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Megane Offline
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I do not feel human anymore - September 21st 2015, 03:20 AM

This thread has been labeled as triggering, particularly on the subject of death or grieving, by the original poster or by a Moderator. The contents of this thread might therefore not be suitable for certain sensitive users. Please take this into consideration before continuing to read.

Despair, depression and thoughts of worthlessness cannot be avoided if you're someone like me. A person who's been through worse experiences imaginable. I've been betrayed, physically abused, tormented and bullied numerous times before I even reached the age of ten. The people who wanted to see me suffer were people I barely knew and the people who disrespected me and tore down my self-confidence were people who I once considered my friends. Yet things somehow manage to get worse than they were before in middle school, things only heading towards my downfall and my worthless friends were right there to push me into the pit of darkness even further. I was even hospitalized after having an anxiety attack when I tried my hardest to escape from getting beaten up by other students; doctors thought I had a heart abnormality because of it and I had to wear a heart monitor under my clothing. Who knew the exact same heart monitor would be tied around my throat to choke me just to give satisfaction to my "friends"? Now I'm finally starting at a new high school, far away from the people who caused me pain, without a single regret in my mind.

But was it really all worth it? Making new friends at a new school are just passing memories to me; since everyone seems to think I'm the "LIVING EMBODIMENT OF ALL THAT IS NEGATIVE AND PESSIMISTIC" Seriously? Am I really deserving of that title?

Things were never any good for me and even if I ever was "happy", happiness is still just an illusion generated by the balance of serotonin and dopamine in the neural circuit in the brain. Everything can be reduced to evident laws and axioms that the universe dictates, we have no control over our lives and the path of fate is absolute.
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rigirl10101010 Offline
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Re: I do not feel human anymore - September 25th 2015, 01:19 PM

I feel you. I've been teased, Bullied, called names like ugly, stupid, and some things I can't write down. It's not fun at all. and the people who do it still do it.
Now for the school, Think. What might make them give you that title. Mabye try for clubs like student counsel or something, or even make up your own. Find people who have similarites to you, or someone who just needs a friend. That's Where you'll find friends, because in our world today, I think we all need a friend.
So now go into school, make friends, and just be the best you that you can be, and everything will be fine.
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Green Yoshi Offline
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Re: I do not feel human anymore - September 26th 2015, 04:16 PM

Just try new things, and forget about the people who made you suffer. You deserve better than to feel this way, and i promise you that things will work out. No point overthinking things.. you've got a brand new situation... think about it positively, and forget about the trauma. you deserve better than to think about this trauma and how much it made you suffer in the past.

New doors, new opportunities. Everyone deserves to be happy and so do you *hugs* I know you want to be happy, and you will be happy

Think positively, look at things in a new light and i'm very sure that things will work out. In case you ever have a bad day, i want you to know that i'm here for you. Rant to me anytime!

It's called a tunnel because there's ALWAYS a light at the end.

rant to me if there's anything!



As usual... pm me if you are ever having a tough day, and I'll respond immediately.

You guys deserve to be happy no matter what.. okay? You people are a bunch of lovelies ... and no matter what, you people deserve to be happy.
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