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Depression and Suicide If you or a loved one is feeling depressed or suicidal, you are not alone. Talk with other users about your feelings here.

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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
ZaraWrites Offline
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Unhappy I want to get help - September 10th 2015, 02:13 PM

This thread has been labeled as triggering, particularly on the subject of suicide, by the original poster or by a Moderator. The contents of this thread therefore might not be suitable for certain sensitive users. Please take this into consideration before continuing to read.

For the past couple of weeks, I've been feeling really depressed. Like so depressed, I don't want to get out of bed in the mornings. I have tried to commit suicide a couple of times, and with my anti-depressants, my fiancé is keeping hold of them, so he knows I'm being safe. I know he cares about me, and I feel bad because I feel like I get all stupid and like he doesn't care about me as much as I think.

I have got a book which is helping me understand my depression, as well as helping him understand, and since I've read some of the book out to him, he's understanding too. I also got a book from the library called "Overcoming Depression." And I am going to read it, because I really want to get help.

I'm now at that stage where I am happy that I am alive, and I should feel lucky that I have two parents who love me, as well as a fiancé that loves me... I will keep everyone updated on how I am coping probably a couple of days time or whatever

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Re: I want to get help - September 10th 2015, 05:38 PM

Hi Zara.

I think it's really great you're at a point where you're glad to be alive and therefore are wanting help to get better. You can only get better when you want to so that's so important in this. The fact is is that your other half having your anti depressants isn't going to stop you from trying to kill yourself but its you that is stopping yourself. You'd easily find something else to take or do to try to take your life but you're not and that's brilliant and something you should be really proud of yourself even though you are feeling depressed and you are struggling right now.

I am sorry things are hard for you but I really think you're going to get through this. Do you have any support in place like seeing a community psychiatric nurse or a counselor? If not it might be something that is worth looking into because having that support, someone to talk too, and therapy can be really helpful and they might open pathways to other things as well such as support groups, occupational therapists etc which can also be really beneficial. And you know what? You deserve that support. You really do. And I think you are in a place where you would work with people and meet them halfway so you can work together with them so getting the help would actually help you and you deserve that. You don't deserve to go through this alone and suffer in silence.

I know getting out of bed in the mornings and getting ready etc can be hard and this is something I can relate to because I struggle with it on a daily basis. Maybe try getting a good routine in place? I have recently been in hospital so started going to bed at a certain time, getting up at a certain time, taking so long to get ready, having a bath in the morning and taking my medication at certain times and doing different things that I used to enjoy like colouring and reading and writing a lot. Try and for fill your days with things you like to do as well as things you need to do. I also find it helpful to have positive things around me room so when I wake up in the morning, it helps me to get motivated. Things like cards from people, photo's and quotes etc. Jjust a thought.

If you ever want to talk or anything know we're, I'm, here and you can do this. We're rooting for you and are just one step behind you in this to help catch you if you fall but I honestly believe you can get through this. You show so much strength and it is honestly amazing, believe in yourself, okay?

Take good care of yourself and stay safe,

"Only in the dark, can you see the stars..."
Josie 12/3/2014, always in my heart. Sue 19/2/2016; Peter, Ellie, Hannah, Andy, Kirtsie RIP.

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Re: I want to get help - September 10th 2015, 08:53 PM

Hey, Zara.

I'm sorry that you're feeling so depressed to have attempted suicide a couple of times. And also that your depression made you second-guess how much those around you care. Although, I am really, really glad that you now see how much your parents and fiance do care for you. I imagine they love you very much. I'm also glad that you want to get help. That is an amazing first step, Zara. For a lot of people, it can be so hard to take that first step and reach out. You should be proud of yourself.

Reading books about depression and also having your fiance read them too is a fantastic idea so that he can understand better. Unfortunately for many people, their unhelpful ways of handling certain situations involving those they love stem from simply not understanding the problem. Which is why educating those around you about what you're going through is such a good idea. I hope having your fiance's support helps you through this. Aside from your fiance, have you spoken to your parents about your depression and how it affects you? Do you currently see a therapist? Therapy might be quite beneficial in helping you find ways to cope and recover from this.

Can I make a few suggestions that I feel may help? For many people, taking care of themselves physically can help decrease their depression. It's not the cure, of course but it can have a positive impact. By taking care of yourself I mean keeping good hygiene, maintaining a healthy and nutritious diet with protein, exercising, getting a decent amount of sleep etc. A lot of those things can contribute to how you feel, so taking care of yourself in physical ways could help you have more good days.

Another suggestion I thought I'd make is to get lots of sunlight. Simply going for a short walk in the sun everyday could be beneficial as sunlight releases endorphins. On the note of sunlight, how about making a garden that symbolizes your recovery? You could plant new flowers when you set new goals or start seeing lots of progress. Tending to the garden could also be a positive hobby to do in your spare time and again: it's in the sun! Secondly, do you think it would help to rearrange your room? I've seen some people say that their room or their house stays the same for so long and it reminds them of their depression in a way. So perhaps it'd be refreshing to redecorate your room by adding new, brighter colors and rearranging furniture?

Perhaps you could keep a journal throughout your recovery so you can have a place to vent and also celebrate progress? The fact that you are glad to be alive and want to overcome your depression is so great. As Jessie said, many of us are here for you if you need support throughout your journey. Stay hopeful and don't give up, Zara. Take care of yourself. You can get through this, just take it one step at a time and believe in yourself.
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