
   
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Re: I can't take any more - July 23rd 2015, 01:01 AM

Is your grandmother on your mom's side of the family? You mentioned that she's very similar to your mom. Your mom may be the way she is because it's the way she was treated also. That still doesn't make it okay and I'm not justifying the way she's treating you, I just wanted to point that out because the things she's saying to you could simply be a result of all she was told growing up and she's bitter from it, you know?

Can I share a thought and an idea? I hope that it's okay. This could be a wonderful goal and opportunity for you to get something positive from this difficult situation you're in. By always putting your best effort in to change things around by embracing your caring, kind side by being the opposite of your mom's negative side. You're already doing this because all of this you're struggling with and you're still supporting your friend through her troubles. That takes a lot of care and loyalty for your friend, you know? If you were nothing, if you were worthless, then how could you have such a caring heart?

I know it doesn't make the words hurt any less, but I wanted to remind you again that none of those words she's telling you is true. You're a human being, you have a lot of worth and purpose, regardless of what your mom says. I'm not going to say I understand, and I can imagine having your mom say those things to you is something that sticks with you. I imagine it hurts a lot more than I can understand and the way she's treating you isn't right. I truly hope things improve for you and that you start being treated a lot better, in a nice way that you deserve. All of this has got to be incredibly difficult for you, it would be for anyone but I believe you can do this. Stay strong.

Message me if you need. You aren't alone.
   
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Re: I can't take any more - July 23rd 2015, 03:57 AM

I wish I could do more than just say words to you.
   
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Re: I can't take any more - July 23rd 2015, 12:20 PM

First post :-)

Why exactly is she calling you worthless? Maybe you are not taking your studies well, or not taking your job seriously, or being rude to her? I think that you have to also see what you could fix within yourself first.
   
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Re: I can't take any more - July 23rd 2015, 11:22 PM

Sorry to hear this - family strife can be difficult. Is there perhaps someone else you can stay with if things are bad at home? It's unfortunate how parents can be toward their children at times and I wish you well.
   
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Re: I can't take any more - July 25th 2015, 01:42 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by konigsberg View Post
First post :-)

Why exactly is she calling you worthless? Maybe you are not taking your studies well, or not taking your job seriously, or being rude to her? I think that you have to also see what you could fix within yourself first.
Im a straight A student, I'm a hard worker at my job and if it wasn't just for the summer I would've been promoted. I don't do drugs. I don't drink alcohol. When she calls my best friend a slut and makes fun of everyone behind their nacks, I tend to get upset in defense. It's been like this for as long as I can remember. I remember at 3 years old that I would pray every night to be 'reborn' so I could fix all my mistakes and maybe my mom wouldn't get so mad at me. At 3 years old. I was an unwanted child with a man she can not stand and hates.
   
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