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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
scorp_fighter Offline
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Name: Ivy Violan
Age: 23
Gender: Female

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Join Date: August 6th 2015

Need advice 😢 - August 6th 2015, 07:06 AM

I don't know where to start, but i'm always feeling sad and feel hopeless, and it's only because of one boy. He was in my high school, but in different class, i never talk to him until we were both taking tuition classes at this one place. That's where i got to know him more, we became friends, and suddenly i began to develop some feelings for him. I dont know why exactly, may be i fell for his sense of humor, his helpful attitude, and etc, but i didn't know the exact reason actually. I never told him about it, and kept it hidden for almost 3 years because i thought that i will never had a chance. We were both very close, often insulting each other but never really meant it, although we were both in different classes, during our break, when we will pass each other, there's always a moment where we would insult or tease each other. One day, my English teacher decided to do an activity in class where each of us have to write a letter to anyone in the school, be it your crush, your friend, or anybody. And the teacher promised not to expose our names. So, u can guess it, i believed the teacher and wrote that 'confession letter' to him because i thought,'Just do it. He will never know who the sender is anyway". and guess what? The teacher broke her promise.-.- I don't know if I should be thankful or not. Because that 'boy' and I didnt talk to each other again until we finished high school. I didn't know why until 6 months later, he texted me and we chatted like we used to again. But, during that 6 months, he had been dating girls, another after another. He then finally revealed to me that he knew about the letter that i wrote to him. I was really surprised and mad at my teacher at the same time. But we never talk about my feelings. 5 months later, he asked me to be his gf and told me that he loves me. I refused to believe it at first, because if he really loved me, he wouldn't go being in relationship with another girl. I never liked other boys as i never stop having feelings for him. WHen i asked him why he chose me, he simply said," Because it's you" and i thought "what the? That's it?" I had a bad feeling about this, but since i cared about him so much, i accepted him. He was really sweet, and always let me know how much he loved me, and i believed him. I opened up to him, show him the true side of me, and i felt very happy, because i thought that he accepts me the way i am. But, it was barely a month when he decided to break with me. His reasons are unacceptable. My friends said, of he really loved you, he wouldn't break up with you like this, through a text message. I rarely cry, but he managed to make me. I tried to hate him, but it only turns to sadness. I think about how much he hurts me all the time. I searched for nice quotes at the internet to lift up my spirits, and they worked, but only for a short time. My friends are really far away, and they always comforted me when i talk to them about my feelings. If i followed my heart, i want to talk to them about my feelings everyday because everytime i talk about it, i feel better again. But, i dont want to annoy them, so i kept it bottled inside. Maybe in the eyes of the other's, this is a small matter, a silly teenage problem, but to me, it's more than that. It's killing me inside everyday, and seeing him with another girl makes it even worse. We dated just for a short while but it's very painful as i had L him for a long time. I wanted to move on so badly, but i dont know how, I'm afraid that this will affect my future, as I am a student now. It's been a year since we broke up, but the pain i felt didn't go away a bit. I always act happy and cheerful on the outside but no one ever truly know how i'm feeling inside. I can't focus on my studies until my mother will be angry with me when i messed things up. But i just kept quiet, my mother is a sweet and nice person, but i never dared to tell her about my problem. Because i know that she will just dismiss it and see it as 'a small teenage problem,not harmful at all' So, i just keep everthing by myself. So..that's it.. 😊☺

  (#2 (permalink)) Old
LeRiA Offline
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Re: Need advice 😢 - August 6th 2015, 02:46 PM

I know how you feel . I had a crush on a boy for 4 years, we dated, but then broke up. It took me 2 years for me to get over him, but that was because I started noticing other boys and girls and everything in between. My friends made fun of me because of how I was"staring" at that boy/girl! and when you said that your friends are really far away, do you mean as in metaphorically? What I'm trying to say is... Notice other people. Start looking at the good in others! :P make the relationship that you did with the other boy with them, but get a stringer understanding of them and make them like you! if you need help with anything else, feel free to talk to me whenever

I'm not a cutter, I'm a fighter.
These are my scars from battle.
This is the blood of my enemies.
Don't relate me to them, because unlike them,
I'm strong,
and they can be just like me if they try.
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Re: Need advice 😢 - August 7th 2015, 12:46 AM

Hi, Ivy!

I'm really sorry about this. I just want you to know that I understand and don't see it as a "silly teenage problem". Regardless of anyone's age, they have the ability to love and that also creates the ability to be badly hurt by a break-up. Just because you're a teenager doesn't mean your feelings or this break-up is any less significant. I can see that you're hurting quite deeply. You obviously cared for him a great deal and he wasn't respectful enough to break up with you in person rather than a text message.

Your friends apparently care about you a lot to listen and to comfort you so I highly doubt you're bothering them. If you feel better after talking about it then I think you should continue opening up to those close to you. On that note, you can PM me anytime, okay? Writing out your feelings and thoughts can be incredibly helpful in getting things off your chest so feel free to vent to me anytime. I can't promise I'll be helpful in the area of advice but I certainly don't mind listening. Just try your best not to let yourself bottle up your feelings as that's really unhealthy. You can also start a blog here to discuss your feelings and things going on in your day-to-day life. It can be a great outlet. Speaking of outlets, do you have a journal? Journaling about your feelings can be very therapeutic and a healthy way of expressing yourself. Along with finding fun in hobbies and spending time with family and friends. Don't be afraid to introduce yourself to new potential friends as well! Meeting new people can be refreshing and it'd also be a good idea to spend time with people rather than spending time alone often.

Here's a helpful article that discusses the topic of breaking up and ways to cope and overcome it. I realize that moving on isn't easy or simple but I just want to point out that you deserve to be treated a lot better than this and I believe you'll soon find a guy who will treat you will and truly love you. That is something worth waiting for. So even know you're hurting so much, try your best to keep your heart open for a nice guy that you deserve and think of what the future could bring, you know? And in the meantime, embrace your free time and do what makes you happy. You're strong and not alone. Everything's gonna be okay, Ivy. Message me anytime. I mean that.
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