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Listelacruz Offline
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My mom - July 27th 2015, 02:19 PM

Okay so I'm not entirely sure where this should go so I'm putting it here. It's not about preventing suicide, it's about the way I'm dealing with it.

Yesterday I found out that my mom killed herself. Just two weeks ago I moved 1100 miles away from home. I got a call from my old neighbor telling me no one had seen her in days and so we called the police to have a welfare check done. That's how we found out.

Now my issue is, honestly, I feel like I don't care. I feel bad for not feeling bad. It doesn't bother me that my mom is dead, especially by suicide. I don't know what's wrong with me but I just can't seem to feel anything about it. It's not like I'm numb either, because I can forget it easily and laugh about other things. It's the same way you feel about stepping on a cockroach: you don't feel. But it's my mom and not a cockroach obviously. So I don't know why I feel this way (or don't feel).
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Re: My mom - July 27th 2015, 03:43 PM

First off, I'd like to offer my condolences for your loss. That is a sad and often shocking way to lose someone.

Without knowing the history of your relationship with your mother, I can only speak as someone with a rather strained relationship (essentially non-existent, actually) with his own parents, and quite honestly, if my mother and/or father passed away tomorrow, it really wouldn't affect me much. Personally, I've never subscribed to the theory of "Family is family, no matter what, and you must love and stand by them." It's all in how you are treated by a particular person. Some people deserve that regard from you and some do not.

Also, even if your relationship with your mother was a good one, remember that everyone grieves differently. For some, it takes a few days for the impact of something huge to sink in.

My best wishes go out to you and your family.
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Listelacruz Offline
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Re: My mom - July 31st 2015, 10:52 PM

Thanks for the input.

I just moved out of the house 2 weeks ago and lived with her my entire life. I never much enjoyed my home life but I never hated my mom.

In fact I forgot I made this post until just now. It's just slipping my mind, its had time to set in but hasn't. Still, for some reason, I just don't seem to care.
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